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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107255">The Truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmScully/pseuds/EmScully'>EmScully</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek Voyager, chakotay - Fandom, janeway - Fandom, katherine janeway - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Chakotay - Freeform, Death, Drama, F/M, Janeway - Freeform, Janeway and Chakotay are serious, Janeway torture, New Earth, Smut, Super Drama, Torture, my spin on a few episodes, relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:54:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmScully/pseuds/EmScully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The repercussions of "New Earth" between the command team. Can love really overpower anything? Set during the year after New Earth with my spin on a lot of episodes. Lots of drama, I mean, a lot of it. Good smut, too, for you weirdos! ;)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   It had only been a few weeks since Kathryn and Chakotay had returned from "New Earth," and everything (and nothing) had changed. Those months on the fertile planet with her first officer had been something she had never experienced before; not even with Mark, and she was continuously catching herself going back there in her mind, and yearning for more. The crew had not noticed a change in their command team, and they continued on with the work happy to have them back.<br/>

     Chakotay was quiet and more reserved around Kathryn, and she was not much different. It was hard for both of them to adjust back to the command structure relationship; the impersonal references of captain and commander were foreign and almost bitter on the tongue. They were professional of course, and carried on with their duties on Voyager with the same honor and enthusiasm as they had before.</p><p>   Kathryn was heading towards her quarters after a long shift when she heard footsteps behind her. Without looking she slowed down, closed her eyes, and sighed.</p><p>   "I guess you want to talk?" She breathed out and turned around to face the handsome Native American.</p><p>   "Don't you think we should?" He replied in a calm tone. Kathryn could swear she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.</p><p>   She held her hand up to him and shook her head. "Cho….commander, please. Lets not make this harder than it has to be."</p><p>   "Why? Why does it have to be hard, Kathryn?" The volume of his already deep voice raised, and her eyes darted to his face at the sound of her first name. He held his ground and looked down at her. "We need to talk and you know it, this is not something you can hide from or order to the brig. This is our lives, this is our future!"</p><p>   She clenched her jaw and flexed her hands at her sides. "Why must we make this about us? We are back, Chakotay, our lives can go on, back to normal, the way they were.” She pulled at her red jacket and pushed a stray hair out of her face, never taking her eyes off of her first officer.</p><p>   "Things will never be back to normal, there is no more normal.” His eyes suddenly turned cold and he swallowed hard before running a hard through his hair. "Have a good night, Captain.” And with that he turned away, leaving her there staring after him.</p><p>   Kathryn walked slowly to her quarters and stopped before going inside, bracing a hand on the silver frame of the door, she bit her lip and replayed the last few moments with Chakotay over and over. Unsatisfied, she slammed her palm on the wall and went inside. "Coffee. Black” she called to the replicator as she undid her jacket and pulled down her long hair. He was right, dammit he was always right. She sipped her coffee and sat down in her chair and rubbed her forehead out of habit. They needed to talk, she would talk and she would tell him the truth. She loved him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Janeway to Chakotay." Chakotay's commbadge chirped and his head snapped up and he bit down on one boxing glove with his mouth and dropped it, tapping his own badge.</p><p>   "Chakotay here." He wiped the back of his hand over his forehead to push the sweat from getting into his eyes and pulled off his other glove.</p><p>   "Are you free commander?"</p><p>   "Yes ma'am, what can I do for you?" A small smile passed over his mouth but disappeared before he allowed it to take over.</p><p>   "Can you meet me in my quarters?"</p><p>   "Of course captain, I am on my way". He left the hollodeck and headed towards the turbo lift without bothering to change his clothes.</p><p>  "Janeway out."</p><p>   After a few moments Chakotay was walking towards the Captain's quarters, his thoughts racing. He stopped at her door, took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders and shook his head clear before he chimed the bell.</p><p>   "Come in" Kathryn's voice was muffled from inside her quarters. The room was dim when he walked in and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. He scanned the room and saw Kathryn sitting on her couch. Her long hair was down around her shoulders and she wore standard issue grey lounge pants and what looked like a homemade beige sweater. She stood up as he walked towards her. "I thought you said you weren't busy?" She asked as she mentioned towards his boxing outfit with a slight smirk on her face.</p><p>   "Just releasing some pent up energy" He replied, suddenly self conscious of his decision not to change. He felt stupid and wished he hadn't acted on his eagerness to see her. His heart pounded in his chest as he looked at the woman in front of him. Just being in her presence made him feel good, it felt natural.</p><p>   "Please, have a seat." She sat back down and he sat across from her on her leather Starfleet chair and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm glad you came," she said as she curled her legs up under herself, leaning her head on her hand, arm resting on the side of the couch. She was doing all she could to hide her nerves.</p><p>   "I'm glad you asked me…." His voice trailed off, he was waiting for her to make the first move.</p><p>   "About our talk or lack there of… a few days ago." She sat up straighter getting straight to the point. "That wasn't fair and I wanted to apologize.”</p><p>   "Oh?" He asked curiously, never taking his dark eyes off of her. "Why do you feel you need to apologize?"</p><p>   "Because you were right, Chakotay. We do need to talk, I have been trying to push the truth aside and move past what went on between us as if nothing has happened. But it's been difficult." She wrung her hands and cleared her throat as her first officer watched and waited. "What happened between us, down there. New Earth, it…. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced Chakotay."</p><p>  "Captain…" He stood up and took a step towards her. She put her hands up.</p><p>   "Please, let me finish" She retorted and he sat back down letting out a deep breath. "I thought we were going to be there forever. After the storm I knew I wouldn't be able to get us out of there. I accepted that and accepted our lives together. I tried to hold back those… these feelings". She stared at him.</p><p>   Chakotay's mouth went dry. "Kathryn, you don't have to explain."</p><p>   "I am the captain of this ship,” she continued, ignoring Chakotay's comment "It is extremely unprofessional to being in any sort of relationship with a member of my crew. But I thought we were going to be down there forever,” she repeated herself and smoothed her hair behind her ear.</p><p>   "I thought we were going to be down there forever, too.” He looked down at his hands as Kathryn stared at him. "But my feelings have not faltered since we’ve been back. And I do not expect them too".</p><p>   "I know" she whispered, barely audible. Then she pulled herself together and looked him in the eyes. "I have been trying to hide, from you, from what happened down here between us and how I feel towards you. But it has been eating at me day and night. Gnawing away bit by bit. I'm not sure I can do it anymore, who knows how long we will be out here, if we ever make it back."</p><p>   "No one deserves to be alone, not even the captain of a ship. Life happens Kathryn and unfortunately, or fortunately, we have been put into a situation that is less than normal. All we can do is adapt, hiding is not adapting." His words were soft and sure.</p><p>   "I lied to you, Chakotay, I know life can never be normal again, you were right. But I don’t know how to go forward with this."</p><p>   "Kathryn, we have been out here for over three years, people do not expect the rules and regulations of Starfleet to continuously apply to us. Our circumstances have changed drastically." He moved to sit next to her. "I don't expect us to make any rash decisions if any at all. I just can't ignore or forget New Earth.”</p><p>   "And I can't expect you to, and as much as I have tried, I can't ignore or forget about it either. I just need some time, Chakotay." She sighed and looked at him, placing her hand over his in his lap.</p><p>   "Well, I don’t think time is something you need to worry about right now" He chuckled as he looked around him. "But if you are referring to me, you can have all of the time you need. I am not going anywhere.”  She smiled softly at him, his reply refreshing.</p><p>   "Thank you.” She didn't make a move to be closer to him and he didn't assume he should either. This was something he never thought possible and he wasn't about to push it. He knew how difficult it was for her, to admit feelings for a member of her crew. As a captain she had a reputation to uphold.</p><p>   "You are more than welcome. We will continue to live our lives, command this ship and make our way home. Nothing has to change."</p><p>  "Chakotay, things are going to change." She replied, pulling her hand back, letting her eyes slip from his face. He continued to watch her, wanting more but accepting what he had been given. Things were going to change.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-3 Weeks later-</p><p>"Red alert! Shields up!" Chakotay called over the popping and arcing of plasma rays behind him. He headed towards the command chair and sat down, swiveling his computer towards him, his fingers typing furiously over the controls. "Harry?" He called over his shoulder</p><p>"I can't get a solid read on it!" Harry called back down to the commander.</p><p>"What is IT?!" Chakotay asked to no one in particular.</p><p>"What ever it is, it is draining our shields at a drastic rate. We are unable to compensate. At this frequency we will lose total shields in less than one hour." Tuvok calmly announced to the bridge crew. At that moment the turbo-lift to the bridge opened and Captain Janeway stumbled in as the ship rumbled under her feet. She pushed her hair into place and walked down to her chair as Chakotay moved to his.</p><p>'"Report!" The captain barked as she took her seat.</p><p>"We are being hit with an energy beam from an unknown source. We can't see it and we are having some difficultly locking onto it. It's depleting our shields faster than we can repair them." Chakotay reported.</p><p>Janeway's eyes darted from Chakotay to her own computer screen, then over her shoulder to Tuvok. "Damage"?</p><p>"Minimal" He replied.</p><p>"Have you tried hailing it?"</p><p>"No reply visual or otherwise" Harry answered quickly.</p><p>Kathryn pursed her lips and ran her eyes over her computer. "It's as if they are feeding off of our shields." She rapped her fingers on her forehead and stood up "Harry, fire two photon torpedoes off of our starboard. Second one five seconds after the first. "</p><p>"Yes, ma'am".</p><p>"Captain?" Chakotay looked up at Kathryn in question.</p><p>"If it's energy it wants, that's what it gets. We have more torpedoes than shields and they are higher in dense energy, maybe we can divert its attention long enough to get out of range. Harry…. Fire". Kathryn watched the first torpedo out of the main screen as it streaked across space the second one following closely behind it. The ship shuddered causing more arcing and plasma conduits to explode. Kathryn held on the arm of her chair to balance herself but never removed her eyes from the screen. The bright orange of the torpedoes were suddenly engulfed in a bright green ray, as if being eaten by light.</p><p>"Shields are back to full power" Tuvok announced.</p><p>"Tom, get us out of here, warp seven". Kathryn called as she watched the green light pulse around the torpedoes her eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>"Yes captain" the handsome pilot answered as his fingers flew over the controls.</p><p>"Harry, is it following?" Kathryn looked up to the young man awaiting her answer.</p><p>"No, it doesn't seem so, but our tachyon fields are still fluctuating."</p><p>"Can we compensate?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Alright, lets keep going, maintain speed and course until our energy relays are back to normal. Let's make sure we are not being followed by whatever was devouring our energy. Stand down red alert." Kathryn sat in her chair and crossed her legs.</p><p>"Good morning" Chakotay smiled over at the captain. Kathryn rolled her eyes, shook her head as her lip curled into a slight smile.</p><p>"I haven't had my coffee yet, and by the looks of it, I wont be able to use the extra energy to replicate any at the moment." Her hand flew up torwards Chakotay. "Ah…. No, I do not want to try any of Nelix's homemade version, thank you very much." Chakotay smiled and went back to his computer.</p><p>"Captain, we are out of range of the energy….eater" Harry announced.</p><p>"Slow to impulse, I will be in my ready room.” Captain Janeway headed towards the double doors and went inside.</p><p>Everything had remained calm on the bridge after an hour. There were no signs of the energy eater or anything similar. Chakotay decided to go see if the captain wanted to join him for breakfast and left the bridge to Tuvok. He chimed the door and she answered quickly. He walked in and watched in amusement as Kathryn unlocked her legs and pulled them down off of her desk and put down her PADD.</p><p>"Chakotay" She smiled up at him.</p><p>"You missed breakfast. Are you hungry?" He asked, as he looked her over with a smile forming on his face.</p><p>"Oh, no. Thank you. Any more from the energy sucker?" Chakotay shook his head and sat in a chair across from her. She sat up and put her elbows in her desk placing her chin on her hands. "What is it Chakotay?" She bore her eyes into him and they flashed with animation.</p><p>"Kathryn….." He sighed and ran a tan hand through his dark hair. "Are you coming over tonight?" She sat up, leaned back in her chair, folded her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow at the commander. "I didn't mean it like that" he was quick to retort. "I miss you".</p><p>"The ship doesn't run itself, Chakotay, you know that". She bit her lip as soon as she said it and the commander couldn't pretend the statement didn't hurt as he leaned back into his chair.</p><p>"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." She sighed, stood up and walked around her desk to him. "I miss you too, more than I let on I suppose. I enjoy our time together." She rubbed his shoulders from behind him and leaned forward to kiss his neck. The smell of him was intoxicating and she had forgotten the PADDS she has been reviewing. Her mouth eagerly followed the line of his jaw to find his mouth and she nearly attacked him. He spun around in his chair and grabbed her hips, pulling her down to his lap, his mouth unable to get enough of her. "Chakotay" She let out his name between breaths and the sound of her voice aroused him even more. She pushed away from him, stood up, and ran her tongue over her lips. "Not now, not here." She pulled at the hem of her jacket and Chakotay starred at her with passion in his eyes.</p><p>"I miss you".</p><p>"And I you" she ran her hand down his face. "But I’m still on duty…." As soon as the words left her mouth the ship shook and red flashed all around them. Kathryn swayed and Chakotay jumped up and grabbed her shoulders to steady her and they both made their way out of her ready room.</p><p>"Report" They both said at once, and Kathryn eyed the commander with a sideways glance as they found their posts.</p><p>"It's back" Harry answered.</p><p>"And its angry" Tom added.</p><p>"It has locked onto our shields. They are now at 70 percent and dropping steadily." Tuvok announced in his calm manner.</p><p>"Set up a phaser sweep, 380 around the entire ship, we don't have the energy to loose shields." She tapped her commbadge "Janeway to engineering".</p><p>"Torres here" The young half-Klingon answered almost instantly.</p><p>"Get the core to full impulse, I want to be out of here at full warp on my mark, understood?" The captain rattled off instructions instinctively.</p><p>"Captain, whatever it is, it's also dampening the warp core. I don't have the power to get to full impulse. Unless you can get it off of our energy grid, we wont be going very far." Torres answered, her voice rising. Kathryn knew her chief engineer was doing everything in her power to get the ship out of there, and she had to do the same.</p><p>"Phaser sweep ready, Captain" Harry called out.</p><p>"Do it!" She gripped the arm of her chair and looked over at Chakotay who was busy at his computer, his dark eyes flashing as readings poured onto his screen.</p><p>"Shields down to 60 percent" Tuvok chimed in.</p><p>"Harry?" The captain called to the young ensign.</p><p>"Phaser sweep is at 70 percent and moving steadily across the ship, so far no impact" Harry's voice was filled with anxiety and he moved to the far side of his post relaying instructions into the computer.</p><p>"Captain, with under 50 percent shields we are at too big of risk to take any huge chances but I have an idea” Chakotay called over to Kathryn as a plasma arc burst over head. Kathryn instinctively flinched but kept her seat.</p><p>"I'm open to anything commander, what is it?"</p><p>"Shields at 55 percent" Tuvok reported.</p><p>"The energy eater was attracted to our torpedoes, if we launch four interlocking torpedo waves and are able to maneuver our way into the blast we may be able to dislodge the entity if not destroy it." Kathryn's jaw tightened as she ran the idea through her head.</p><p>"You want to shoot ourselves with our own torpedoes?" Tom spun in his chair and looked at the command team. Kathryn stood up and went to Tom's post and put a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"Do it. Harry, prepare two photon torpedo arrays at 3 second intervals." She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Torres.”</p><p>"Torres here.”</p><p>"We need at least 75 percent on the core, we are going to need a quick burst in about 45 seconds."</p><p>There was a pause then the chief engineer answered, "I can do it.”</p><p>"Good.”</p><p>"Torpedo's are launched" Harry announced and grabbed the front of his post, his eyes wide.</p><p>"Kathryn…." Chakotay called the captains name and she headed towards the command chair.</p><p>"Tom, now! All hands, brace for impact!" Kathryn looked over at her first officer who had not taken his eyes off of her as he was resisted the urge to take her hand. The ship lurched into motion and flew directly into the double explosion of their own torpedoes.</p><p>Smoke filled the bridge and the power was flickering. Conduit and piping spilled onto the floor as plasma gas ushered in under the smoke around the crew. Tom coughed and pulled himself off of the floor rubbing his shoulder where he had been struck by an arcing cable. His jacket torn and blood seeped from a gash. Harry lay across his dash unmoving, while Tuvok ignored a trickle of blood running down his face and was running diagnostics. Kathryn moaned as she rolled onto her back and then to her side. She winced as she pulled herself half up, propped on one arm, the other running her hand across face as she surveyed the bridge.</p><p>"Report!" She coughed. Her chest hurt and her ears were ringing. She was able to pull herself up to all fours when she noticed Chakotay's body laying at an unnatural angle half in and half out of his chair. "Chakotay!" She called, her voice raspy as she fought to pull in oxygen into her lungs and expel the plasma gas. She continued to cough and rushed to his side. He was unmoving and unresponsive. She hit her commbadge. "Janeway to sickbay, I need an emergency medical unit to the bridge now!" She yelled as she felt hands on her shoulders pulling her into a sitting position. Tom moved hair out of the captain's face and looked over a large burn that had traveled down from her temple down her neck.</p><p>"Don't move, captain" Tom said forcefully as he went to the first officer's side. Kathryn pulled her knees up and leaned against the back of her chair, her body wracked with a coughing fit. She rolled her head to the side and watch as Harry and Tom pulled the commanders body down to the floor, blood pooling from his mouth.</p><p>"Chakotay….." She whispered</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*finally getting into some good stuff!* R&amp;R Please! Warning- very mature content.</p><p>Kathryn opened her eyes and winced at the bright light in sick-bay. She was laying on a bio-bed and not happy about it. She allowed a hypospray to be pressed into her neck but held her hand on Kes's arm in protest to anything more. Her crew needed medical attention; Chakotay needed medical attention. The burning in her chest eased and she was able to take a deep breath. She slid off of the bio bed and walked passed various injured crewmen to the main bed where the doctor and Tom were working on Chakotay.</p><p>"How is he?" She asked, concern spreading over her face as her eyes flashed from the hologram and young pilot to Chakotay's seemingly lifeless body get poked and prodded, scanned and manipulated.</p><p>"His injuries are not life threatening, though he is lucky. His L6 vertebra was crushed and his nerves sustained extensive damage. I was able to repair it, but he will have a less than pleasant recovery." The doctor answered in his professional manner. Kathryn stared down at her first officer then back at the doctor. "I have kept him unconscious for his own safety, not to worry Captain, I will be able to wake him up once I finish my final repairs to his body." He glanced over to her face. "Your burns are extensive, you're going to need a dermal regenerator, why are you not on a bio-bed…. Kes?" The doctor couldn't or didn't hide the annoyance in his voice as he scanned the room for his assistant.</p><p>"I'm fine" she glared at the doctor as Kes appeared at her side.</p><p>"Captain, it will just take a moment" Kes said resting her hand on the captains arm. "I promise.” Kathryn looked down at the young blond and nodded her head. She was becoming more aware of the pain spreading in her face and neck and she knew she couldn't be a bad example for her crew. She moved back to her empty bio-bed and hoisted herself up causing another coughing fit. She watched as members of her crew were worked over for their injuries and other assisted with simple medical procedures. The lights flashed and blinked around sick-bay and Kathryn hoped they had seen the last of the energy eater. While Chakotay's idea had worked, it might have worked too well, they had almost destroyed their own ship. Kes appeared at her side again and put pressure on the captain's shoulder to help lower her down, Kathryn was going to protest but decided against it. The sooner she should get this done with the sooner she could get out of there. The buzz of the regenerator moved over her face and neck and her skin felt tight and warm. "You can sit up now, captain" Kes said gently. Kathryn sat up and ran a hand over her once scarred face. Kes pressed another hydrospray into her neck and touched the captain's knee.</p><p>"Thank you, Kes" She said honestly as she watched the young woman turn to assist another crew member. Her lungs flooded with oxygen and she regained some clarity. She ran her hand through her disheveled hair and looked over at the backs of the doctor and Tom who continued to work on her first officer. "Call me as soon as he wakes up, I will be on the bridge" Kathryn called to them and headed towards the door before either of the men could protest. Tom watched her leave as the doctor shook his head.</p><p>Janeway entered the bridge and scanned the room as she stepped over debris to her command chair. She brushed a hand over Tuvok's face concerned for the gash on this forehead. Harry was alert and moving but he looked pained as he continued to run diagnostics at his dash. Both men had refused to leave their posts and she was grateful for them. The main screen flashed with static and Kathryn tapped her comm.</p><p>"Janeway to Torres.”</p><p>"Torres here.”</p><p>"How did engineering fare?"</p><p>"It seems like deflectors and shields got the worst of it. The core is holding but it's not pretty. Don't expect to be going anywhere for a few hours at least.” Torres answered with more than a little irritation on her voice.</p><p>"Get on it. Janeway out.” Kathryn turned to look at Tuvok. </p><p>Without being questioned he started, "shields are at less than 10 percent, hull breaches on decks 3,4,6 and 8. Repair units have been activated. Multiples injuries, no casualties."</p><p>"And that thing?" She pointed past the main view screen.</p><p>"Unknown, but there are no lasting residual energy fluctuations anywhere near us. My best guess would be that it is gone or destroyed."</p><p>"Both of you, go to sick-bay, get fixed up, I've got the bridge. It doesn't seem like we are going anywhere for awhile." Janeway took a seat at the helm and began going over the dash sequences. Both Harry and Tuvok started to protest but were silenced by the back of the Captain's hand waving them off. "That's an order gentlemen." She moved from the helm to Harry’s post and conducted a ship wide scan for any energy fluctuations and then sat in her chair with sigh. A large piece of conduit snapped and fell a few feet behind her; she glanced at it and pressed her thumb and forefinger to the bridge of her nose. "Chakotay" She said out loud to herself for reasons even she didn't understand. She was worried about him, she always worried about her crew when they were injured or danger had befallen them. This was different. It was always different with Chakotay. She could have kicked herself for letting her emotions take control during a time like this, she knew better. But then again this is how you feel when you love someone and she loved Chakotay.</p><p>Janeway was interrupted in thought by the turbolift doors opening and Tom Paris cursing as he stumbled over the debris. He made his way past the captain, glancing at her with concern and took his post at the helm.</p><p>"He's okay" He told her before she could ask. "Chakotay? He was awake when I left, still in a bit of pain, and not too happy with the situation, but he's okay.” Kathryn let out an audible sigh of relief and Tom turned to look at her. "Are you okay, captain?"</p><p>"I'm fine, Tom" She said curtly as Tom mouthed the words he already knew were going to fall from his captain’s mouth. The woman could have her limbs torn from her body and she would be just fine.</p><p>"Torres to Bridge" B'Lanna's voice cut through the silence between Tom and Kathryn.</p><p>"Janeway here.”</p><p>"The core is back on, not 100 percent but we have impulse thrusters and can get to warp 5 if needed. It will take another day or so to repair the rest of the damage and get us running normally.”</p><p>"Thank you, B'Lanna" The captain was grateful for her endlessly working crew. "Tom, lets get away from this area, just in case. Back on course, warp 2.”</p><p>"Aye-aye captain" Tom said as he entered the coordinates and the ship hummed into motion. The lights and dashes blinked slightly but everything remained on. Eventually a repair team made their way onto the bridge, followed by a much healthier looking Harry and Tuvok who went straight to their stations and resumed their duties. Kathryn excused herself, left the bridge to Tuvok and went to check on her first officer.</p><p>Sick bay was almost completely cleared out and Kes and the Doctor where busying themselves with straitening up.</p><p>"Kathryn" Chakotay called to her from his biobed, suddenly self-conscious of his situation.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" She asked gently as she placed her hand on his warm bare torso.</p><p>"I’v had better days" he managed as he struggled a bit to get into a comfortable and less demining position but Kathryn held her hand to his should.</p><p>"You shouldn't move so much, the doctor said you are still going to be in some pain.”</p><p>He ignored her comment and looked at her face. "Are you okay? Last thing I remember is you being thrown from your chair… I tried to go after you but that conduit…."</p><p>"I'm okay, it seems you sustained the worst of it."</p><p>"And the ship?"</p><p>"It could have been worse. B'Lanna is working double time and we are almost at full capacity, though housekeeping may take a few days. Your idea worked… Whatever that entity was is gone".</p><p>"Kathryn?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"The doctor said I could go back to my quarters tonight… would you stay with me? I mean, you never know, in case something were to happen, it would be good to have…." He was interrupted by a playful nudge to his shoulder as the captain bit her lip to keep from smiling, it didn't work.</p><p>"Now that's one way to get what you want isn't it? Risking your life for the ship. How could I possibly turn down an offer like that?" Chakotay smiled at her, knowing he had won. He pulled himself off of the biobed and seemed steady on his feet, but Kathryn kept a firm grip on his arm. He hated being so weak in front of her, but he was grateful.</p><p>The doctor watched with an eyebrow cocked as the command team made their way to the doors. "Contact me if you have any more pain or develop a fever.”</p><p>"Yes sir" Chakotay answered and he walked with Kathryn to the turbo lift calling out his deck. Once moving he looked down at her. She was dirty and her hair out of place, her uniform had singe marks and he was certain her face and neck were slightly pink compared to the rest of her light skin. He gently cupped her chin in his hand and turned her face towards him and kissed her passionately. She thought about protesting but his mouth turned her to liquid and it was all she could do to contain herself. They exited the lift and made their way to the commander's quarters. The more they walked the stronger he seemed to become.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" She asked as they stopped at his door and he pressed his security code into the pad. The doors opened and he pulled Kathryn too him as soon as they where inside. "Chakotay…" She worried about his injuries and tried to pull back but he wasn't having any of it.</p><p>He ran his fingers up the back of her neck and into her hair, kissing her passionately. The made their way towards the bed and Kathryn pulled the commanders grey shirt over his head and ran her hands over his smooth chest. He moved his hands over her body and tugged at her jacket, pulling it off of her shoulders and dropping it to the floor. She kicked off her boots and fumbled with the zipper on his pants. Suddenly her feet were no longer on the floor, Chakotay and picked her up and swung her onto the bed. He pulled off her clothes gently but as quick as he could. He stood watching her naked body squirm on his bed as he removed the rest of his clothes. He slowly slid down on to the bed behind her, kissing her shoulders and running his hands over her hips and belly, she squirmed and pressed herself closer to him as she felt him grow and press against her back. A small moan escaped her lips as the overpowering sensation to be with him almost became too much. He stayed behind her, slipping her hand down between her legs and teased her, coaxing her wetness as he nibbled her shoulder. He gently rolled her over, ignoring the twinge of pain in his back. He grabbed her ankles and pushed her knees up and moved his body between her legs. He kissed her mouth, down her neck, to her breasts where he teased and sucked on her firm nipples. Her back arched as she physically pleaded for more and he moved his head down her belly, tugging at the skin of her hips with his teeth. He gently spread her legs farther apart and he started kissing at the meeting of her thighs. Her wetness and aroma were driving him mad and he thrust his mouth onto her, inserting his tongue and flicking it back out. Kathryn bit down on the back of her hand to muffle an escaped cry of pleasure. She rolled her hips up to meet his mouth and shuddered with pleasure. He slid a finger inside of her and her muscles immediately clamped down around him as he gently moved it inside and out of her. It was becoming too much for her to handle, she needed him, wanted more of him. She took his head in her hands and pulled him up to her face and let out a slight gasp as his finger slipped out of her. She moved her hands below his waist and toyed with him, rubbing him and pulling him harder and harder. A deep moan escaped his lips and his mouth explored hers wildly. She pulled him to her, guiding him to the wet ecstasy of her being. He moved his hips and inserted himself slowly inside of her. He could hardly control himself as the smooth inside folds of her body wrapped around him, pulsing and grabbing ahold and he moved his hips, slightly thrusting. Her hands dug into his back as she pressed her hips to meet his as she moved head back, eyes closed lips drawn muddling the sounds of her pleasure. Suddenly Kathryn tensed and her hands grasped at him, he grabbed hold of her wrists and pushed her arms above her head as an orgasm washed through her body. Her muscles contracted against him and her body shuddered uncontrollably. Just the sight of her pleasure made him cum and he arched his back as he filled her, pulsing with her, unable to contain the growl that escaped his lips. He body relaxed and he lowered himself down next to her, slowly pulling himself out followed by their own mixed fluids, another shudder wracked Kathryn's body as he wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>She was right. Things changed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost four weeks since the "energy eater" came and went, and it had been almost four weeks since Captain Janeway had slept in her own bed. The more she allowed herself to let go and accept the love she had for Chakotay, the better it felt. Chakotay had explained it to her as “natural.” She agreed, being with him was natural and it was where she was supposed to be.</p><p>Unfortunately, it was becoming harder to hide their relationship from the crew. Kathryn felt like a teenager sneaking out of Chakotay's quarters hoping no one would see her, to shower and change in her own home before reporting to the bridge. Fortunately for her, it was going to be easier than she anticipated.</p><p>"Stop, Tom! There is no way!" Harry sat across Tom Paris in the mess hall over late night drinks discussing the ever abundant ship drama.</p><p>"Oh come on! You’ve seen it, the way they look at each other, and how she touches him…" Tom retorted.</p><p>"The captain touches me…"</p><p>Tom laughed. "Not like that, Harry!"</p><p>"What are you too laughing about?" B'Elanna walked up and stole a chair from another table and sat down with the two young men. Harry looked suspiciously at Tom. "What? What's going on Tom?"</p><p>"Care to make it interesting?" Tom asked his two crew mates.</p><p>"No!" Harry answered.</p><p>"Come on, spill it" B'Elanna punched Tom in the shoulder. </p><p>He winced and rubbed his arm."Ow, okay okay. We think Janeway and Chakotay are a thing" Tom answered grinning.</p><p>"You do, I don't" Harry said looking from Tom to his drink.</p><p>"A thing?" The beautiful half Klingon snorted. "What are you talking about Tom?"</p><p>"Like I said, lets makes it interesting. I bet you a weeks worth of rations AND my holodeck time that by the end of the week it will be out in the open that the command team is a 'thing'"' Tom held out his hand and B'Elanna rolled her eyes.</p><p>"'I'm not betting you anything, Tom. Besides, its none of your business." She stole his drink and downed the last of it. "Don't you have anything better to do that gossip? Its like you're a school-yard girl.</p><p>"Yeah, Tom!" Harry agreed with the Klingon woman.</p><p>Tom looked at them both "Come on guys! Its just a bit of fun. Scared you'll lose"?</p><p>Harry watched B'Elanna's reaction before taking a sip of his own drink.</p><p>"By the end of the week?" She ask Tom</p><p>"End of the week" Tom rubbed his hands together. "Weeks worth of rations and holodeck time.”</p><p>"Alright, you're on" B'Elanna shook his hand harder than necessary and Tom gritted his teeth. Harry's mouth dropped.</p><p>"Really? I mean, okay, yeah, you're on! What about you Harry? You in?" Tom slapped the young ensign on the arm.</p><p>"I don't know…." He replied rubbing his arm.</p><p>"Come on!" B'Elanna and Tom said at the same time.</p><p>Later that day on the bridge everything was running smoothly, they were back on their way towards the Alpha Quadrant and it had been smooth sailing. Tom was at the helm with his head resting in his hand. He appreciated when things changed up: the monotony of nothingness was getting to him. Chakotay was at command while the captain worked in her ready room.</p><p>"Commander, I am picking up a small ship, maybe a shuttle, about a quarter of a light-year out…. It appears to be of Kazon origin" Tuvok broke the silence with the alarming news.</p><p>"What?" Chakotay jumped up. "Has it detected us?"</p><p>"Not yet, but they are heading straight in our direction"</p><p>"Shields up, captain to the bridge!" Chakotay ordered as he stood behind Tom. "On screen.”</p><p>"Report" Janeway made her way next to Chakotay and squinted her eyes as she tried to make out the tiny speck of a ship on the view screen. "Magnify.”</p><p>"It appears to be a Kazon shuttle of some sort" Chakotay told her.</p><p>"Life signs?"</p><p>"Just two captain." Harry answered. "Should I open a hailing frequency?"</p><p>Kathryn held up her hand. "Not yet. Tuvok, are we picking up any other ships in the vicinity?"</p><p>"No, it appears to be alone"</p><p>"Why would a Kazon shuttle be this far out alone?" Kathryn asked herself out loud. She looked at the small ship as it was magnified through the viewfinder. "Commander, does it look a little rough to you?"</p><p>"It looks like it has taken a few hits, that's for sure…."</p><p>He was cut off by Harry "Captain, we are being hailed"</p><p>"On screen"</p><p>An image of a young Kazon man appeared on the main screen, what looked like blood dripped from his mouth and his left eye was swollen and closed. "Please, help us!" The Kazon begged and then coughed.</p><p>"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager, as you must know our people are not on the friendliest of terms, why have you hailed us?" Kathryn clenched her jaw and waited for an answer.</p><p>"The borg…." Was all the man managed to say before the captain threw her hand up to announced the end of transmission and the picture disappeared from the screen.</p><p>She looked at Chakotay then to Tuvok. "What do you think?"</p><p>"It is highly unlikely that the Kazon have been attacked by the borg. We are no where near their sector of space, but we do not know if they have or will travel this way". Tuvok answered in his normal tone.</p><p>"Do you think it's a trap?" Chakotay looked back at Kathryn.</p><p>"I wouldn't put it past them" She answered as she moved to sit back in her chair and Chakotay followed suit. "On screen".</p><p>"Please!" The Kazon man begged as soon as the transmission reopened.</p><p>"I will beam you and your crewmate directly to our sickback. Stand by." Her hand went up again and the transmission ended. "Tuvok, get a security team and meet me in sickbay, you have the bridge commander." And with that she headed towards the door while Chakotay watched and sat back in his chair. He did not have a good feeling about this, but he trusted Kathryn.</p><p>A few minutes later the captain and 6 armed security guards including Tuvok waited while the two Kazons materialized in sickbay. The doctor and Kes went straight to work as the security guards watched. Kathryn wasted no time and went straight to the alien with the swollen eye.</p><p>"Tell me now, what happened to your ship? Where are you people?"</p><p>"I told you," The alien hissed. "The borg…. My crewman and I were the only ones able to escape."</p><p>"Doctor, can you tell anything by their injuries?"</p><p>"Nothing life threatening, a few bumps and bruises, nothing broken and nothing I can't handle." The doctor answered as he scanned the Kazon's odd cranium.</p><p>Kathryn wasn't buying it. "Keep me posted, doctor. I am going back to the bridge. Tuvok, keep a close eye on these two, I have a feeling they are not what they tell us." She turned to leave and the Kazon raised his head to watch her go then looked over towards his partner who was also watching. Kathryn entered the bridge and sat next to Chakotay. "Something's not right" she said to him and balled her fist under her chin staring past his head as she thought.</p><p>He nodded. " I agree. I had the shuttle brought it, we have people going over it now."</p><p>Kathryn nodded in acceptance and turned towards Harry. "Get full power to the tachyon beam and see if there is anything out there that our sensors are not picking up."</p><p>"Captain!" Harry called "There has been an explosion on deck 6, sickbay!"</p><p>Kathryn jumped out of her chair and hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Tuvok!" She called. "Janeway to the doctor"</p><p>"Captain!" Came the exasperated voice of the doctor. "The Kazon, they have attacked!"</p><p>Kathryn looked at Chakotay and grabbed her phaser and tapped her comm again. "Security report to deck 6!" She spun around to head to the turbo lift when harry called again.</p><p>"Two Kazon ships have just dropped out of warp, captain" His voice shook with anxiety.</p><p>Kathryn turned on her heel and faced the view screen. "Warp? Hail them" she said in an icy tone.</p><p>"Captain Janeway, I have heard so much about you" A Kazon man gave a grizzly smile though the view screen towards the captain.</p><p>"Your men have taken control of my sickbay under the false pretenses of injury during a borg attack. What you are doing will not end well. I will send your men back to you and you can be on your way!" Her voice rose and her arms crossed over her chest.</p><p>The Kazon laughed and shook his head. "Captain, I have no intention of leaving without you!" And with that the view screen went back to the stars and Chakotay moved to the captain's side in an instant.</p><p>"How the hell didn't we sense the two ships?" Kathryn yelled to no one in particular. She tapped her temple and fiddled with her commbadge. "We have to get to deck six".</p><p>"Captain, they are powering phasor beams….." Harry called out.</p><p>"Ready torpedoes Mr. Kim, full power" Suddenly the ship shuddered</p><p>"Torres to Janeway!" B'Elanna called across the comm.</p><p>Janeway's head snapped up as she answered "Janeway here"</p><p>"The Kazon shuttle just exploded, we are evacuating deck 12"</p><p>"Confirming massive hull breach in deck 12, three casualties" Harry announced.</p><p>The situation was becoming overwhelming and Kathryn was struggling to keep up with what was happening all over the ship. "Chakotay, get to deck 6, set phasors to kill".</p><p>Before Chakotay could protest Harry hit them with another slice of news. "Intruder alert, deck 12"</p><p>Kathryn felt as if all of the air had been knocked out of her chest. She looked at Chakotay. "How?" She asked and ran both hands over her face. "Lets get to deck 12! She headed towards the turbo lift, but before they got there it sprang open, spilling out Kazon and her crew alike. B'Elanna was struggling with one of the Kazan guards and he wretched her head back by her hair. Kathryn took a step forward, hand on her phasor.</p><p>"Drop it, captain" The voice of the leader she had spoken to over the hail now materialized from behind the crowed. "We haven't been properly introduced. I know your name. Do you know mine?" He asked with a disgusting smile creeping across his mouth.</p><p>She let her arm drop to her side and held her self up tall with her chin up. "I do not.”</p><p>"I am Drog'lo and this ship and everyone in it, including you are now under my command until I see fit. I am tired of the Kazon being defeated by such minuscule creatures; I have decided to handle this little issue myself. And from what I have heard, the all mighty Captain Janeway is somewhat of a mystical being, someone who has seemed to out smart and outfight every Kazon ship she has encountered. What say you?"</p><p>"Just doing my job. I have no intention of starting a war of any kind with anyone, my crew and I are just trying to make it home."</p><p>"If you are just going home, why do you continue to be such a nuisance to my people?"</p><p>"You people are continuously coming after my ship for its technology".</p><p>"And you wont share" Drog'lo snarled at her.</p><p>"What could you possibly want from such minuscule creatures?" She threw his words back at him.</p><p>He lunged for the captain and Chakotay pushed her aside and threw his arms up to deflect the Kazon's blow that was meant for her. Tom came up behind Chakotay and attacked the Kazon guard holding B'Lanna. Harry grabbed his phaser and was able to get a few shots in before he was over-taken by another member of the Kazon guard. Kathryn pushed her way up off of the floor and grabbed her own phaser, but before she had a chance to fire a shot she felt a blow to the lower part of her face. She went down hard clutching her jaw but pushed herself up just as fast only to meet the end of a Kazon rifle.</p><p>"Stop! Now!" Roared Drog'lo. "You will not win!" He held his own rifle to Chakotay's chest and Kathryn scanned her bridge. Harry was on his stomach with a Kazon boot at his back. Tom was bloodied and also on the end of a rifle. B'Elanna continued to squirm but was locked in the clutches of the Kazon. Kathryn breathed deeply and looked Drog'lo in the eyes. The situation was deteriorating quickly, she had to act fast or her crew would be in trouble.</p><p>"What do you want?" Kathryn asked the Kazon leader. "Lets not make this any more difficult than it had to be.”</p><p>"I told you, Captain Janeway, we are not leaving without you!" He dug his finger into her shoulder and she stepped back to keep from loosing her balance.</p><p>"I'm sorry but I can't go with you.”</p><p>"There is a bounty on your head Captain, and I intend to claim it." Drog'lo looked her over as her eyes widened and she looked towards Chokotay.</p><p>"What's the bounty, we can pay it!" Chakotay's anger was building, Kathryn could see it behind her eyes and she put a hand on his arm. Drog'lo laughed again.</p><p>"Fools, you can't buy me off. Now please, move aside before I kill you. We will be leaving your little ship, its worth nothing to the Kazon anymore. But we are taking Janeway with us." He held his rifle to Chakotay's forehead and motioned one of his guards to grab the captain. Chakotay pressed his head into the rifle as he watched the Kazon grab Kathryn and shove her in front of them as they made their way to the turbo lift.</p><p>"Kathryn…" Chakotay called after her before he was knocked in the face with the butt of the rifle.</p><p>"Kathryn?" Drog'lo questioned Chakotay as he peered down at him, blood dripping from his lip. "Do not attempt to follow my ship, do not attempt to call for back up, beam over, shoot us or anything else that might run through your mind. You have your ship. Move along.” He snarled and stepped over Chakotay following his group of men and the captain.</p><p>Kathryn turned in the turbo lift and looked at her crew then down to Chakotay. "Remember the truth, Chakotay," She said before Drogo'lo slammed his rifle into her chest and she crumpled to the floor. The doors of the turbo lift closed and Chakotay yelled as he charged them, slamming his body into them at full force.</p><p>Chakotay composed himself and turned to the crew. He tapped him comm as he watched a shuttle leave from under the ship and go towards on the Kazon's ships. "All hands, battle stations.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kathryn remained doubled over on the floor of the turbo-lift as she fought to bring oxygen back into her lungs. She knew the butt of Drog'lo's rifle had cracked at least two of her ribs and she gingerly brought her hand up to palpate the breaks. Tears sprang to her eyes and she swallowed hard to hold them back. A Kazon guard jerked her onto her feet when the turbo-lift reached the shuttle-bay. The pain under her left breast reverberated throughout her chest and back, but she would not allow herself to be dragged. She shook loose from the hand of the Kazon and pulled at her jacket, holding her head high as she walked in front of the guards, inwardly wincing at every breath. She watched as the Kazon loaded up one of Voyager's shuttles and she was ushered into the delta flyer with Drog'lo and two guards. Her thoughts raced as she watched everything around her; she had to get out of this situation, she needed a plan.</p><p>"Tom, stay after them, just make sure you stay out of their sensor range." Chakotay was grateful for small favors. The Kazon's did not have the technology Voyager possessed and it would be easy to follow the ship that held their captain without being detected. "Tuvok, what do you have?"</p><p>"Both ships carry at least 100 Kazon and one with one human, they are heavily armed but nothing we have not been able to defeat in the past. Our forward phasers should take out their shields at a relatively quick pace." Tuvok replied.</p><p>"We have to get her back first." Chakotay ran a hand through his hair and exhaled his worry. He sat in the command chair and watched the view screen. They had to get her back, fast. "Where are they heading? Back to Kazon territory?" He asked over his shoulder.</p><p>"It looks like they are heading to sector 576, there is a class L planet with an habitable moon." Harry offered.</p><p>Chakotay rubbed his face. "Once they’re in orbit we will take out the ship that's not carrying the captain, get the other's shields down then we can lock on her and beam her back before the vessel is destroyed." He thought about it for a second before adding. "Anyone else have any other ideas?"</p><p>"The Kazon have kidnapped our captain, I see no other option but to destroy them" Tuvok answered in his monotone voice.</p><p>Chakotay couldn't help but grin at the comment. "Agreed. Alright, it looks like we will be arriving in 13 hours. Tuvok, you have the bridge, I’ll be in engineering." Chakotay headed towards the turbo-lift and could feel the eyes of the bridge crew boring into his back, but he didn't turn around.</p><p>Kathryn watched Drog'lo from the chair he had shoved her into when they arrived on his ship. He was pacing back and forth yelling obnoxiously at anyone who was within range. "What's your plan, Drog'lo? Who are we meeting? When do you get paid, hm?" She asked him with a sneer.</p><p>He glared back at her. "Stop talking, woman. This has nothing to do with you!"</p><p>Kathryn tapped her forehead and then held up a finger "But it absolutely has everything to do with me. The bounty is on my head!" Her voice rose in frustration and it annoyed her that she allowed herself to get riled up. She knew Voyager was coming after her: Chakotay was coming.</p><p>"If you care so much, we are rendezvousing at LaVar 6 with another vessel that will be taking you to the bounty hunter. We get paid when he has you! Now shut your mouth before I shut it for you!" He sat in a chair near a comp dash and toyed with the controls.</p><p>Kathryn pulled off her jacket as Drog'lo watched out of the corner of his eye. She wrapped the jacket around her chest and tied it. With a deep breath she pulled the sleeves as hard as she could around her fractured ribs. She let out an audible gasp but continued to pull until it was tight. She ran a hand lightly over her left side and took a shaky breath. She leaned back into the chair and closed her eyes. 'Chakotay'. She couldn't get him out of her mind, the way he had looked at her when she entered the turbo-lift, the animalistic roar he bellowed when the doors to the lift closed. She had to get back to him and her crew.</p><p>B'Elanna stared at Chakotay, concern etched into her face. He was a strong man, if not the strongest she knew and he was crumbling right before her eyes. She had never seen him like this. "We are going to get her back, Chakotay. Your plan is simple but it works. We have beaten the Kazon before and there is nothing stopping us from doing it again.”</p><p>He looked back at her as he leaned against the railing of the warp core. "Its my fault.”</p><p>"You always say that." She was quick to answer.</p><p>"I brought that shuttle in, its explosion allowed the Kazon entry to the ship."</p><p>"You don't think the captain wouldn't have done the exact same thing? Chakotay, stop doing this to yourself." She looked down at her hands then back up to her friends face. "Is there something more?" She risked the question.</p><p>"More?" He stood up straight and looked at the half Klingon. "B'Lanna she is the captain of this ship. I have to take on at least two Kazon ships if not more to get her back!" His voice rose.</p><p>B'Lanna held her hands up in protest. "I know, I'm sorry." She chewed the inside of her lip and thought for a second. "The core is at peak, shields are at 100 percent phaser banks and torpedoes are ready. Not much can stop us now." She smiled a half smile in his direction as she ran her hands over her computer relaying the information to him.</p><p>"I love her," He announced unexpectedly.</p><p>B'Elanna swallowed hard and looked at his friend. "Kathryn?" He nodded and B'Elanna stood there unable to think of anything to say. Nothing needed to be said, he had said it and it felt good. He was pretty sure Kathryn was going to kill him for outing them, but he knew he could trust B'Elanna.</p><p>"We only have a few more hours until we reach the planet. You should try to get some rest."</p><p>B'Elanna cocked an eyebrow up at him and he smiled shaking his head. "Never mind.” He touched her shoulder as he walked out and she looked on after him, hurting for her friend and her crew and for herself. They all loved her.</p><p>"We're here" A voice brought Kathryn out of a restless doze and she looked over at the Kazon leader as he stood up and came towards her. "Ready?" She stood before he had a chance to grab her. She was stiff and sore from sitting so long and her chest throbbed with each breath she took. Drog'lo watched her face unknowingly contort in pain and he seized the opportunity to shove her through some automatic doors to what she could only assume was the ships bridge. "Are they here?" he asked his crew and he was greeted with a number of voices confirming. "Get into orbit. Send a message to Kainel's ship that we have the Starfleet captain." He looked over at her and she stared back at him unwavering.</p><p>"Sir, a third Kazon ship has fallen into orbit" Harry announced as they watched the Kazons circle the small planet through the main view screen.</p><p>"Tuvok?" Chakotay turned to look at the Vulcan.</p><p>"Smaller vessel, only a dozen Kazon aboard, heavily armed." He answered the commander. Chakotay watched the ships as he contemplated his next move. Their best bet was to take out the smaller more heavily armed ship, then the ship that wasn't holding the captain then move to the holding ship, fire until their shields dropped and they were able to beam her back. He went over his plan again in his head. It would work; he knew it would.</p><p>"Tom, take us in. All hands, battle stations." He sat in the command chair and said a silent prayer to the elders.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Smoke filled the bridge and a loud blaring horn reverberated throughout the ship. Kathryn moved her way to the back wall and watched the Kazon crew scramble, waiting for her chance. "Kainel's ship has been destroyed!" A Kazon yelled over the blaring and she saw fire flash through Drog'lo's eyes. Voyager was attacking, and by the looks of it, it wasn't going to take long for them to get her home. Drog'lo's ship shook as Voyager fired. Spark flew and Kazons ran to posts firing back with unrelenting force. She watched as the other Kazon ship fired at Voyager, pummeling her ship with torpedoes and phasers. Voyager soared and zipped between the two ships, firing and re-firing. The Kazon ship shuddered under her feet and she took the opportunity to spring into action. Drog'lo had his back turned to her and she lunged. He turned and grabbed her as she reached for his rifle, slamming her into the ground.</p><p>He stood over her, teeth bared. "You stupid bitch.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the doors and down a corridor. She scrambled to get to her feet gasping as pain shot through her chest as spots flashed before her eyes. He flung her to the floor in what she recognized to be the Delta Flyer. He went to the helm and the small ship sprang to life. Kathryn maneuvered herself to a sitting position leaning against the wall, her hands pressed to her chest, her breathing ragged and strained. She watched as the Kazon leader panicked with the controls and the small craft slammed into the bay of his own ship. After a few moments they were out and flying between torpedoes and phasers heading straight towards the moon of the L class planet. Too fast.</p><p>"The Delta Flyer has left the Kazon ship, one human and one Kazon on board" Tuvok announced over their own klaxxon alarm.</p><p>"Get a tractor beam on it now!" Chakotay yelled as the ship lurched with another hit from the Kazon vessels.</p><p>"I can't get a lock on it!" Harry yelled as he was thrown into his dash. Tuvok continued to fire at the two remaining Kazon vessels with admiring agility. Chakotay stood, legs spread holding his balance as he watched the battle from the view screen. He could see the small delta flyer spiraling down towards the planet. A huge flash of light and Voyager shuddered and sparks flew as Chakotay watched one of the Kazon ship explode. The force of the explosion pushed the three other ships off their course.</p><p>"Sir, the delta flyer is being sucked into the gravitational pull of the planet's moon!" Harry called as he tried to keep his balance as the ship shook.</p><p>"Tom?!" Chakotay yelled.</p><p>"I'm working on it, commander!" Tom's hands moved quickly over the helm as he maneuvered voyager towards the descending Delta Flyer.</p><p>Tuvok continued to fire at the remaining Kazon ship and it continued to fire back. "Shields down to 70 percent.”</p><p>Chakotay knew he had to destroy the Kazon vessel but panic rose in his chest as he watched the Delta Flyer spiral out of control towards the small moon. He knew they couldn't get a lock on it at the rate it was moving and it now being within the moons atmosphere. He was pushed out of his thoughts as the last Kazon shipped tore through the sky in front of them firing everything it had. Voyager held strong but she was taking a beating.</p><p>"I…I lost the flyer…" Harry's voice shook as he called to the commander. Tom spun and looked back at the bridge crew.</p><p>"Tuvok, you have the bridge, destroy that damn ship! I am going to the surface.” Chakotay charged out of the bridge.</p><p>"Warning! Warning! Full system failure in 4 minutes. Warning!" The Delta Flyers computer called Kathryn awake. She was on her back and it took a few moments for her to recall what happened. She pushed herself into a sitting position and groaned as her ribs protested. She held her hand to her side. A warm liquid dripped down the side of her face and she knew from the pounding of her head she had a pretty nasty gash. She coughed painfully as smoke surrounded her and she eased herself to her feet using a destroyed dash for support. She made her way towards the helm, her eyes burned from the smoke but she could make out Drog'lo's body sprawled across the pilot chair, blood dripping from his ear, his eyes and mouth open. She snatched his rifle and jabbed him in the chest. "Warning! Warning! Full system failure in two minutes. Warning!" The computer called overhead. Kathryn jabbed the Kazon one more time; satisfied he was dead she made her way out onto the planet through a large gash in the side of the flyer grabbing a fallen med kit on her way out.</p><p>The hot sun was both welcoming and uncomfortable. She walked a few yards shielding her eyes to the blaze and watched as pieces of destroyed Kazon ship streaked the sky. She saw a jut of boulders a few paces ahead and decided to make her way towards them. Suddenly the muscles in her back seized up and her abdomen clenched. She fell to one knee gasping and clutching at her stomach. The pain disappeared as quickly as it came. She pushed herself up with her free hand wiping the dust on her pants and drew in a deep breath wincing at the pain in her ribs. She continued to the rocks only a few feet away when the pain ripped through her lower back again this time she dropped to her knees doubling over herself and she pressed her head into the med kit. When the pain passed she opened the kit and pulled out a medical tricorder and began scanning her torso. She read the results and her heart sank in realization of what was happening to her body. Another pain clawed at her back but she worked through it, digging through the med-kit she pulled out a hyprospray and twisted it into its injector. She injected it into her neck and took a deep breath. The pain in her ribs and subsided and the throbbing of her head receded into a dull ache. She continued to scan her abdomen, never taking her eyes off of the tricorder readings. Her lips pursed and jaw clenched as she prayed silently for the tiny life inside of her that was slowly being sucked away.</p><p>Chakotay and three security officers stood in the transport room. An ensign at the dash tapped in coordinates. "One human life sign, approximately 20 yards from the crash site. No other life signs sir."</p><p>"Beam us in as close as you can" Chakotay ordered as the men boarded the transport bay. "Energize.” They reformed a few feet from the flyer and Chakotay nodded in its direction and the securities officers boarded through the tear in the hull. He pulled out his tricorder and scanned the area, it beeped in the direction of life signs and he started making is way towards the signal. He looked up and saw the captain siting at the base of some rocks and he ran towards her. He slid down next to her, grabbing her shoulders with his strong hands. "Kathryn!" He said her name as his panic subsided. She was awake and alert.</p><p>"Chakotay… sick bay. Now!" She looked into his eyes with desperation. He stared at her as he tapped his commbadge.</p><p>"Chakotay to sickbay".</p><p>"Yes commander?" The doctor answered.</p><p>"Beam the captain and I straight to sickbay!" He called as he took Kathryn's Hand, never taking his eyes off of hers as they dematerialized.</p><p>They rematerialized on the floor of sickbay, both Kes and the doctor rushing to their sides. Chakotay helped pull the captain up and she grabbed onto his arm, her mouth open, eyes wide as her abdomen tightened in pain. The doctor ran his medical tricorder over the captain and Chakotay watched as his face tightened in concern. "Get her onto the bio-bed".</p><p>Chakotay helped Kathryn to the bed as he watched the doctor type out instructions to the medical replicator. Kes pressed a hydrospray into her neck and touched her hand lightly in comfort. Chakotay held her hand and touched her face.</p><p>"You're going to be okay" He assured her, having no idea if that was the truth or not. Kathryn bit her lip and turned her head from him, unable to articulate the fear she was experiencing for a life she didn't even know existed until a half hour ago.</p><p>The doctor came to her side and pressed another hydrospray straight into the captain's abdomen. Instantly her body relaxed and she closed her eyes letting out a deep breath. Chakotay questioned the doctor with his eyes.</p><p>"Captain?" The doctor asked and touched her arm. Kathryn opened her eyes and looked from the Chakotay to the doctor and nodded her head letting her eyes close again. "The captain was in the early stages of a miscarriage," He told Chakotay with a bit of remorse in his voice. Chakotay stared; his words lost as he watched Kathryn's eyes tighten at what the doctor just said. "Its still early, but we may have caught it in time. There is no cervical dilation and I was able to detect a fetal heart tone.” He ran a regenerator over the captain's chest and head, slowly healing her fractured ribs  Chakotay ran his thumb over her fingers and watched her face as he processed the information that was just given to him.</p><p>Within the last 24 hours he had lost Kathryn to the Kazon, admitted his love for her to B'Lanna, watched her crash to the surface of a planet, find out he was going to be a father and that he might lose his child. His mind raced and his heart broke for her. He watched the doctor finish working as he pulled a blue medical blanket over the captain. "I will leave you two alone" The doctor said as he and Kes resided to the doctors office.</p><p>"Chakotay" She was the first to speak. She turned her head to look at him and her eyes glistened with emotion as she watched his face. "I didn't know…"</p><p>"I know" He reassured her. "Its going to be okay, Kathryn, the doctor said it was early, the baby is going to be okay."</p><p>Captain Janeway left out a breath at the word "baby.” It was the first time the word had been used in reference to the life inside of her.</p><p>"Baby" She repeated to herself and gingerly touched her abdomen with the tips on her fingers. She turned to look at Chakotay again. A small smile formed on his lips.</p><p>"It's going to be okay" He reassured her again and he took her hand in his and kissed the tops of her fingers. She nodded and closed her eyes, pressing her head back into the pillow. She wanted the baby to be okay. A baby she hadn't known existed until recently but now she was terrified for its well-being. She had always wanted children, the Delta Quadrant was not the first place she would have picked to bring forth new life, but it was happening. And it was happening with Chakotay. A wave a panic crept into her chest when the realization hit her again. A baby. She was the captain of a starship that was lost in space. She was responsible for almost one hundred lives and now she was going to bring a baby into the middle of it? She forced the panic back and decided to worry about it later when… if the situation arose.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later Captain Janeway finally had the all clear from the doctor to go back to her quarters. Relief spread across her face and the doctor was pleased that she had not protested much over the last two days, as he would have expected.</p><p>You're not back on duty until next week!" He quipped towards her as she tied her boots. And I want you back here in three days to make sure everything is still okay…." He continued to ramble and Janeway nodded her head in agreement. She didn't mind being in sickbay if it was for the good of her unborn child but now that everything was okay she couldn't get out of there fast enough. She stood up and put her hand on the doctor's shoulder interrupting the ever- coming droll of instructions.</p><p>"Thank you, Doctor. I understand" She forced a smile and then realized something before she turned to go. "Uh, Doctor, can we please keep this between us?' She looked at Kes who returned a look of understanding and trust and the Captain smiled at the young woman.</p><p>"I would never think of breaking patient doctor protocol!" The doctor was taken aback.</p><p>Kathryn sighed and nodded again. "Thank you. I will see you next week" and she turned to leave.</p><p>'Three days!" The doctor called back to her.</p><p>Janeway waved the back of her hand towards him as she rounded the corner. It felt good to be back in halls of the ship. She had felt cramped and restless in sickbay as her pain diminished. She entered the turbolift. "Bridge" She called out. And she leaned her hip against the lift railing as it hummed to its destination. The double doors opened at Kathryn stopped to watch her bridge crew. Tom and Harry were laughing about who knows what, Tuvok worked with dedication at his station and Chakotay sat in the command chair his back towards her.</p><p>Tuvok was the first to notice her standing there and before he could announce her presence she held a finger to her lips and smiled at her old friend. She made her way to the front when Harry saw her.</p><p>"Captain on the bridge!" He stood up straight and called out.</p><p>Janeway shook her head and chuckled as Chakotay stood and turned to her. Tom spun around in his chair and nodded in her direction. "As you were everyone. I am not back on duty until next week.”</p><p>She squeezed Chakotay's arm as he waited for her to take her seat. He sat down in his own chair and watched her face. She looked good he thought to himself. Her hair was pulled back, long down her shoulders and her eyes bright. She looked energized. She looked happy. "I'm just here for a visit" She announced.</p><p>"How are you doing?" Tom asked hopefully.</p><p>"Much better, thank you." She didn't offer any more information but was grateful for his thoughtfulness. She wasn't sure what the crew had been told but everyone had to know that Chakotay didn't leave her side when he wasn't on duty, which may or may not have been surprising to some. "What have I missed?" she asked the entire bridge.</p><p>"We are trying not to jinx it, but so far everything has been quiet. Repairs are steady and almost done. The core took quite a beating but I don't expect it to hold us up much longer. Tom has been working on the Delta Flyer every chance he gets. I think it's salvageable." Chakotay answered.</p><p>Kathryn leaned back into her chair and crossed her legs. She was happy to be back on the bridge. The past few days had been a painful blur that she rather not go through again for as long as she could. She knew though, unfortunately, that with the territory comes the consequence and she knew after the past few years in the Delta Quadrant that she had to be ready for anything.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Later that day after a long bath and an even longer nap Kathryn sat on her couch wrapped in an old throw from back home reading a novel she had read dozens of times before. Her eyes glided across the pages but she wasn't absorbing much of it, her mind was elsewhere. The chime to her quarters pulled her out of deep thought and she called to allow entry.</p><p>Chakotay walked in, fresh off the bridge. He smiled at her and took his regular spot across from her in the leather chair. "Glad to be home?.”</p><p>"Mmhmm" She nodded and yawned as she pulled her legs out from under herself and stretched.</p><p>"Are you hungry?"</p><p>She thought about it for a moment. "Yes, very.”</p><p>"Would you like to see what Neelix has for dinner tonight?"</p><p>She smiled up at him as he took her hand as she got up from the couch. He pulled her to him and held her tight. The thought of losing her had been unbearable, and here she was healthy and in front of him, carrying a tiny life they had created together. She burrowed into his chest letting the comfort of being in his arms envelope her. She could have stayed that way all night but her stomach rumbled and turned and she remembered how hungry she was. She hoped Neelix had made something palatable for dinner.</p><p>They walked silently towards the mess hall, occasionally stopping to shake a few crewmembers hands that had offered their appreciation for her sacrifices. The doors to the mess hall opened and they were flooded with the many conversations of the crew, all broken up and spread out amongst each other. Some took notice of their captain and nodded their respects. Others were oblivious and engulfed in conversation and their dinner. Kathryn followed Chakotay to a small clear table in the back and they both sat down. Tom, Harry and B'Elanna watched the command team from a few tables away.</p><p>Within moments their Talaxian chef and moral officer was at their side. He grabbed the captain's hand and held it tight. "Oh captain, it's so good to see you! We have all been so worried! How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Are you okay? Would you like something special? How about some coffee? I can replicate the good stuff for you? Oh I am just so happy to see you" Neelix rambled on as Janeway starred back at him unable to squeeze in any reply except for a quick nod at the mention of coffee. And as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared back to the kitchen to prepare them something to eat. Kathryn laughed and shook her head as she watched him go.</p><p>"Coffee?" Chakotay asked with a raised eyebrow. Kathryn looked at him confused. Of course coffee, it had been two days since she had had any. She looked at his face as he nodded in the direction of her abdomen. Her eyes widened in remembrance.</p><p>"No coffee?" She asked quietly as the realization took effect. "No coffee". She bit her lip and glared at Chakotay. At that moment, Neelix reappeared with two plates and a mug full of deliciously smelling black coffee.</p><p>She held her hand up. "No coffee tonight, Neelix, thank you".</p><p>Neelix took a surprised step back. "Are you sure?" He asked in concern and he placed their two plates in front of them. She nodded and pursed her lips in annoyance over the situation. "Yes ma'am". He turned and took the coffee with him. Kathryn stared after him mournfully.</p><p>Tom and Harry looked at each other in shock as they watched the captain refuse coffee and they whispered amongst themselves from a few tables away. They both yelped as the half Klingon wacked them both in the chest. "Mind your own business," B'Elanna growled.</p><p>"You owe me!" Tom announced sitting proudly back in his chair as he folded his arms over his chest.</p><p>"Refusing coffee doesn't prove anything" She retorted.</p><p>"Yeah, but that might." Harry added as Tom nodded towards the table where their two-command officer's sat. Kathryn and unconsciously taken Chakotay's hand from across the table and held it as they ate in silence. Harry starred and B'Elanna kicked him from under the table. "Pay up" Tom said as he held out his hand.</p><p>B'Elanna shook her head and smiled, she knew she had lost, but she didn't have to admit that she knew she had lost four days ago. "You'll get it," she answered with forced annoyance in her voice. Tom looked pretty proud of himself.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay stayed with Kathryn that night and she was grateful for his presence and her bed. Two nights on a bio-bed was rough and she sighed as she stretched her body then curled into Chakotay's chest. She pressed herself closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her, breathing her in as he kissed her head and nuzzled his face into her hair. They stayed like that unmoving and silent for a few minutes until suddenly Kathryn pulled herself away and wretched the covers off of her.</p><p>"Kathryn?"</p><p>"Its hot" she replied as she swung her leg off the side of the bed and turned her head towards him.</p><p>"You do have your own little heater" He laughed and reached for her abdomen. She flinched and pulled back slightly before catching herself. He looked at her with concern in his eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry," She breathed out. "I am still coming to terms with this. It still doesn't seem real and the more I think about it the more anxious I become."</p><p>"I would think that's normal. Most women feel anxious in the beginning of pregnancy. You're carrying a life inside of you."</p><p>"Most women are not in command of a starship lost 70 years from home, Chakotay" She retorted.</p><p>"You have only been aware of the baby for a few days, it's going to take some adjusting before you're able to accept it and be comfortable with it." He tried to reassure her but he could tell she was agitated.</p><p>She pulled the sheet up over herself and starred up at the stars from her sky window. "How are we going to pull this one off?" She asked him.</p><p>"How do you pull anything off? You just do, and you do a damn good job of it.” The crew respects you and looks up to you and they will support you. Just like I support you.”</p><p>She wasn't convinced but reached across herself and lay and arm on Chakotay's chest. "I really just want a cup of coffee," She announced with a tone of mock misery in her voice. He laughed and kissed her on the mouth. She melted back into the bed and wrapped her hands around his neck. His large tan hand found its way to her belly where it rested and this time, she didn't protest.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Captain Janeway lay on the biobed as the doctor hovered around her. Kes stood at her side with a relaxed grin on her face. "Everything looks great, Captain" She cooed in her gentle voice as she rested a hand on top of the captain's.</p><p>Kathryn bit the inside of her bottom lip and forced a smile. It was a surreal experience, listening to the fluttering of a tiny heartbeat coming from within her. She held her shirt under her breasts and glanced down at her belly as the doctor moved his tricorder back and forth.</p><p>"A healthy six week old fetus, captain!" He expressed joyfully. "Would you like to see what your baby looks like?"</p><p>The question shocked her. She hadn't thought about actually being able to see the baby. The doctor toyed with a screen and pressed a small metallic device to her lower abdomen. Slowly a soft photo of a tiny pink blob appeared on the screen. Kathryn stared; her mouth pressed tightly, her steely blue eyes focused as her eyebrows furrowed. Before she had a chance to say anything the sickbay doors opened and Tom Paris jogged in. "Hey Doc, I got those..." He looked up and his mouth clamped shut. The captain scrambled to pull down her shirt and get to her feet consequently shoving the doctor at the same time.</p><p>Tom looked around the room trying to focus on anything but the captain and what he had just seen. "Uhh… sorry, I was just dropping off…. I didn't see anything" Tom stuttered and slowly moved backwards towards the door.</p><p>Kathryn held up her hands and sighed deeply. "At ease Mr. Paris. People are going to start finding out soon enough" She rubbed her forehead and looked up at her helmsmen.</p><p>"Know what? What? I didn't see anything" He backtracked stumbling over his words.</p><p>"Come on Tom…" She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Yes you saw what you think you saw.</p><p>"Congratulations?" Tom asked with an eyebrow raised.</p><p>"Thank you" Captain Janeway replied. "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything to the crew just yet, at least until Chakotay and I have had a chance to inform the crew ourselves."</p><p>"Of course, captain, I wouldn't dream of it, your secret is safe with me!"</p><p>She gave him a look and he put his hands behind his back and nodded his head.</p><p>"Thank you, Mr. Paris. Doctor, when can I go back on duty?"</p><p>The doctor stared at her still slightly annoyed with the shove he had received earlier but he knew not to push it with the captain when it came to her ship. He sighed. "You're in excellent condition. I don't see what's stopping you from starting back. Just try not to over do it…." He wasn't able to finish before Janeway was starting out the door. She gave Tom a look as she passed him and he sidestepped away from her.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Captain on the bridge!" Harry announced as Captain Janeway made her way through the turbo lift doors and down to the command center. Chakotay stood up and moved a seat over and watched her as she sat down.</p><p>She gave him a look and crossed her legs. "I have been cleared for duty." She said in a matter of fact tone.</p><p>Chakotay studied her face. "How did it go?"</p><p>Kathryn clenched her jaw in annoyance. She wasn't particularly fond of discussing personal matters on the bridge but Chakotay did have a right to know. "Everything is fine." She forced a smile his way and watched as he visibly relaxed into his chair.</p><p>He nodded. "Good." And focused his attention to his side computer.</p><p>Kathryn tapped her foot and stared at the back of the ensign's head that was piloting the ship. She pulled her personal computer towards her and ran her hands over the controls reading the ship log but her wasn't able to concentrate. Chakotay turned and watched her as she fiddled with her computer then hit the side of it in frustration. "I'll be in my ready room" She snapped and stalked out of the bridge.</p><p>Chakotay looked back at Tuvok who gave him an uninformative quizzical look. "You have the bridge" he said flatly to the Vulcan as he followed the captain into her ready room.</p><p>"Coffee. Black" The captain barked and she pulled her mug out of the replicator and took a sip. The chime on her door rang and she immediately tensed at the sound. "Come.”</p><p>Chakotay walked in and stopped at the door arms crossed. "Are you okay?"</p><p>She set her mug on her desk and walked to the upper lever window, reaching across her chest and rubbed a knot on her neck. Chakotay followed. "Tom knows."</p><p>"Knows what?"</p><p>"About the baby, he came into sickbay during my appointment." She rubbed her temples and stared out into the vastness.</p><p>"Might not be a bad thing, people are going to know sooner or later."</p><p>"Well I would rather it be later" She snapped.</p><p>"Kathryn…." He put his hand on the small of her back and led her to her office couch. "What can I do?"</p><p>She looked at him. "Nothing.” She took a deep breath. "I need to figure this out for myself.” He starred back at her not comprehending. "I have to accept this, Chakotay. First we were on New Earth and it was wonderful. Then we come back to the ship, 5 weeks, that's it, I was feeling good, and comfortable like it was the right thing. Now this!"</p><p>"This? Kathryn, if you're referring to our child…."</p><p>"I am, Chakotay. I wasn't prepared for any of this."</p><p>"Sometimes we are thrown into a situation not because we want to, but because it is what is meant for us. An eagle will fly in the wind but never come crashing down when an updraft throws it off course. They use the wind to their advantage and soar. You're in the middle on an updraft Kathryn. Are you really going to allow yourself to come crashing down?"</p><p>"No" She said quietly, pulling her eyes away from him.</p><p>"I didn't think so.”</p><p>She took a deep breath and looked back at him. "I'm scared, Chakotay. I have fought violent alien species, fought off the Borg, and I have never been this afraid.” The admittance of fear made her shoulders sag.</p><p>"Fear is what drives us to overcome. There is nothing that I have not seen you overcome. This will be the best yet."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Breaking the news to the crew had been easier than she had expected. Everyone was extremely gracious and even excited for the command team. She was adamant that nothing would change regarding her leadership of the crew and her determination of bringing the ship home and so far, their attitudes towards her had remained the same. She was grateful. It took a few weeks of convincing but Chakotay was able to coax Kathryn into allowing him to move in with her. Her alone time was something she relished and the proposition of giving it up was a hard one. She knew it was only a matter of time but she finally accepted. Their child was just about to hit the 10-week mark and for the first time, Kathryn was starting to feel it.</p><p>xxx</p><p>"Chakotay" Kathryn moaned his name as she thrust her hips towards his. His mouth kissing and gnawing on her neck and down her chest. She grabbed the sheets with both hands and pressed her hands into the bed. Her pregnancy had made her body extremely sensitive and every touch from Chakotay radiated through her. Chakotay slowed and watched the captain squirm in anticipation and thirst for her release. He pulled out of her and she tore her fingernails down his back in frustration. He groaned and pressed his mouth to her breasts and made his way down to her belly where the tiniest of roundness was present. He kissed her there and made his way down between her legs. He teased her with his tongue and looked up to watch her face, her cheeks flushed and beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She was wet and engorged ready to accept him again, but he continued to tease. He lifted his head up and pressed her legs together rolling her to her side. She started to protest when he lay down beside her but stopped when his hand came to her from behind and he guided himself back inside of her. Her body clamped down around him and he ground his hips into hers as she panted and grasped at the bed. He rubbed her shoulders and down her back, kissing her neck and inhaling the sent of her hair. He knew he was about to loose control and he moved his hips faster, pressing himself deeper into Kathryn's body, pulling for her release. She moaned and buried her face into the bed as she came around him, her body pulsating and tightening. He exploded in a deep thrust, holding it there, feeling her body around him. They laid there unmoving breathing deeply, their chest’s moving in tandem as their bodies calmed down. Kathryn moved her arm behind her and rubbed Chakotay' s hips. He smiled and kissed her shoulder as he pulled himself out of her. A gasp escaped her lips and her body shuddered uncontrollably with an orgasmic aftershock.</p><p>Exhaustion overcame her and she snuggled down deep into Chakotay as he pulled the blankets up around them. He wrapped his arm around her and within minutes her breathing evened out and he knew she had fallen asleep. He lay there entwined with her body and thanked the spirits for allowing him to love such a woman. He kissed her shoulder and closed his eyes l.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The next morning Chakotay woke without Kathryn in his arms. He stretched and rubbed his face and propped himself up on his elbows. He could here water running and steam billowed from the bathroom. He got up and replicated some herbal tea and sipped on it as he kicked their clothes they had strewn about into a pile. Kathryn came out wrapped in a towel, her hair wet and dripping around her shoulders. She smiled at him when suddenly her face dropped and her hand went to her head, her other hand outstretched for the bed. Chakotay put down his tea and rushed to her side, sitting her on the bed.</p><p>"Kathryn!"</p><p>"I'm okay. Just… dizzy" She breathed as she held her head in her hands. "I think my shower was too hot, that's all" She reassured him. He rubbed her back and got up to grab another towel that he used on her damp hair. He watched her for a few moments as she breathed deeply, she opened an eye towards him and gave him a playful nudge. "I'm fine, really Chakotay."</p><p>He wasn't completely convinced. "We are due on the bridge in an hour, lay here for a little bit, okay?"</p><p>She nodded and slummed over onto her side and buried her face into her pillow, the room spinning around her.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>An hour later they sat in the debriefing room with the senior officers discussing a phenomenon that they had no option but to encounter.</p><p>"An Energy field?" Kathryn asked Tuvok.</p><p>"That would be one way to describe it." He answered.</p><p>"It spans farther than our sensors can locate, but it's moving in waves, like a sheet drying in the wind. It would take months to go around it in any direction." Harry confirmed.</p><p>"And if we go through it?" Chakotay broke his silence. Kathryn looked at him and waited for an answer from her crew.</p><p>"Unknown." Tuvok said blatantly. "Our shields should be able to withstand the energy flux but for how long is questionable. From what our scanners show it will take us four weeks to get to the other side at warp 4."</p><p>Kathryn drummed her fingers on the table. "B'Elanna, are we equipped to run warp for two solid weeks at full shields?"</p><p>The young half-Klingon threw up her hands. "I can't answer that captain. After our last energy crises we were almost dead in the water. Sometimes the shields are stable, but other times the energy is just too powerful and I can't hold both steady. But, if you want my opinion, I say we go in at top warp for as long as we can, by the time our shields start to fail we can rely on impulse control and divert energy to maximize the shields. We should make it to the other side in less than three weeks. I have some back up dilithium that should get us through a tight spot if needed."</p><p>"Sounds like a plan to me, dismissed." The senior officers made their way for the door as Kathryn stood up. As soon as she did the room started spinning and she sat back down. Chakotay was at her side instantly. "Its okay" She started and stood back up, her stomach turning at the movement. "I'll be fine". And she made her way out of the briefing room to the bridge as Chakotay followed never beyond an arms reach. "How long until we hit the field?"</p><p>"Thirty minutes" Tom announced.</p><p>She took her seat and closed her eyes for a few seconds as she ran a hand over her lower abdomen. "Take us in, Mr. Paris. Stand up yellow alert."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week into the energy field and the ship seemed to be handling it all right at a steady warp 4 with full shields. It was similar to the "energy eater" they had encountered months before, but this time they were able to compensate for loss they withstood at every wave. The ship rocked steadily throughout the journey and the power was constantly blinking due to the fluctuations. Everyone seemed to be handling the constant motion and blinking except Kathryn Janeway.</p><p>Chakotay sat on the bridge drumming his finger on the panel. There had been nothing new to report for hours. At one point Tom started spinning in his chair to see how long it took him to get dizzy. Harry was yawning and Tuvok hadn't said a word, which really wasn't that unusual. He was worried about Kathryn, she had opted out of working for the day and that was so unlike her that he tried to convince her to go to sickbay. He wasn't surprised when she protested and he left her in their bed with strict instructions to call if she needed anything. So far he hadn't heard a sound and decided he needed to go check on her. He left the bridge to Tuvok and made his way towards their quarters. He keyed his way in to a dark room and it took him a few moments to get his bearings. In the dim light of the energy field from the windows he could see Kathryn's form on the bed. He quietly walked over and sat down nest to her. She groaned and rolled to her back.</p><p>"How long has it been?" She moaned and threw her arm over her face.</p><p>"Four hours, give or take. Are you feeling any better?"</p><p>She moved her arm long enough to shoot him a look then moved her arm to cover her face again.</p><p>Chakotay tapped him commbadge. "Chakotay to the Doctor".</p><p>"What can I do for you commander?" The doctor asked cheerfully.</p><p>Kathryn flung her arm off her face and scrambled to sit up. "No, Chakotay, I'm okay, really." She held her hands up in protest.</p><p>Chakotay took ahold of both of her hands in him and shook his head. "Doctor, can you replicate a hyprospray for the captain's…. space sickness?"</p><p>Kathryn rolled her eyes and pulled her hands out of his, laying back down on her side.</p><p>"Certainly commander, I will have it sent to your replicator".</p><p>"Thank you." He rubbed Kathryn's hip as he got up to retrieve the hyprospray. She was sitting up when he came back and he gently pressed it to her neck.</p><p>She let out an audible sigh of relief, closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headboard. "Thank you.” Suddenly the room lit up in red and the klaxxon alarm sounded. Kathryn shot straight up and started pulling on her uniform.</p><p>"Kathryn, wait." Chakotay tried to slow her down but she was already tugging on her boots.</p><p>"Captain to the bridge" Tuvok called over the comm.</p><p>The ship rumbled and a green light flashed through the windows. "I'm fine, Chakotay, I'm still the captain!" She said a bit more harshly than she had intended. Chakotay watched her pull her hair up as they both started for the door.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The command team stared straight ahead on the turbolift and didn't say a word. Chakotay was clearly irritated by the situation as he watched Kathryn blow a breath through her lips, close her eyes, and run a hand over her abdomen. As soon as the doors opened she put on her game face and marched onto the bridge with Chakotay closely behind her.</p><p>"Report" She snapped as she took her position in the command chair and watched Chakotay do the same.</p><p>"Well, we figured out what it is” Tom started.</p><p>"What, what is, Mr. Paris?"</p><p>"The energy field seems to be some sort of a nest…." Harry added.</p><p>"A nest of what?" Chakotay asked annoyed at the vagueness.</p><p>"Energy suckers" Tom answered with a grim look on his face.</p><p>"They are not as powerful as before but they are boring into our shields. Shields are holding but deck 4, 9, and 12 have point of impact where shields are being neutralized." Tuvok informed the command team.</p><p>"They are digging their way in, making a tunnel though our shields." Kathryn said to herself. "Tom, can we go to warp 8 and make it through this field before the end of the week?"</p><p>"We can go to warp, but I am not sure we can stay there for that long…" Tom trailed off.</p><p>"Shields are holding at 93 percent, the three decks with shield weakness are being evacuated." Tuvok spoke up.</p><p>"Harry, shift extra power to the shields of those three decks but watch for any other signs of dampening in other areas." The captain ordered.</p><p>Chakotay flexed his fingers then quipped "Captain, if we give them more power wont they continue to latch on? Won't it make us more appealing?"</p><p>Kathryn chewed her lip as she mulled over what the commander had just said. "I supposed you're right commander." She pursed her lips and rubbed her forehead. "I have an idea, but Tuvok, you're not going to like it." She stood up in the middle of the bridge and watched the view screen.</p><p>"Liking or not liking your ideas is irrelevant." Tuvok said back to her.</p><p>She gave him a small smile and continued. "Tom, I want you to go to full warp, we will bring shields up and stay there for as long as we can, and we should be able to hold out for 5 for seven days. Right when we loose warp and shields we cut power to the ship and coast our way out."</p><p>"Captain…." Tuvok started.</p><p>"I know, I told you, you wouldn't like it. If anyone has any other suggestions I am all ears."</p><p>"That would leave us dead in the water for more than a week" Chakotay voiced his concerns.</p><p>"A week gives us enough time to revamp the core and shields which should give us another big burst to get through if needed."</p><p>"And if we can't loose the suckers?" Harry asked tentatively.</p><p>Kathryn shot the young engisn a look "Not to worry Mr. Kim, we have lost them before."</p><p>"But risking what?" Chakotay asked</p><p>"Everything, if it mean's getting us out of here, commander." I am not going to sit around and watch my ship get eaten by some unknown force. We have fought them off before we can do it again. Lets cross that bridge when we come to it. You have the bridge I will be in engineering. Once I talk with B'Elanna we will decide when the best time to jump to high warp will be. I will give the word." And with that Captain Janeway exited the bridge with her crew watching.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"You have to be kidding me!" B'Elanna yelled as she tore through a plasma duct under the warp core.</p><p>"Does it look like I am joking, lieutenant?" The captain bent down to look at the half Klingon.</p><p>B'Elanna pulled her self up and slammed a hand on to an engineering dash. "Its impossible! You want to stay at warp 8 with full shields for a week? And then, this is where you get me, you want to cut down power to everything, so I have no way to configure any sort of information to the core, and then you want to jump start it back up?" She mocked a laugh and headed towards a wall control, pounding her fingers on the lit up keys in irritation.</p><p>"That's the plan. A week at full warp and full shields would be optimal, but I am not expecting that. I wont leave you without power B'Elanna, we will direct as much of our energy we can spare down here to you while we are coasting. It should be enough to get the core back up but not enough to attract any attention to those things out there."</p><p>B'Elanna starred at the captain and blew out. "This was my idea in the first place" She quipped.</p><p>Kathryn smiled on her and put her hand on the young woman's shoulder. "I know, that's why I know it will work. When will you be ready?"</p><p>"Less than an hour we should be able to go to 8. I will pull out the dilithum reserves." She answered back.</p><p>"Wait on that for as long as you can. Lets make sure we wont need it later on down the road." Her chief engineer nodded curtly and turned to busy herself with the necessary preparations. Kathryn watched her go and stopped short, running a hand over her belly and breathing deeply. It was going to be a long couple of days.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Back on the bridge Captain Janeway and the bridge crew were waiting for B'Elanna's go ahead to warp 8. The ship was shuddering under the suckers and Kathryn wrung her hands with impatience. "How are those shields holding Mr. Tuvok? She asked the Vulcan.</p><p>"90 percent, with areas of weakness at the points of suction on previously addressed decks. Power has been moved to compensate and shields are holding, but I do not foresee them holding at this rate for much longer.</p><p>Kathryn nodded curtly. "Ready Tom?"</p><p>"As ready as I'll ever be" He said without looking up as he plotted his fly plan into the helm.</p><p>Suddenly B'Elanna's voice cut across the room. "Torres to the bridge".</p><p>"Janeway here."</p><p>"Ready when you are captain."</p><p>"Thank you, B'Elanna. Tuvok, maintain shields as needed. Tom, do your thing." Kathryn smiled as she took her chair.</p><p>"Aye captain!" Tom's hands darted over the dash and the ship lurched into warp 8.</p><p>Green flowing energy zipped past them, washing over the ship like waves of green algae. Kathryn closed her eyes to keep from getting dizzy. "Tuvok?"</p><p>"Shields are holding".</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The ship lasted five days at warp 8 and full shields. On the fifth day shields plummeted and they had to shut down main power to the entire ship. B'Elanna worked day in and day out as they coasted through the energy field for the past 2 days. If they could get everything powered up again they would be out in 2 days. But if they continued the way they were, it was going to take over a week. The crew was on edge and Kathryn felt like she was on the brink.</p><p>Kathryn was on her side on a bio-bed in a very dim sickbay. She moaned as Kes rubbed her back and spook gently to her.</p><p>"Captain, I have a stronger medicine we can try, it will stop the vertigo and should help you with the nausea" The doctor announced with pride in his voice.</p><p>Kathryn waved a hand at him. "Just do it!" she panted and grasped the side of the bed as another wave of dizziness crashed into her. Even with her eyes closed she felt as if she were spinning. She hadn't been able to hold down any food in over three days and every time she stood she got light headed. She knew pregnancy came with symptoms but she was not expecting to be incapacitated and it infuriated her.</p><p>The doctor pressed the hypocpray into her neck. "I am also going to give you a boost of vitamins and minerals along with some electrolytes to compensate for your dehydration." He said as another spray hissed into her neck.</p><p>Kathryn opened her eyes and swallowed hard. She was still a bit light headed but felt significantly better. She could function like this. She would function like this. She sat up and moved her legs over the side of the bed rubbing the back of her hand over her eyebrow. "Thank you" She managed.</p><p>"Would you like to stay here and rest a bit?" Kes asked with concern etched on her face.</p><p>The captain patted the young woman's hand. "Thank you, no, I am okay. I need to be getting down to the bridge."</p><p>"Captain" The doctor added. "You have lost five pounds since your pregnancy, and while its not uncommon for that to happen in the beginning due to the early symptoms I would like you to come to me if you're unable to hold food down. I have sent replicator coordinates for a anti-nausea spray to your quarters that should help."</p><p>She nodded and stood up, smoothing the wrinkles in her red jacket and made for the door.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The bridge was quiet and dark, the crew locked in the own thoughts as the darkness and green hue of the energy field engulfed them. Chakotay silently moved to his chair and couldn't help but notice even in the darkness how pale the captain looked as she took her seat. She watched the green waves thought the main view screen and had to admire the beauty of it. They were almost completely dead in the water but there had been no entities a sucking energy from them and she was grateful for that. They would be out soon she thought to herself.</p><p>"Torres to the bridge"</p><p>"Janeway here"</p><p>"We have a problem, Captain.”</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janeway entered engineering and was immediately met by a cloud of smoke. Panels and dashes sparked and what little lights they had popped and flashed. She held her arm over her mouth and coughed.</p><p>"Over here, Captain!" B'Elanna called from a panel near the core. Her face was dirty and she was in her grey tank, sweat darkening the neckline as she worked frantically.</p><p>"What happened?" The captain called over the hissing of the core. She stood next to the engineer and watched over her shoulder as she soldered wires into the panel.</p><p>"I'm not sure, everything was running smoothly, we were almost ready to go back online when a plasma gel pack ruptured. I checked it out and realized that it a power overload."</p><p>"Overload? How is that possible, we are on minimal power?"</p><p>"I know, that's what I thought too, but I ran some more tests. All of our plasma gels are overloaded with excess energy, I had to cut out two of them to keep another explosion from happening."</p><p>Suddenly the shipped rumbled and red lights flashed. "Damn! Now what?" Kathryn called as she tapped her commbadge.</p><p>"Janeway to bridge"</p><p>"Captain, the energy forces have found us, they have a lock on us and power is draining fast." Chakotay's voice was firm but Kathryn was sure she detected a hint of anxiety as he spoke.</p><p>Kathryn and B'Elanna starred at each realizing at the same time what was happening.</p><p>"These are intelligent creatures" Kathryn started.</p><p>"They stored the energy, they knew the gels would explode and it would be a beacon for them to find us!" B'Elanna added.</p><p>"Shut down the gels, shut down everything we possibly can. Life support at minimal excursion." Kathryn called as she headed back towards the lift.</p><p>"Captain…"</p><p>"Do it!"</p><p>xxx</p><p>Kathryn made her way back to the bridge, her head spinning from dehydration and the smoke. She took her seat next to Chakotay and explained the situation to the crew.</p><p>"Doctor to the bridge.”</p><p>Kathryn looked at Chakotay who answered. "Chakotay here" He said as he watched the captain rest her head on the back of her seat.</p><p>"As life support starts to drop I will be monitoring the crew closely. There will come a point, commander, where you will not be able to drop them more than the crew can withstand."</p><p>The ship shook violently as green flashed all around them. "Understood" Chakotay answered the doctor.</p><p>"One more thing…."</p><p>"What is it?" Chakotay asked with a hint of annoyance.</p><p>"I recommend crew members of a more sensitive nature report to sick bay during this time for observation."</p><p>Kathryn glared at Chakotay. "We will take that under advisement doctor. Chakotay out. Captain don't you think…."</p><p>Kathryn's hand moved to wave him off before he could finish. "I do not need to leave my crew at a time like this. I will be staying right here. Understood?"</p><p>Chakotay looked at her and nodded but he was clearly unhappy.</p><p>"Go ahead Tuvok" Kathryn ordered as she pulled out a small lantern from under her chair. Tuvok ran his fingers over the controls and the ships sighed as everything flashed to darkness. It was an eerie feeling being on the ship with the control panels black and the absent hum of the core made the silence ring.</p><p>"Life support is dropping" The doctor announced over the comm. Aside from engineering, sickbay was the only other place left with power. "Oxygen levels will be dropped to a minimum, light headed-ness and blackouts should be expected. Temperature levels will also be on the rise."</p><p>"Thank you doctor". Chakotay answered as he ran a hand through his hair. He knew the turbo lifts and replicators were down. If Kathryn had a bad reaction to what was happening on the ship there would be nothing for them to do in order to help her. She was strong and it was apparent to him that she would stay as strong as possible no matter what. He watched her and noticed a light beading of sweat form on her forehead and her eyes darkened against her paling skin. But she sat up straight, staring ahead into the green vastness before them and refused to falter.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>After an hour it was apparent that the crew was succumbing to the effects of the lowered life support. The temperature was almost unbearable and the decrease in oxygen was taking its toll. Harry was the first to go down. He tried to fight it but it over powered him and he slouched unresponsive over his dash. They laid him down in front of his dash and stripped him of his shoes, jacket and shirt, bunching them into a ball and putting them under his head. Tuvok stood strong as his nostrils flared in attempt to pull in more oxygen as sweat ran down his face. Kathryn pulled his jacket off of him ignoring his protests. She had also stripped down to her grey tank and pulled her hair up off of her neck.</p><p>"We could all just get naked!" Tom attempted at making a joke.</p><p>Kathryn looked at him. "By all means Mr. Paris. Be my guest." She said flatly as she sat on the floor and leaned against her chair. She tapped her commbadge.</p><p>"Janeway to engineering."</p><p>"Torres here". B'Elanna answered, her voiced sounding strained and tired.</p><p>"Tell me something good lieutenant" Janeway half begged and she wiped her face with her jacket and pulled her knees up.</p><p>"I have reset all of the gel packs and rewired them to alternate energy sources. I pulled out the held back dilithium and we are running it through the core now. From what I can tell, this should work. I give it less than an hour and we can power on and jump to warp with full shields. Bear with me, captain. I can do this." Her voice sounding more determined.</p><p>"I know you can." Kathryn answered with a smile. Suddenly and without warning her heart pounded wildly in her chest, the erratic sensation caused her cough and gasp for air. Her arm flew to Chakotay and she grabbed his leg. In an instant he was down at her side, as Tom ran to her other.</p><p>"Kathryn, look at me!" Chakotay cupped her chin and turned her face to him. She gasped for air as her heart fluttered causing her to cough again. She held on to Chakotay's arm, fear forming in her eyes.</p><p>"We need to lay her down," Tom said as he helped pull the captain down, wadding her jacket into a makeshift pillow" Chakotay kneeled at her side and held her hand feeling utterly helpless. He was furious with himself; he knew she needed to have gone to sickbay. And now they were paying for it. He was grateful for Tom and his rational thinking and bit of medical knowledge.</p><p>"Captain, captain, look at me!" Tom forced Kathryn's head in his direction. "You need to breath in through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds and then let it out through your mouth. Okay?" She shook her head, clearly mortified by the situation but her fear outweighed it. "Just try, captain, you can do this. I know you're afraid". Sweat poured from Tom's face as he continued to coax the captain into regulating her breathing. She was having heart palpitations, probably from her dehydration and lack of oxygen, they were not life threatening but he knew she was afraid and the sensation was overwhelming. She nodded her head and did as Tom instructed, relief spreading across her face as she was able to pull air into her lungs and her heart started beating normally.</p><p>"Good girl, you got it". Chakotay pushed her wet hair off of her forehead and watched as a bit of color returned to her face.</p><p>She pushed herself up on her elbows. "I'm okay. It passed." She said exasperated and humiliated by the situation. She sat up and pushed her hair back. "Thank you, Tom" She said as she struggled to look him in the eyes. He was a good man but no one should have to see his captain like that.</p><p>Chakotay helped her back into a sitting position. "Are you okay?"</p><p>She nodded. "Yes, that was extremely unpleasant." She said with a slight chuckle.</p><p>"It didn't look fun," Tom said as he returned to his seat, using his jacket to mop his face and neck.</p><p>"We have got to get life support back to normal" she glanced over to Harry who had moaned unconsciously, his cheeks pink from the heat and his eyes hollow from lack of oxygen. Tuvok swayed at his post but held firm to his duties. Chakotay looked better than the rest of him, though she could see worry and anxiety behind his eyes. She felt guilty knowing that is was because of her.</p><p>"Torres to the bridge.”</p><p>"Janeway here.”</p><p>"Ready when you are captain.”</p><p>"More than ready. Power up. Tom, get ready to jump straight to warp 8, get us out of her. Tuvok, maintain shields at max. If this works we should be out in less than 10 hours." She stood up and resumed her position in chair next to Chakotay and tapped her comm.</p><p>"Janeway to The Doctor.”</p><p>"Yes captain?"</p><p>"Get ready to reinstate full life support as soon as the power comes back on.”</p><p>"Acknowledged."</p><p>Suddenly the ship rumbled to life and the lights flickered on. Tom ran his hands over his controls and the ship sprang into warp. "Here we go!"</p><p>"Shields at 100 percent and holding" Tuvok announced.</p><p>Kathryn took a deep breath as she felt cool oxygen begin to circulate the bridge. She glanced back to Harry. "We need to get him to sickbay" She told Chakotay.</p><p>"You're going too" He stated without waiting for her answer as he walked over to help a groggy Harry get to his feet.</p><p>Kathryn reluctantly agreed and left the bridge to Tuvok and boarded the lift with Chakotay who was supporting Harry.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”</p><p>Kathryn's eyes sprang open and she realized she had been asleep in sickbay. Harry was a few beds over and Chakotay was napping in a chair next to her.</p><p>"Janeway here.”</p><p>"We have left the energy field and are maintaining course. No residual effects and no sign of the entities."</p><p>"Thank you, Tuvok. That is good news." She leaned back in the bed and breathed a sigh of relief.</p><p>The doctor came to her side and ran a medi-scan over her. "You are still considerably dehydrated which would explain your heart palpitations." He pressed a hypospray into her neck. "This should take the edge of for awhile. I will release you back to your quarters if you promise to eat something, get plenty of fluids and sleep for at least eights hours."</p><p>She mulled the request over but before she could object Chakotay interjected. "I will make sure it happens, Doc". He rubbed his hands over his eyes then put a hand on Kathryn's shoulder and helped her off of the biobed.</p><p>"What about me?" Harry called from his bed.</p><p>"You were unconscious and are staying here for observation. And you do not have the codes to deactivate me. Lay down." The doctor ordered the young man.</p><p>Kathryn smiled at Harry and thanked the doctor as they left sickbay and made their way to their quarters.</p><p>"Quite a day" Chakotay interrupted the silence.</p><p>"Do you think so? I got rather bored myself." She smiled and nudged him.</p><p>He leaned down and kissed her head pulling her in close to him. They made their way into their quarters and immediately stripped out of their dirty sweaty clothes. "A hot bath is just what I need" Kathryn groaned as she made her way towards the bathroom and started running the tap.</p><p>Chakotay replicated a large class of cool water and brought it to her. "Drink this.”</p><p>"Is that an order?" She asked as she poured soap into the running water watching it foam.</p><p>"Actually, it is." He grinned at her.</p><p>She took the water and drank half of it and sat the glass on the edge of the tub. "Join me?" She asked him.</p><p>"Is that an order?"</p><p>"Get in" She demanded, laughed and she stepped into the hot water, her toes curling in pleasure as she rested her back against the grey tiled tub.</p><p>Chakotay slid in across from her and watched as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He picked up the class "Kathryn, drink this." She opened her eyes and pursed her lips but took the water without argument. Once she had finished she turned in the tub and leaned her body against Chakotay's. He ran his hands up and down her body and stopped at her middle where his hand cupped the slight roundness of her belly. He kissed her head and neck as she leaned further back into.</p><p>"Quite a day" She said to him and she closed her eyes again and put her hand over his.</p><p>xxx</p><p>The next morning Chakotay again woke up to an empty bed. Panicked that Kathryn was sick he jumped up and rushed to the bathroom only to find it empty.</p><p>"In here!" She called from the small table in the living room where she was fully dressed, sitting with a glass of orange juice and a hearty breakfast spread. "Hungry?"</p><p>He slid into the chair next to her and grabbed a piece of toast. "You must be feeling better." He said as he took a bite.</p><p>"Much. Whatever the doctor sent to the replicator is a miracle drug. I haven't felt this good in weeks." She said as she got up and started clearing he table. "You slept in.”</p><p>"Long day yesterday" He said between bites and he snatched another piece of toast off of a plate before she could take it away.</p><p>"I just wish we could have learned more about those creatures" She thought out loud as she pulled on her boots.</p><p>"I think we have had enough energy suckers for awhile. Where are you going? Shift doesn't start for another two hours."</p><p>"B'Elanna and I are going to go over some of the gel pack repairs in engineering."</p><p>"Who's idea was that?" He asked already knowing the answer.</p><p>"Mine, I commed her this morning, she was awake!" She argued as she grabbed her comm from the table and pinned it to her red uniform jacket.</p><p>"I don't doubt it. Just try to take it easy today, okay?"</p><p>"Stop!" She protested and she kissed the side of his head. "See you on the bridge" She said and waltzed out the door leaving Chakotay naked at the table staring after her.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days came and went as the starship Voyager continued her trek towards the Alpha Quadrant. After the upsets during the last couple of months the crew and especially their captain were content with the quietness on the ship. Captain Janeway had just entered the second trimester in her pregnancy and she felt like a new person. The sickness had seemed to vanish and she felt a new surge of energy. Repairs to the ship had been tedious but everyone pulled their weight and after a few long days everything was running smoothly.</p><p>Kathryn was sitting in her ready room reviewing some PADDs she had received from engineering when her comm chirped.</p><p>"Chakotay to the Captain"</p><p>She smiled at his voice. "Janeway here".</p><p>"Sensors have detected a ship and we are almost in hailing range."</p><p>"Understood.” She stood and stretched as she pushed a wry strand of hair back into place. She ran her hand over her lower abdomen, the roundness of her belly was becoming more noticeable and she was fighting tooth and nail to keep her standard uniform for as long as she could. She pulled at the waistband of her pants and let out a deep breath from the release then headed out to the bridge.</p><p>"They are hailing" Tuvok announced as she made her way to the chair and stood in front of it.</p><p>"On screen."</p><p>"Hello, I am Lorge of the Sikaris, may we be of some assistance?" The young humanoid man on screen asked with a kind tone.</p><p>The captain was confused by the question "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation, I appreciate your offer but we are just traveling through on our way home."</p><p>Lorge nodded in understanding. "Welcome to Sikaris space, we are happy to know you. Our planet is just about a light year away, and we would enjoy your company if you would come. It is not everyday we meet new species." His smile was warm and welcoming.</p><p>"Thank you for your offer, that's very kind. We will follow you into orbit." The man nodded and the transmission ended. Kathryn sat in her chair and looked at Chakotay. "Can't pass that up can we?"</p><p>He shook his head in agreement. "They seem like nice people."</p><p>"The Sikarian planet is healthy and well populated class M planet with lush jungles and large bodies of water, not unlike earth." Tuvok announced as he read from his dash. Tom grinned at the thought of visiting.</p><p>"Tuvok, lets get an away team together and scope it out, maybe we can arrange some shore leave," The captain ordered as she smiled at Tom and to Chakotay. "This crew could use a break, I know I could".</p><p>Xxx</p><p>A few days later Captain Janeway, Tuvok and Tom were on the surface of the planet where they met the Sikarian leader Gath. He was a kind man and welcomed their small party with open arms. Tom wandered the corridors of the sophisticated city as Tuvok followed closely behind the captain and Gaff.</p><p>"You have a beautiful planet" Kathryn admired as she watched the Sikarian people busy themselves in the open-air market. Kathryn touched a bit of fabric and sighed at its luxuriousness. Gaff nodded in agreement as he pulled the fabric from the rack and wrapped it around Kathryn's shoulders. "But I am curious, Lorge, who contacted us, asked if we needed assistance. We were not in distress…" She trailed off.</p><p>"You are a much less sophisticated than the Sikarian, we are always on the lookout for lost ships. The Delta Quadrant can be a volatile place. This looks perfect on you, it makes your eyes bright." He said as he touched the fabric to Kathryn's cheek.</p><p>"Thank you" she said as she unwrapped herself from the silk like material and placed it back on the shelf. "And we appreciate your concern and your kindness.”</p><p>Gaff stared at her and smiled. "Why don't you bring your crew down and join us for a few days? I would love to get to know the beautiful captain of a starship and to hear about your journey home."</p><p>"That's very kind of you, I think my crew would appreciate it very much. Thank you."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn was right, the crew was thrilled at the impromptu shore leave and they were making the very best of it. Beautiful Sikarian woman surrounded Tom and Harry was sitting in the corner talking to a young woman who was getting pretty comfortable with him. Kathryn and Chakotay sat on a pillowed bench dressed in Sikarian fabric, drinking native nectar and engrossed in conversation with Gaff.</p><p>"You are welcome to stay as long as you wish. It sounds like you have had quite the journey" He smiled towards the command team. "Sikaria is a wonderful place to raise a child," He added with a nod towards Kathryn.</p><p>Chakotay straightened his back and wrapped his arm around Kathryn's shoulders protectively. Kathryn furrowed her brows "How did…?"</p><p>"We know almost everything about you, captain, physically at least. As soon as you step foot onto our planet our sensors pick up even the tiniest of details. That is how we make sure everyone is happy and healthy." He said proudly. "How long is a human gestation?"</p><p>Kathryn swallowed and fidgeted at the personal direction the conversation was heading. "About nine months" She answered.</p><p>"The last six will go by quickly," He said warmly.</p><p>Kathryn fidgeted again and looked over at Chakotay. "I am exhausted" She exclaimed and started to stand. Gaff stood up and put his arm to Kathryn's elbow and assisted her, letting his hand linger.</p><p>"It is late and we have had a long day." He agreed.</p><p>"Will I see you tomorrow?" Gaff asked</p><p>"I think you might" Kathryn answered with a smile and a nod. Gaff bowed slightly and turned to leave as Kathryn and Chakotay made their way to the transport coordinates.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"I just don't like him, the way he talks to you, touches you!" Chakotay was venting as he pulled his grey shirt over his head as Kathryn watched from their bed with a hint of amusement on her face.</p><p>"If I didn't know any better I would say you are jealous, commander.”</p><p>Chakotay pulled the sheet back and sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know… maybe I am."</p><p>Kathryn pulled herself up to her knees and sat behind Chakotay and put her hands on his shoulders, kneading the tension out of his muscles. "You have nothing to worry about" she whispered into his ear as she kissed his neck. "Lets try to enjoy the next few days, okay? Try not to worry."</p><p>He turned to her and ran a hand through her long hair and cupped her face with his large hand. "Oh I plan on enjoying the next few days" He said with a twinkle in his eye and he playfully pulled Kathryn down to the bed as he held himself up above her. He leaned all of his weight to one arm as his other ventured under the covers pulling at Kathryn's thin white night gown and pulled it up over her hips. She bit her lip and starred into his eyes as he ran his thumb on the inside of her thigh. Unexpectedly the chime to their quarters rang.</p><p>"What the hell?" Chakotay asked irritated as he pushed himself up and pulled the comforter over Kathryn's body. The chime rang again. And Kathryn pulled herself into a sitting position with the comforter pulled up to her chest. She shot Chakotay a worried look as he went to the door. He pressed the pad and the doors opened to a breathless Harry Kim.</p><p>"Commander! I'm sorry to bother you. I need to talk to you and the captain, its urgent." He breathed heavily shifting his weight from one leg to another with impatience.</p><p>"Wait a moment" Kathryn called as she went to the bathroom to change. Chakotay watched Harry as he fidgeted nervously when he realized Chakotay was without his shirt.</p><p>Kathryn walked up behind Chakotay in uniform and her hair pulled back. "What can I do for you, Mr. Kim? This better be good." She said with a slight irritancy in her voice.</p><p>"Oh, its better than good, Captain!"</p><p>xxx</p><p>Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay were rendered speechless as they starred at Ensign Kim after he had just explained to them how the Sikari people had the ability to fold time and travel literally anywhere in the universe. Chakotay ran a hand through his hair and looked over at Kathryn who was deep in thought.</p><p>Harry broke the silence. "We could be home. Tomorrow!"</p><p>"Home,” Chakotay echoed.</p><p>"Thank you for the information Mr. Kim. We will discuss this tomorrow with Gaff and call a senior staff meeting." Kathryn finally said.</p><p>Harry looked deflated as he and Chakotay stood. "Yes, Captain" He said as he follow the commander to the door. "See you tomorrow.” And he took his leave.</p><p>Chakotay turned and looked at the captain. "Well, what are you thinking?"</p><p>"It sound's almost too good to be true." She admitted.</p><p>"Home. Tomorrow." Chakotay shook his head at the thought.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Gaff laughed, "Of course we can bend space! How else are we to travel all over the universe?" The senior staff were seated around the meeting table watching Gaff intently as he sat at the head next to the captain.</p><p>"Could you jump 70,000 light-years?" Tom asked excitedly.</p><p>"We can, and we have!" Gaff said enthusiastically.</p><p>The officers talked amongst themselves excitedly and Kathryn held up her hand to silence them. "Can you tell us, just how are you able to achieve such a leap?"</p><p>"We have a special- trajectory that literally folds space around us. Like holding a string taut on both ends then bringing your hands together. The string represents space. Its that simple." Gaff explained.</p><p>Kathryn couldn't help the smile that crept to her face. "Gaff, do you think you could help us get home?" The entire room went silent as all eyes fell on the Sakarian.</p><p>"I do not think that would be possible" He stated.</p><p>"Why not?" B'Elanna stood up and slammed her hand on the table. Chakotay shot her a look and she sat back down, her body radiated as she swallowed back her anger.</p><p>Gaff looked ahead calmly. "We have rules and regulations to follow. It would but unethical of us to meddle in the affairs of less sophisticated species. Who knows how our intrusion would disrupt the future?"</p><p>"The Prime Directive" Kathryn said under her breath as she rubbed her head. Her officers starred at her. "We understand. Thank you for explaining, Gaff". B'Elanna shoved away from the table and stormed out of the meeting room.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn walked the city streets with Gaff after promising Chakotay and the crew that she would try to come to some sort of a deal with the Sakarians.</p><p>"The history of your planet is quite intriguing, captain" Gaff said as they walked passed the small shops.</p><p>"Our history goes on and on, we have thousands of documented moments in history. I did notice your extensive library." Kathryn said as she gently touched an exotic purple flower.</p><p>"We take great pride in the historical upkeep of the species we have encountered. There is nothing better than knowledge" He beamed.</p><p>"I quiet agree" She said as she stopped to look at him. "Gaff…" She started.</p><p>"Yes captain?"</p><p>"I of all people understand the importance of rules and regulations. We have our own that we are sworn to adhere too, but its going to take us close to 100 years to get home, due to my own error." She paused and took in a deep breath. "Is there any way you could help us get a little further? I need to bring my crew home. I could offer you all of our planets history for your library thousands of years of history at your hands.” She looked up hopefully at the tall Sakarian.</p><p>"Kathryn, my dear captain. While your history would surly be an asset to my library and enrich my people's lives, there is no reason for you to do that. Your planet has been plagued by war and strife, while mine is at perfect peace. We welcome you." He placed a hand on her swollen abdomen. "And your child".</p><p>Kathryn pulled back at the touch using what self-control she had to remain calm at the intrusion. "I am sorry, but we can not stay. Your planet is wonderful and your people so welcoming. But we need to get to our own home…. And you may be the key to get there."</p><p>"I can not offer you anything except my hospitality" He moved towards her again and she held her hands up. "Kathryn, your crew will be happy here. Your child… happy!"</p><p>"We're not staying, Gaff…" She took a step back.</p><p>"Then why are you still here?" His eyes sparked.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn sat in the command chair, her fingers tapping the arm in frustration. "Tom, we will be leaving orbit in one hour, set a course for home."</p><p>"Aye, captain" He said, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.</p><p>Chakotay sat in his own chair lost in his own thoughts. Kathryn's voice brought him back and he watched at her as she starred straight ahead. She tried hard to hide the disappointment behind her steely eyes, but he knew by her clenched jaw and jutted chin that she was upset with the situation. He sat there unmoving for a moment, his mind racing. He looked at Kathryn's belly. The roundness was becoming more predominant a sure and healthy sign that their child was growing. Their child. A child born in space, decades away from what could possibly never be their home. He stood up.</p><p>"Excuse Me," He said as he headed towards the turbolift. He expected some objection from the captain but there was nothing but silence. He instructed the turbolift to the designated deck and headed into the transport room. The room was empty and he plotted points on the dash for the middle of the city and moved to the transport podium and he dematerialized.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Back on the bridge Tuvok announced, "Captain, there has been an unauthorized transport to the surface of the planet."</p><p>Kathryn turned and faced the Vulcan. "Who is it?"</p><p>"It is commander Chakotay".</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kathryn jumped out of her chair and tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay". She tried again. "Captain to Chakotay,” still nothing but silence. She fumed. "Tuvok, you have the bridge" And she stormed off to the transport room. She stood at the controls and plotted the points for the city, but before she could finish Chakotay rematerialized in front of her. "Just what the hell do you think you are doing?" Kathryn held her hands to her hips and starred up at Chakotay.</p><p>He moved his hand from behind his back and held out a luxurious roll of purple fabric. "I noticed how you had been eyeing this back on the surface, and with everything that has been going on, I thought you needed something nice."</p><p>Guilt flashed over Kathryns face but she held her stance. "You had no permission to leave the ship, we have no idea if Gaff at the Sakari people have any hostile feelings towards our decline to stay!" She snapped at him as he came down off the transport podium.</p><p>"I am sorry I upset you. Its hard to do nice things for you when I have to ask for your permission." He stated bluntly.</p><p>She ran her hand over the purple fabric. "Thank you. It is beautiful." She sighed.</p><p>He kissed her head. "I am late for a meeting in engineering. See you back on the bridge?" He asked.</p><p>"I will be there" she said As he handed her the fabric and was out the door. Kathryn hung her head and wound the fabric around her hands and headed back to the bridge.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Did you get it?" Chakotay called to B'Elanna as he practically ran into engineering.</p><p>"Right here" She said and held up a small silver cylinder. "I still do not know how you managed to get this." She said shaking her head.</p><p>"Don't ask. Please don't ask." He said taking the cylinder from her and setting it on the dash in front of them. They both stared at it. "Do you think you can do it?"</p><p>B'Elanna gave him a look. "I guess there is only one way to find out. I think I can remodulate one of our warp conduits and it should be able to process our tachyon array if we can get it to synch up properly."</p><p>He nodded. "Lets get on it, we have less than 30 minutes before we are set to leave orbit". He grabbed the cylinder and they headed to the core.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Prepare to leave orbit, Mr. Paris" The captain ordered as she stood behind her pilot. She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to engineering."</p><p>After a moment longer than Kathryn would have liked B'Elanna answered. "Torres here."</p><p>"Are we set to go?"</p><p>"Uh" She stumbled over her words. "It may be a bit longer captain, we are having a bit of difficulty transitioning over to the core." She replied over the comm.</p><p>"This is the first I have heard of it. How much time do you need?" She asked quickly.</p><p>"Thirty minutes at the most, captain."</p><p>"Make it happen. Janeway out."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay watched as B'Elanna worked frantically to intergrade the cylinder. Smoke billowed from under her hands as she cursed in Klingon.</p><p>"B'Elanna…." Chakotay called.</p><p>"Stop rushing me! I have never done this before! There, I think it's in." She got up and ran to the controls and pressed the colored buttons, the core lit to life and the young woman grabbed Chakotay's hand as they both stared up at it.</p><p>"You did it!" Chakotay called as he watched the blue lights speed through the core. Suddenly an alarm sounded and sparks flashed from the newly integrated piece of machinery.</p><p>"Damn. Now what?" She dove back under the dash and started working at finding the issue. The alarm was grinding on her nerves.</p><p>"What is it? B'Elanna! Can you fix it?" Chakotay crouched down next to her and shielded his eyes from the hot sparks that jumped up at him.</p><p>She swore again. "It's over heating, the core isn't accepting it! I have to get it out!" She called over the alarm and braced her foot on the panel as she tried to dislodge the cylinder.</p><p>"Janeway to engineering" The captain called over the comm.</p><p>"Torres here" B'Elanna answered as calmly as she could.</p><p>"We are receiving some distressing alarms up here on the bridge in regards to engineering and the core. What is going on?" The captain demanded.</p><p>B'Elanna starred at Chakotay as she worked on freeing the cylinder. "We have it handled, Captain, should only be a few more minutes!" She called. "Torres out".</p><p>"Warning! Warning, structural integrity of engineering will disrupt in less than one minute. Please evacuate immediately! Warning! Warning!" The computer called out an alarm.</p><p>"B'Elanna! We have to get out of here now!" He pulled on the half-Klingon's arm and she shoved him back.</p><p>"I can do this!" She yelled as she hit the cylander with everything she had.</p><p>"Warning! Warning! Structural integrity of engineering will disrupt in less than 30 seconds. Please evacuate immediately! Warning! Warning!" The computer called again.</p><p>"B'Elanna!" Chakotay called as smoke billowed and the engineering crew ran from the core.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn had her back turned away from him as she looked out into the vastness from the window of her ready room. She bit the inside of her mouth as a hot tear ran down her face. She quickly wiped it away and turned to look at Chakotay. "Why?"</p><p>"Kathryn" He started.</p><p>She held her hand up and shook her head. "Tell me why!" Her voice rose as she fought to hold back the tears that were burning her eyes. "You lied to me. You put this ship and its crew in danger! What the hell were you thinking?" Her voice rose to a yell and she braced herself on the railing of the upper deck.</p><p>"I was thinking about you. I was thinking about the baby."</p><p>"This baby is nothing without the ship! Without the crew!"</p><p>"I had to take a chance. If I could bring you home, if our baby could be born at home…"</p><p>She starred at him unable to for her thoughts into words. "Get out" She seethed.</p><p>"Kathryn…"</p><p>"Get out!" She yelled and turned away from him again as tears fell from her eyes. She heard her ready room doors open and close and she knew he had left. She sat on the small couch and wiped her face, her hands shaking.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn had her hair wrapped in a towel and she leaned her head back as hot water cascaded over her body. One hand hung over the side of the tub as the other cupped the lower part of the swell of her belly. She heard the main doors open and she knew Chakotay had finished his shift. She didn't move. She breathed out through her mouth and forced herself to relax. She listened as Chakotay moved about their quarters but he never came in to see her. She closed her eyes, half relieved at being left alone.</p><p>Thirty minutes later Kathryn walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a white robe, her hair down around her shoulders. Chakotay was on the end of the bed, his head in his hands. She stopped and stared at him, her anger swelling up inside of her again as the sight of him reminded her of his actions. She walked passed him to the replicator and ordered some coffee, daring him to say something. She took her coffee and sat on the couch curling her feet up under herself. She sipped it and broke the silence. "Of all the people on this ship…"</p><p>"Please…." He retorted</p><p>"Let me finish, Chakotay" She said sternly as she turned her eyes to him. "Of all the people on this ship, I feel as if I should be surprised by these actions and as angry as I am; and Chakotay I am so goddamn angry… I am not surprised.”</p><p>He looked back at her with hurt and confusion on his face. "I'm sorry….”</p><p>"You love this child. It's so clear to me. Every time I see you staring at me, I can feel it. Every time you touch me I know the passion in you boils, because it boils in me too. I know why you did it. And as wrong as it was, I love you for it." Her eyes softened as her own words calmed her.</p><p>Chakotay stood up and went to the couch and sat beside her, he took her coffee cup and put it on the table as he took both of her hands in his. "Every day I live in fear that something is going to happen to you. You are so stubborn, its one of my most favorite things about you but it also terrifies me. I don't know what I would do without you. And as afraid as I am, every day I have to remind myself why you are the captain. Your qualifications, your past, the determination and drive that propels you forward. For once I want to be able to take that burden from you. I want you to relax and know that everything is going to be okay. Not on edge worrying about what's behind the next sector of space. What we have to fight… what you have to fight. I thought that if I could get the technology and bring us home that you could carry our child in our own home, knowing that the next morning you…." He trailed off and looked at her face.</p><p>Her blue eyes brimmed with tears and she reached up to touch his face. He took her hand and kissed it. She stood up and put one leg over his lap and straddled him, taking his face in both of her hands and kissed him passionate. He ran his hands down the terry cloth of her robe and reached around the front to untie it. She fiddled with his pants exposing him and teasing him firm. He sat up straight and pulled his shirt over his head and Kathryn shrugged out of her robe. He gazed at her breasts and kissed her collarbone as she pulled at him, running her hands up and down him coaxing him into growing. He pushed her gently into the couch as he pulled off his pants and held himself over her. His mouth found hers and they explored each other as if it were the first time back on New Earth. He parted her legs with his knee and sucked on one of his fingers and brought it between her thighs as he teased her, egging on the wetness that aroused him so much. She closed her eyes and moaned slightly as he slipped his finger into her. She clawed at his back as she kissed his chest and jaw and suddenly he was inside of her. He slammed his hips into her and she gasped in surprise and pleasure. He moved his hands under her hips and lifted her to meet him as she thrust again, biting his lip as each repetition made her grow wetter and tighter. He sped up, moving his body as his instincts took over. Kathryn cried out as the pleasure and slight pain of him inside of her washed over her entire body. She felt him swell and her body tugged and clamped around him. She felt herself tightening as he sped up and her eyes locked on to his as sweat dripped down his temple. At the same time Chakotay let out a roar as Kathryn arched her back as they both succumbed to orgasm simultaneously. She panted and shook as waves of pleasure over took her. Chakotay held tight, pressed inside of her as he pulsed and released everything he had into her. She wrapped her legs around him as he lay down next to her on the couch, his arms wrapped tight around her as aftershocks wracked her body every time her moved within her. She moaned and let a leg hang off the couch, widening her hips to accept his movement. She reached down and touched where they were connected and slowly moved her hips away from him and he slid out of her as the pressure in her abdomen became too much. She sighed and leaned her head into his chest and held onto him with everything she had.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Gossip on the ship died down after a few days post the engineering incident. But there were still whispers of a planned mutiny led by Chakotay. Kathryn found them to be slightly entertaining while Chakotay fumed at the ignorance of the crew. The relationship of the command team had become stronger after the incident and Kathryn felt herself slowly start to relax as she thought of her their future on the ship and what bringing a child into the environment would be like. She knew Chakotay would do anything for her and their child and that was a comfort to her. She had someone to rely on, to lean on when things got difficult. She had asked him to be her first officer for a reason but she never would have guessed that he would continue to prove himself in the ways he had.</p><p>They continued on their journey, more confident and with a bit more excitement as to what lay ahead of them.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kathryn laughed as she walked the corridors of the ship with Chakotay. They had just left a visit with the doctor where Kathryn and their baby were given a perfect bill of health. Their unborn child was at 20 weeks and growing steadily. Kathryn finally bit the bullet and adorned the less than professional maternity top. She had it replicated to look a bit more like her captain's jacket and she had to admit; in certain lighting it wasn't too terrible. There was no hiding her belly that was for sure. They protrude of her abdomen fit perfectly in Chakotay's hands and his eyes lit up every time he touched it. Kathryn was beginning to come more comfortable with the changes her body was making to accommodate their growing child, but even the small amount of added weight left her a bit unbalanced and more clumsily than she would have liked.</p><p>"It kind of looked like a fish," Chakotay laughed as Kathryn nudged him on the arm.</p><p>"I thought it looked more like a squirrel…" She retorted as they made their way to the bridge.</p><p>"Torres to the captain".</p><p>"B'Elanna's voice stopped them as Kathryn answered. "Janeway here.”</p><p>"Captain, do you have time to meet me in engineering? I have a few diagnostics that I would like your opinion on."</p><p>Kathryn looked at Chakotay who shrugged and nodded. "On my way. See you later?" She asked Chakotay.</p><p>"Of course" He said as she gently squeezed her hand and watched her head in the opposite direction as he boarded the turbo lift and headed to the bridge.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Right there…there!" B'Elanna called as Kathryn wedged herself into a jeffries tube and pulled down a panel to examine the fluctuation B'Elanna told her about. "No, captain… the other one" The half Klingon shook her head as Kathryn pulled on different wires and conduits.</p><p>Janeway rolled her eyes and peered down the tube towards the chief engineer, her frustration building. "You know what? I trust you!" She said as she pulled herself out of the tube and arched and rubbed her back. "I am not going back in there. I think you can handle it." She huffed and pulled at her jacket.</p><p>B'Elanna narrowed her eyes. "You told me to always go over…."</p><p>Kathryn put her hand on B'Elanna's shoulder to stop her. "I think you can manage". She looked down the tube as a conduit arced and B'Elanna dove in head first after it. Kathryn smiled and shook her head. "I will be on the bridge if you need me." B'Elanna waved a hand at her and continued repairing the arcing panel as Kathryn headed for the bridge.</p><p>"Bridge" the captain, ordered the turbolift and she leaned against the railing as the door closed. Without warning the lift slammed to a halt throwing Kathryn off balance as she braced herself on the wall. "What the hell?" The klaxon alarm sounded and red light filled the small lift. "Computer, bridge!" She ordered again. Silence followed. Kathryn pulled down a panel and messed with the controls trying to rewire power to the turbolift. It wasn't working. She looked around her and slammed her hand into the door.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"On screen!" Chakotay called as a thunderous noise permeated all around the ship. The main view screen flashed on and Chakotay's eyes widened at the site. An asteroid fall for as far as the eyes could see. Asteroids as big as small ships pummeled their vessel. "Shields up!"</p><p>"Commander, transport and life support on deck 7 are down as is down as well as main power to decks, 4,5, and 7. Massive damage to deck 7, a repair unit is on the way. Shields are at 70 percent and dropping." Tuvok informed.</p><p>"Tom, can you get us out of here?" Chakotay asked the pilot.</p><p>"There is no way around them!" He plotted points and re plotted points as he yelled in frustration.</p><p>"Find the quickest rout, we are going to have to bulldoze our way through it." Chakotay said as he sat in his chair looking around the bridge as asteroids smashed through the shields and into the ship.</p><p>"Janeway to the bridge"</p><p>"Chakotay here"</p><p>"When you have a moment commander would you please send a repair team to transport. The turbolift is stuck… with me in it" She said with annoyance.</p><p>Chakotay jumped up and headed towards the bridge turbolift doors with Tuvok right behind him. Both men pulled and were able to get the doors opened. Chakotay stuck his head in and looked up. "She's about three decks up, in between decks as far as I can tell. Kathryn, we can see the lift. Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine commander," she answered shortly. "What happened?"</p><p>"Asteroid fall came out of nowhere. Shields are falling but Tom is working on getting us out of here. I will send a repair team your way now." He ran his hand through his hair. He was worried about Kathryn in the turbo lift and irritated that the sensors didn't pick the asteroids until it was too late. They were going to have some huge repairs to do on the ship when they got to the other side.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn sat at the turbo lift listening to the groans and crashes the asteroids were making against the side of the ship. She chewed on the inside of her lip as she held back the anger brewing inside of her. Someone wasn't doing their job if they allowed the ship to fly directly into an asteroid fall. A simple sensor sweep should have detected it at least 3 light years before they got to it. Unexpectedly she felt a flutter in her abdomen and pressed a palm to the side of her belly. The baby moved. A smile spread across her face as the fluttering continued.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>An hour later the turbolift jerked to a start and Kathryn scrambled to get to her feet before the doors to the bridge opened. Chakotay was waiting for her when they did. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine, how's the ship?" She asked as she went to Harry's posts and ran her fingers over the scanners. Harry took a step back as anxiety filled his face.</p><p>"We cleared the fall fifteen minutes ago, we have sustained some minor hull damage, but power has been restored along will transport…."</p><p>He watched her as her eyes flashed over the panel. "Fifteen minutes ago?" She looked up at Chakotay and back down the dash. "Scanners hare not picking up the asteroids at all, it's as if they don't exist according to these readings." She stated with concern.</p><p>"Well they were there, we all saw them, and felt them" Tom added.</p><p>Kathryn starred at him and then turned to Chakotay. "We need to get engineering on those scanners right away. Out here we could run into anything and without scanners we are essentially blind." She took her place at her chair and Chakotay hit his comm.</p><p>"Bridge to engineering."</p><p>"Torres here."</p><p>"B'Elanna, we are not getting any scanner readings up here, can you send someone up here to take a look?"</p><p>"I can, but it wont do any good."</p><p>"And why is that?" Kathryn interjected.</p><p>"Our main computer has separated from the ship. We haveno control over ship functions it's as if she is on autopilot.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn and the crew had been working for over 10 straight ours trying to reconfigure the main computer to reconnect to the ship. Every panel was inspected for anomalies and engineering was being torn apart piece by piece. Once again Captain Janeway found herself in a Jeffries tube.</p><p>"Chakotay to the Captain.”</p><p>"What is it Chakotay?" Kathryn groaned as she pulled herself up the ladder of the tube to inspect the next panel. She was out of breath and tired.</p><p>"We are no where near figuring this phenomenon out."</p><p>"Thank you for the good news" She seethed sarcastically.</p><p>"I think maybe you should climb out of that tube and come get some rest… captain."</p><p>Kathryn rolled her eyes and sighed. "Chakotay, my ship is being run by some unknown force and we have no way of controlling it or knowing if we can defend ourselves if the situation arises. I think rest is the last thing on my list to be worried about.".</p><p>"Funny, you're the first on mine. I will have dinner waiting for you in an hour. Chakotay out."</p><p>Kathryn leaned her head on the ladder and smiled inwardly. She was starving, and she knew she couldn't continue working if her body gave out. Chakotay knew that. He knew her. She made we way down the ladder.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn finished her meal and ran her hands under the tap in the bathroom splashing water on her face when the lights blinked. "Chakotay?"</p><p>"I saw it…." The lights flashed again.</p><p>"Bridge to Captain Janeway" Tuvok called over the comm.</p><p>"Janeway here".</p><p>"We are loosing main power to the ship."</p><p>"I noticed. Stand by, we are on our way." And with that the power went out.</p><p>"Kathryn?"</p><p>"Do you see that?" Kathryn asked and walked towards a glowing light coming from their window. A huge nebula was glowing and pulsing in front of the ship.</p><p>"We are being pulled into it" Chakotay observed.</p><p>"Lets get to the bridge." She turned and slammed into Chakotay's chest.</p><p>He gripped her shoulders. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Fine" She groped around and found a wrist torch and turned it on, directly at Chakotay’s face. "Sorry. Ready?" Chakotay nodded and winced at the light. They turned and manually opened the door to their quarters and entered the corridors. Red lights flashed and they made their way down the hall to a Jeffries tube entrance. Kathryn sighed and pulled her body into it followed by Chakotay.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The power was still out when they got to the bridge, Tuvok, Harry and Tom were standing on the lower deck watching the nebula when the command team made it though the doors.</p><p>"Report" Kathryn called at sucked in a heavy breath.</p><p>"Go sit down, Kathryn" Chakotay whispered into her ear. She shot him a look and stood next to Tuvok.</p><p>"It appears we are being pulled towards the nebula, but if I had to guess, the nebula appears unstable." Tuvok stated still watching the large light pulsing in front of them. Kathryn watched as she pulled at the collar of her shirt and tugged off her jacket. The temperature was rising and she was not about to have another "episode". The doors to the bridge opened and B'Elanna made her way through.</p><p>Kathryn turned to her. "Nice to see you lieutenant. "</p><p>"Captain, I have tried everything in engineering, I don't know what else we can do. I left two men down there just incase. I thought I would see if I could be of some help on the bridge. But it looks like there are system failures all over the ship. I can't control them, can't stop them…." She let out a deep breath clearly agitated by the situation.</p><p>Kathryn nodded her head in understanding as she replayed the scenarios out loud. "First sensors were off line and kept us from detecting a change in direction and everything else around us, now we have absolutely no control over the ship and are being pulled into a decompressing nebula." She put a hand to her temple as she thought. "B'Elanna, do you think we could manually adjust the helm?"</p><p>Tom looked at the captain then to B'Elanna. "I can do that…."</p><p>"Be my guest" B'Elanna said as she crossed her arms and watched Tom struggle with the control panel as he held a flashlight in his mouth.</p><p>Kathryn moved to Harry's post and ran her hand over the flickering panel. "Please help me out here, Voyager. We have been through so much…." She whispered to the dash.</p><p>"Helms on!" Tom called with pride in his voice as he started punching in coordinates.</p><p>"Tom, back up! It's surging!" B'Elanna called as she grabbed Tom and pulled him back. Arcs of electricity and plasma shot out of the helm and the two officers were thrown backwards. Tuvok and Chakotay dove to their side as Kathryn ran up behind them. Tom and B'Elanna sat up and looked at each other.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Tom asked.</p><p>"B'Elanna nodded. "What did you do?"</p><p>"What did I do? I was just rerouting the ship," He snapped back at her.</p><p>Chakotay met Kathryn's eyes. "I don't think this was an accident.” He stated.</p><p>"Something has control of the ship." Kathryn announced as she stared up at the nebula.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The bridge crew watched in silence as the nebula disappeared in front of them.</p><p>"Now what?" Harry asked.</p><p>Tom looked over her shoulder to Harry then to Chakotay. "If it wanted us brought to the nebula, we made it, I guess."</p><p>"Should we try to rewire the helm again?" Chakotay asked but before anyone could answer another flash jumped from the helm control. "I am going to take that as a no."</p><p>"Well we can't just sit here and wait for whatever it is to decide what to do!" B'Elanna announced as she stood up and walked over to a control dash. "We will just over power it. We have total control on the bridge."</p><p>"Warning! Warning! Oxygen depletion in progress! Warning! Warning!" The computer announced overhead.</p><p>"Guess they didn't like that idea" Tom called as he started for Jeffries tube.</p><p>Chakotay put his arm around the captain's back and guided her in as she coughed. B'Elanna went after her followed by Chakotay Harry and Tuvok. They winded their way through the narrow tubes and spilled out into engineering where many of the crewmembers had already congregated. Many stripped down to their grays as the heat became increasingly unbearable.</p><p>Chakotay watched Kathryn run a protective hand over her stomach and he became increasingly agitated over the situation. "What the hell do you want?" He called as he looked up into the tall decks of engineering. Kathryn put a hand on his upper arm in hopes to calm him.</p><p>The crew starred as an eerie voice answered. "We are ready to go home.”  The voice called out. It was so loud some of the crew moved their hands to cover their ears.</p><p>Kathryn stepped forward. "We would like to help you get home, but you have turned off our power supply and we have no way of going anywhere. If you restore my ship we can work together on getting you home." The ship shuddered and the lights flickered on for a moment before going back out. Kathryn held up her hands "Try to help us understand. We can help you.” </p><p>In the middle of the room a light started to glow, it grew bigger and pulsed as it swarmed into a mass.</p><p>"A nebula" Kathryn whispered and gazed at the phenomenon as Chakotay pulled her protectively away.</p><p>"We can find you another nebula!" She called out looking around the room. "Help us help you. Restore our ship and our scanners can pick up the distortions caused by what you are looking for." The lights turned on and the core hummed to life.</p><p>The small nebula disappeared in an instant as the booming voice echoed around them. "Captain Janeway will take us to our home, or we will take her home and make it our own."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The following week was filled with anxiety and anticipation as the crew worked day in and day out scanning for a stable nebula. The voice had not been back but power fluctuations throughout the shipped proved the entity was still lingering. Watching.</p><p>Kathryn sat in her ready room reading everything she could on the formation of nebulas. Her crew was getting antsy, ready to be rid of this burden and start their own journey home. Her child moved within her and she smiled as the sensation was starting to become a comfort. It was to soon for Chakotay to feel anything from the outside but he tried. She held her palm to the abdomen as she continued to read when a voice interrupted her.</p><p>"Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”</p><p>"Janeway here.” </p><p>"We are picking up a distortion about a light year away, it may be a stable nebula."</p><p>Without any hesitation she made her way to the bridge. "On screen". She narrowed her eyes and watched a tiny pinkish dot twirl and tumble within itself.</p><p>"Looks healthy to me," She said as she took her seat next to Chakotay. The ship rumbled and the lights flashed until they went out, leaving just the dim lights of the control panels. Tom held up his hands away from the helm and both Chakotay and Kathryn stood up awaiting the voice.</p><p>"This home is acceptable" The voice boomed and echoed around the ship.</p><p>"We are being pulled towards the nebula" Tuvok announced. "At this speed we will reach it in less than five minutes."</p><p>"Five minutes?" Chakotay asked as he watched the Nebula grow larger and stars whip past the ship.</p><p>"How do we stop from being pulled into it?" Harry asked.</p><p>Kathryn's eyes widened at the thought. "We have brought you home, you can release us now. You are no longer in need of our assistance." She called hoping the voice would answer. The crew waited in silence as the ship moved closer.</p><p>"Captain Janeway was to bring us home." The voice boomed.</p><p>"You will be home, we are almost there. We can not survive in the nebula, it will destroy us" Janeway called out. Out of nowhere Kathryn's abdomen felt as if it were being twisted and pulled from her body and she fell to her knees as she called out in pain. She doubled over and Chakotay fell down next to her rubbing her back repeating her name as cries escaped her lips.</p><p>"We did what you asked!" Chakotay yelled. "We brought you home! There is no reason for this!" Chakotay's eyes flashed in panic and he tapped his comm. "Chakotay to transport. Get a shuttle ready for launch within the next thirty seconds. Open the shuttle bay doors and be ready to launch on my command."</p><p>"Acknowledged" A crewmember answered.</p><p>Kathryn groaned and withered on the floor as the entity manipulated her body. "We brought you home!" She called and grasped Chakotay's hand.</p><p>"Shuttle ready for launch, commander" a voice called out.</p><p>"Tom, launch the shuttle and get a lock on it, drive it straight into the nebula."</p><p>"Yes sir" Tom answered as his fingers moved wildly over the helm. Chakotay watched as a blue tractor beam pulled the shuttle from the ship and pushed it out in front of them.</p><p>And as quickly as it started the pain in Kathryn's body was gone, the lights flickered to normal and the shuttle shook loose from the tractor beam and flew into the nebula.</p><p>"Tom, all stop!" Kathryn called as she leaned on Chakotay's arm pulling herself off of the ground. The ship groaned and swayed as they sped around the nebula and slowed to a standstill. The crew watched in awe as the nebula bubbled and pitched, changing from a light pink to a deep purple until it burst into a flash of light then disappeared.</p><p>"You're welcome" Tom called out as he turned to look at the command team.</p><p>"We need to get you to sickbay." Chakotay said as he put his arm around the captain's lower back.</p><p>Kathryn shook her head as a familiar flutter filled her belly she smiled and ran a hand over the slight movement. "It's okay Chakotay, everything's okay." He watched her as she took her chair and he sat down next to her. "Mr. Tom, set a course for home".</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am"</p><p>"Engage!"</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“No life signs" Tuvok announced.</p><p>Kathryn crossed her arms over chest and watched the view screen. "Its habitable, and the dilithiium deposits are too rich to pass up. And,” she sighed, “Voyager could use a good once over." She looked over at Chakotay.</p><p>"It couldn't hurt."</p><p>Kathryn nodded. A few days on the planet wouldn't be such a bad idea. Some fresh air would do the crew some good. Voyager certainly needed the rest Kathryn thought to herself.</p><p>"It's settled. Take us down Mr. Paris."</p><p>"Yes ma'am" Tom answered and started the ships decent towards the blue and green planet.</p><p>"Looks a bit like earth doesn't it' Chakotay said towards Kathryn.</p><p>"I was just thinking the same thing." Kathryn said smiling as she watched the screen.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The crew walked off of the landed ship with their hands shielding their faces from the planets two bright suns. They could not have picked a more perfect location if they had tried. A large body of blue fresh water lapped at a beautiful white beach. Towering trees lined a deep and looming jungle.</p><p>"I could live here" Tom yelled as walked passed with a tricorder scanning the surrounding area.</p><p>"Why doesn't anyone?" Harry wondered out loud as he followed Tom.</p><p>Kathryn and Chakotay walked the beach, tricorders in hand. "Not a single life sign aside from our crew. Does that strike you as odd?" The captain turned to Chakotay.</p><p>"I like the privacy" He grinned as he looked around and kissed her passionately. "I think a romantic walk on the beach is just what we need."</p><p>"You try walking with swollen ankles! I don't know if I can do ten more weeks of this" She sighed and looked down at her growing belly.</p><p>Chakotay ran his hand lightly across her abdomen. "These last ten weeks are going to fly by". He grinned as Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him unconvinced.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Three days on the planet and the crew was feeling at home. Everyone rotated from ship maintenance, shore leave and to dilithium scouting. Kathryn spent most of her time in engineering during the day, doing her part on keeping her ship maintained and running smoothly. At night she walked the warm beach with Chakotay hand in hand both reminiscing of New Earth.</p><p>Chakotay spread his jacket out on the sand and helped Kathryn lower herself on to it. He sat down next to her as she rested her head on him arm. He breathed in her hair and smiled to himself.</p><p>"What are you so happy about" She asked him knowingly.</p><p>Chakotay looked down at her. "Do you always have to ask questions?</p><p>"Captain's prerogative" She answered in jest. She took his hand and squeezed it and Chakotay rolled to his hip and ran his other hand up the captain's shirt and jacket, touching her skin gently and slowly started massaging her lower back. Kathryn groaned uncontrollably, lowering her head to her chest. He pulled his hands out from under her clothing and reached around and pulled her jacket off of her and ran his hands over her bare shoulders and arms. She turned and looked up and him her steel blue eyes bore into his dark browns. He leaned down and kissed her and her eyes closed as she put her hands on his chest. Above them thunder rumbled and Kathryn pulled herself away and looked up to the sky. "Chakotay…" She whispered.</p><p>The commander shifted his eyes upward and they widened at the site. The clouds were silver grey against the black night sky and they were rolling on top of each other, churning and building. Thunder rumbled and streaks of what looked like lighting crashed down into the pitch water. Chakotay stood and helped pull Kathryn to her feet. He wrapped Kathryn in her jacket and put his arm around her. "I don't want to see how this ends." He said as they made there way towards the ship.</p><p>"Maybe the scanners will give us some information on what kind of storm this is." She said over the building wind. She held her arm over her face shielding it from the stinging sand. Chakotay watched as other crewmembers made their way onto this ship.</p><p>Suddenly Chakotay yelled and grabbed his upper arm. "Ahhhh dammit!" He pulled his hand away and reveled a chemical-like burn on his skin scorched through his jacket. Kathryn yelped and pulled away grabbing her shoulder. Chakotay pulled away her hand and she too had a burn running down her arm. "It's the rain!" Chakotay swore as another drop sizzled through the arm of his jacket and onto his skin. They started running, Kathryn holding her arm under her swollen abdomen for support. A drop seared across her cheekbone, cutting into her flesh. More drops burned into them as they made it under the protection of the ship. Kathryn ripped off her jacket, the residue of the drops still burning. Chakotay gingerly touched the burn on her face and she pulled away to inspect his arms and chest.</p><p>"Lets get to sickbay" Kathryn said and pulled Chakotay to the ship’s entrance. It sounded more like an order than a suggestion.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The doctor ran a dermal regenerator over Captain Janeway's face as she looked around at the crew who had also been burned.</p><p>"The rain is made up of a acid plasma gel" The doctor stated with a slightly amused tone as he had never seen anything like it before. Before either of the command team could say anything the sick bay doors opened and Neelix rushed in pulling Kes.</p><p>"Help! Please we need help!" Neelix screamed. The doctor turned and Kathryn slid off of the table as she and Chakotay joined the doctor at their side. Kathryn gasped and held a hand over her mouth when she saw Kes. "She got stuck in the rain!" Neelix gasped as he lowered Kes's almost unrecognizable body to the floor. The acid sprinkle had turned into a full on monsoon and Kes had been wandering the jungle exploring when she got caught in it. Half of her scalp had been burned off; her left eye gone and her face melted revealing white bone underneath. She pulled in ragged breaths and her eye wandered in desperation. The doctor pressed a hyprspray into her neck and Kathryn kneeled down next to her grasping her hand.</p><p>"Kes? Kes? It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay" The captain said as she stroked Kes's right cheek and looked up at the doctor, lips tight holding back tears. The rest of the crew watched in horror as the doctor shook his head with a shattered look. Kes drew in one more ragged breath and she was gone. Chakotay put his arm on Kathryn's shoulder as she stared at the once beautiful young blonds remaining body in its grotesque and mangled shape. Neelix sobbed uncontrollably next to her body and the doctor pulled a medi-blacket over her head. Kathryn reached for Chakotay's hand and he grabbed it holding it tight as she pulled herself up and pressed her body into his chest.</p><p>"Bridge to Captain Janeway" Tuvok's voice penetrated the horrific silence.</p><p>Kathryn swallowed hard and straightened her shoulders. "Go ahead".</p><p>"The plasma storm is breaching our shields and eating into the hull. Inoperable damage in less than ten minutes." He reported.</p><p>"Get us out of here."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay and Kathryn walked through the halls of the ship towards their quarters in silence. Nothing needed or could be said between them. When they got inside Kathryn stripped her clothes and threw them into the trash and ran a scalding bath. Chakotay sat in a chair at the table and stared ahead as he watched the horrible planet shrink away outside of the window. Kathryn lowered herself into the tub and rubbed the hot water on tender pink marks on her skin left from the acid drops. Images of Kes's deformed face plagued her mind and she closed her eyes and splashed the hot water on her face. Emotion over took her and she choked on a sob.</p><p>Chakotay lifted his head up at the sound. "Kathryn?" He stood and started for the bathroom and stopped at the doorway where he saw Kathryn's back heave with silent sobs over their lost friend. He came to the tub and put a towel around her shoulders helping her up and holding her to his chest. Her chest heaved and he held his eyes shut to keep back his own tears. Chakotay helped Kathryn step out of the tub and he led her naked and wet to their bed where she curled under the covers, pressing her face into her pillow. Chakotay ordered off the lights and slid into the bed next to her, holding her as she wept.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The next morning the senior staff met in the debriefing room. There was a despondent silence hanging in the air and Kathryn had to force herself to break it.</p><p>"We will hold a memorial tonight for Kes." She said as she looked into the faces of her officers. "She was a valued member of our crew and a irreplaceable part of this family. She wouldn't want us to cry over death but instead celebrate her life." Kathryn steadied herself, bracing both hands on the large table. "If anyone would like to say a few words you are welcome to and encouraged to do so. In the mean time I want a warning beacon placed in orbit of the planet in warning to any other exploring ship who may stop.</p><p>B'Elanna nodded. "I will get on that right away, captain."</p><p>"How are we doing on dilithium"? Chakotay asked breaking another sorrowing silence.</p><p>"The teams collect 4.3 kilos. We have enough to power us for over 4 thousand light years' Tuvok responded.</p><p>Chakotay nodded, unable to reach for anything else of use to say.</p><p>"Dismissed" Kathryn said sternly, afraid that she would loose it in front of her crew at any moment. The officers took their leave and Chakotay sat in the chair next to her as she swayed on her feet, eyes closed. "I can't get her face out of my mind, Chakotay" She said as she opened her eyes and focused on his face. "The pain she was in…." She held the back of her fingers to her mouth in remembrance of the horrific event.</p><p>"She was such a wonderful spirit. Her death, while painful will not be in vain. She wanted nothing but to be free and explore the vastness that is this galaxy. We owe her to continue on and pursue our journey" Chakotay said as he tried to comfort her, not sure if the words he spoke held any meaning as he felt raw and void on the inside.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Three weeks had passed since Kes's death and the crew was still reeling over the loss. Neelix had locked himself in his quarters and the ship seemed to have lost a bit of its light. Kathryn was plagued by nightmares, images of Kes's mangled face flashing across her minds eye in her sleep. Acid rain burned her skin and she woke up to Chakotay calling her name, sweat pouring from her body. Every night was the same; every morning was a relief.</p><p>"Do you want me to ask the doctor for something to help you sleep?" Chakotay asked as they made there way to the bridge.</p><p>Kathryn shook her head. "I'm fine. It will pass. I don't want to force Kes out of my mind no matter how painful the memory."</p><p>Chakotay nodded as he looked at the dark circles ringing around her eyes. He knew the lack of sleep was getting to her and with only a little over a month until their child arrived he knew she was exhausted.</p><p>The command team made their way onto the bridge and made took their seats. Tom came in a few minutes late and took his place on the helm. "Sorry I'm late" He apologized. Kathryn waved a hand in his direction.</p><p>"Captain" Harry called from his post " long range sensors are picking up a interspace temporal wave off of the port bow"</p><p>"On screen, Mr. Kim". Kathryn said as she lifted her eyes to the screen. Suddenly the black star studded sky was replaced with a magnificent array of swirls and colors. Kathryn pushed herself out of her chair, eyes never leaving the phenomenon. "The birth of a star…" She said quietly. The bridge crew watched as the colors and swirled around, brimming with life as a new star emerged from within it. Kathryn watched in amazement as a single tear ran down her cheek. Kes was with them she thought to herself. She would always be with them.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We are being hailed" Tuvok announced as the bridge crew watched a large ship approach them.</p><p>Captain Janeway pulled herself out of her chair and straightened her shoulders. "On screen."</p><p>"Good day sir. Have we offended you in someway?" Kathryn asked as her hands went to her hips.</p><p>"Reverse course immediately. You have no right to be in Krenim space. Crossing boarders without authorization can result in devastating consequences." The man on screen said with a sneer.</p><p>"I was under the impression we were in Zahl territory."</p><p>"The Zahl are no more. Retreat now and you can avoid the same fate."</p><p>Kathryn looked at Chakotay then back to the Krenim man on screen. "With all do respect, unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning around. But I'm certainly willing to discuss the issue with you." Kathryn said calmly.</p><p>"No discussion! No compromise!" The man yelled at with that the screen went blank.</p><p>"They are in retreat," Tuvok stated.</p><p>"Seems his bark is worse than his bite." Chakotay said with a slight smirk.</p><p>"He seems rather intent. Lets go to yellow alert. Maintain course. Maybe they will leave us alone." Kathryn smiled back at Chakotay as she lowed herself unsteadily into her chair.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn sat on the end of she and Chakotay's bed and groaned, both hands at her lower back working the muscles through her terry-cloth robe. A yellow light flashed over the door as the ship proceeded on the journey through Krenim space.</p><p>Chakotay walked up next to her and kissed her neck. "Back still sore?"</p><p>"Still? It seems that sore is the new normal." She said as she stood and shrugged off her robe and started pulling back the covers of their bed.</p><p>Chakotay stopped and stared at her. Her body, once slim and curvaceous in all of the right places was now soft as it held their ever-growing child. Her back rippled with the movement and he watched her hips meet at the curve of her belly. Her breasts were swollen and her nipples enlarged, she was beautiful and every time he looked at her he had to take a moment to absorb it.</p><p>She caught him starring and pressed her lips together in slight embarrassment. Her body and its changes were having a slight impact on her confidence. She didn't feel that a crew could respect a pregnant woman as their captain. "Chakotay…" She said quietly as she slipped between the covers.</p><p>He removed his own clothes and joined slid into the bed and faced her and she laid her head down on the pillow, her belly between them. "You are beautiful."</p><p>"Well thank you" She smiled.</p><p>"You know, there are not going to be many more times where we have a quiet night alone together.”</p><p>"You're right," She said as she yawned.</p><p>"Don't think you're going to sleep on me now. I can't just admire from afar, I have to touch" He joked.</p><p>She felt a familiar tightening between her legs and she bit her lip. "Who said I was going to sleep?"</p><p>He moved for her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her passionately. Kathryn moved her hands over his chest and arms, feeling his body. He pulled her tightly to him, her belly pressed up against his stomach and chest. He wrapped his hands around her hips and grinded his own into her, teasing himself with her soft skin. She maneuvered her arms below her belly and toyed with him. Lightly touching and stroking, making him want more. That animalistic growl she adored so much started in his throat and she felt herself moisten and her breath caught in her chest. He grew in her hands as she manipulated him. He pressed into her breasts, cupping them as the overflowed his hands. He brought his mouth down her neck and collarbone to the swells of her chest and he tasted her all the way down to her nipples. He sucked and teased them, provoking them as she had done to him.</p><p>Kathryn moaned slightly as Chakotay's mouth ran across her body. She held him in her hands as he firmed to their touch. Suddenly his hand was between her legs, touching the folds of her skin lightly as he beckoned her wetness. He pressed a finger and watched her succumb to the sensation. He flicked his finger over and over feeling her body engorge at the touch. He slid his finger inside of her easily and her body welcomed him. She pressed her-self closer to him as he slid a second finger inside. She squeezed and pulled at him as he toyed with her. He pulled his fingers out and gently pressed his hands to her shoulders, rolling her to her back as he spread her legs with his knee. She pressed her head back into the pillow and closed her eyes in anticipation. He put his hand between his own legs and guided himself into her, slowly as her body engulfed him. They moaned in unison as their bodies became one. He thrust his hips slowly as Kathryn raised hers to meet him. Every fiber of her being was reacting to him, she was on the verge and he knew it. He pulled her thighs up around him as he sat on his knees, pushing into her with his hips. Her hands wrung the sheets, knuckles white as perspiration formed on her forehead. He moved faster, feeling the beginnings of her tightening around him, his own body reacting; his blood flowing. Chakotay arched his back and held on to Kathryn's thighs as his body released into her, his eyes clothed, jaw clenched as he pulsed deep inside. At the same moment Kathryn's body contracted, first in orgasmic pleasure and then into something more. She moaned and her eyes flew open. She twisted her body to her side in an attempt to relieve the sensation. Chakotay fell out of her and he opened his eyes to her sudden movement, her hand clenching her lower back.</p><p>"Kathryn?" He said as he lowered himself closer to her.</p><p>"I'm fine," she said as she let out a breath through her clenched teeth.</p><p>"That doesn't look fine" He ran his hand over her lower back across her hands. "You're not having contractions are you?" He asked suddenly concerned.</p><p>She shook her head as the tightening passed. "No, I think it was a Braxton-Hick. I have been reading about them. Apparently they are quite common in the last month." She informed him as she sat up in bed pulling the sheet up under her chin. "It's fine Chakotay, really" She reassured him as concern spread across his face.</p><p>He moved to sit next to her and placed a hand over the comforter on to her abdomen. "So much for being alone tonight" He laughed as Kathryn burrowed into his arm.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Bridge to Captain Janeway" Harry Kim's voice emerged from the silence as the captain and commander made their way to the bridge in the turbo-lift.</p><p>"Go ahead"</p><p>"The Krenim vessel is back, they are demanding to speak with you".</p><p>"On screen" She answered as the command team stepped out of the turbolift. Chakotay standing right behind Kathryn as she stood, arms crossed.</p><p>"Hello again". She said.</p><p>"You have ignored our warning"! The man on screen seethed.</p><p>"Believe me, we are not your enemy…." She was suddenly interrupted by Harry.</p><p>"Captain, there is a spacial-distortion heading towards us. Whatever it is, its huge. Five light years across and its expanding!"</p><p>"Tracking its origin" Tuvok announced. "It is coming from another Krenim vessel. It appears to be a massive build up of temporal energy. Some kind of space- time shock wave."</p><p>"Tom?" The captain asked as she put a hand on the pilot's shoulder.</p><p>"It's destabilizing our warp field." He said. "I've lost engines!" His voice rose.</p><p>"Shields to full. Secure primary systems. All hands; brace for impact." Janeway ordered as she took her seat.</p><p>The Krenim leader laughed and the screen went back to space view. A massive wave was barreling towards them. Kathryn threw a concerned glance towards Chakotay who returned it as he took his own seat. The wave passed over them, alarms sounded and the ship shook as the now double in size Krenim war ship fired on them.</p><p>"Shields at 17 percent. We are being hailed". Tuvok announced.</p><p>"On screen. We have done nothing to provoke these attacks!" Captain said as she stood and braced herself on the bridge railing.</p><p>"Being in Krenim space is provocation enough" The man smiled.</p><p>"We have been trying to communicate with your vessels but the only answers I get are weapons fire!" She answered back.</p><p>"State your identity."</p><p>"Captain Kathryn Janeway of the federation starship Voyager. We are simply trying to get home. If you would just allow us to pass through we will be on our way."</p><p>"No, you will submit to the Krenim. Surrender now and I will forgo the execution of your crew."</p><p>"I don't respond well to threats" Kathryn's voice rose in irritation.</p><p>"Then prepare to be boarded." The screen went blank.</p><p>"All hands; battle stations". Kathryn clenched her jaw.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The battle had been going on for days. Voyager was taking a beating and the Krenim were relentless. Their weapons were ripping through their shields like they were not even there. There were hull breaches and power shortages on every deck. Their weapons were in a state of temporal flux Tuvok had explained in a senior staff meeting earlier that day. And that was why they were able to breech Voyager's shields. They had evaded the Krenim by going to warm but not without casualties to the ship and crew.</p><p>Kathryn sat at her desk in her ready room, head in her hands. Her bell chimed and she called without lifting her head. "Come.”</p><p>Chakotay walked in. "I have us tactical alert and Tuvok is trying to maneuver our shields to withstand their torpedoes."</p><p>She nodded and arched her back uncomfortably. "We can't keep running like this." She stated. "They are just going to keep firing.” The ship shuddered as another shot ripped through them. Kathryn glanced out of her window and watched as voyager fired back. Small explosions expelled from the Krenim ship and Kathryn was grateful for small victories.</p><p>"Doctor to the captain!" The doctor's voice was frantic.</p><p>"Janeway here".</p><p>"There is a massive power overload in sick bay! We need someone here now!" He called over the comm.</p><p>Kathryn and Chakotay made their way back to the bridge. Kathryn clenched her jaw as her back protested.</p><p>"The power overload is spreading!" Harry called out as the command team took their posts.</p><p>"Can you stop it?" Chakotay asked.</p><p>"No, half of that deck is going to blow in less than five minutes." Harry called back.</p><p>"Doctor, get your people out of there, now! All hands, evacuate deck five!" Chakotay yelled.</p><p>Kathryn held her knuckles to her mouth, her eyes wide at the realization of what was happening to her ship. Smoke and sparks filled the bridge and the Krenim continued to fire. The ship shook violently as deck five exploded. Kathryn and Chakotay were thrown from their chairs. Pain seized Kathryn's lower back as she pulled herself back up. Chakotay ran his hand over hers in concern. She nodded back at him assuredly. The bridge was a mess and the ship was a mess.</p><p>"Report!" Kathryn barked.</p><p>"We have lost sickbay, 2 casualties and multiple injuries. The doctor is setting up a temporary infirmary in the mess hall" Tuvok announced. As conduit fell from the ceiling more sparks exploded from random dashes.</p><p>Kathryn stood and looked around, her back aching distractingly. "I will be in my ready room" She stated blatantly. "You have the bridge" She said without looking at Chakotay. She turned to leave and Chakotay gave Tuvok a look; he nodded in understanding as the commander followed the captain to her ready room.</p><p>He walked in on her climbing over large piles of twisted metal trying to salvage whatever she could. Chakotay pulled her down slowly and gently moved her towards a clear patch on her couch.</p><p>"You have been awake for over 24 hours and I know it has been longer than that since you have eaten." He looked at her face; soot smeared on her cheek, her hair a mess.</p><p>Kathryn gripped the couch under her thigh away from Chakotay's view as a pain ripped through her back, this time it stretched across her abdomen, the muscles clenching tightly. She let out a breath, her knuckles white. "I can't leave the crew at a time like this, Chakotay" She said sternly.</p><p>"I can handle the bridge, I can handle the Krenim. I can not handle a pregnant exhausted captain who has not eaten in two days." He smiled softly at her while rolling his thoughts around in his head. Their strategy wasn't working, and what he had to offer was something the captain was not going to like to hear.</p><p>"The temporal shielding will work. We are gaining more information every time they attack." She said more so as a distraction to herself than to Chakotay, but it was as if she were reading his mind.</p><p>"Kathryn" He sat down next to her. "We need to think about the bigger pictured. She snapped her head up and looked at him. "Soon there isn't going to be a ship to protect." He said rather sternly.</p><p>"We don't have a choice Chakotay!"</p><p>"We can split up the crew, shuttles and escape pods." He offered.</p><p>"You want to abandon ship?" She pulled herself off of the couch and stepped over the smashed glass of her table. Her abdomen clenched and she braced herself on her desk, back facing Chakotay so he couldn't see the grimace on her face. After a moment the pain passed and she turned to face him. "No, we are not leaving this ship. We are stronger together. We fight together. As long as Voyager is in one piece, we stay."</p><p>He nodded. "Then we stay".</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn groaned and pulled her knees to her belly as another wave of pain spread across her back and seared into her abdomen. Chakotay had bargained with her and she promised to get at least five hours of rest before she came back to the bridge. He would have lost the argument is the turbolift had been down, but at that moment she was thankful to be out of the crews view. It had only been three hours and she hadn't been able to get any sleep. The pain was constant, almost every 15 minutes and deep down inside; she knew it wasn't going to stop for a while. She stood up and walked to the window, the firing has seemed to stop but the Krenim ship was still following voyager; like a wolf stalking injured prey. Her ship was limping along and she was in her quarters. She clenched her fists in frustration.</p><p>Pulling her from her daze Chakotay called over the comm.</p><p>"Chakotay to Janeway".</p><p>"Go ahead, commander"</p><p>"I know it is sooner than we talked about, but you're needed on the bridge. Another temporal energy wave is heading our way" Chakotay stated.</p><p>"On my way, commander" She headed towards the door. As soon as the doors opened her abdomen seized, every muscle in her back contracted and a gush of hot fluid poured from between her legs. She gripped the door and gasped, one hand instinctively going to her lower abdomen as the contraction ripped through her. "Oh God…" She whispered and looked up in silent desperation.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kathryn sat on the end of their bed, her mind racing. Her ship was in the middle of a war and now her body decided to wage battle against her as well. She laughed almost sadistically to herself. It was almost too much to comprehend. It had been almost fifteen minutes since her last contraction when her water broke and she knew another one was on the way. She got up and headed towards the bathroom stepping over rubble from their trashed quarters. She cleaned herself up and slipped on a cotton nightgown. There was no way she was going to make it to the bridge. She was reckless but not reckless enough to give birth on the bridge of her ship. She lowered herself to the side of the tub and as the rods of hot pain started in her lower back and spread out around her belly, clasping her tightly in its searing claws. She rocked back and forth slightly and looked up at the ceiling of the small bathroom, hands grasping the tub as the pain peaked and then receded back to its depths.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay sat in the command chair and watched as the wave barreled towards them and their enemy. It was going to hit them no matter what they did. They could continue running but they would just be chased.</p><p>"All hands, brace for impact!" He called. He ran a hand over the week old scruff on his face. The captain should have made it to the bridge by now; he worried to himself.</p><p>The waves poured over them and the ship shuddered. Chakotay was thrown from the chair as other crewmembers hit the ground around him. He pulled himself up and watched in amazement as the Krenim ship in front of them shrank to a pre-warp vessel.</p><p>"Report!"</p><p>"Shields holding at 12 percent. It seems that the Krenim ship has reverted back to its former state. Their weapon signature is almost non existent" Tuvok announced.</p><p>Chakotay let out a sigh. They could fight off the less threatening ship and get back on course before another wave altered anything else. He tapped his commbadge. "Bridge to Captain Janeway."</p><p>"Janeway here."</p><p>"The wave has passed us, the Krenim ship has reverted back to its original state. We need you down here." Guilt pricked at him. He knew she needed the rest, but they were almost out of this, she needed to be there.</p><p>"Having a little trouble with that at the moment, commander." The captain answered, and Chakotay thought he could hear concern in her voice. His eyes flashed with apprehension for the captain. He wavered on what he should do. The crew needed direction, what to do next, but something wasn't right with Kathryn. He needed to go to her.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn moaned and doubled over the bed as a contraction ripped threw her body; they were becoming more frequent and more powerful. She wrapped her hands in the comforter of the bed and pulled as her legs threatened to give out on her. She dipped down to her knees and pressed her head into the base of the bed. Her back felt like her spine was being twisted and her abdomen clenched, rock hard around her baby. Her thighs were sticky and wet as her body was preparing for the exit of her child. She coughed as she fought to pull air into her lungs as the pain washed over her. As it receded she turned around and leaned against the bed, pulling her legs up, bracing the floor with her hands. The ship shuddered and she craned her neck to see the Krenim ship fire upon Voyager. She swore under her breath as she watched another, full size Krenim ship join the smaller one. She pushed herself up and grabbed her commbadge from off of the bed, panting at the effort.</p><p>"Janeway to the bridge" She breathed trying to keep her voice clear.</p><p>"Go ahead, captain" Chakotay answered, relief evident in his answer.</p><p>"Get us out of here, Chakotay, we can't afford another assault."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"We were just discussing tactics, captain. The Krenim war ship does not have warp capability above warp 6, we can out run them and get out of the temporal flux but we are at risk of loosing the main hull." Chakotay waited for an answer that never game. Anxiety crept back into his gut.</p><p>"The krenim are powering up torpedoes" Tuvok announced.</p><p>"Tom. Get us out of here, warp 6."</p><p>Tom nodded and plotted the points and the ship lurched into warp.</p><p>"They are not following" Harry announced with a smile on his face.</p><p>"But we are loosing the main hull. Structural breech in less than a minute". Tuvok informed the bridge.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn watched from the window as Voyager entered warp but knew the ship was struggling to maintain it. It shuddered and shook as the hull tore from the main body of the ship. She turned her head and closed her eyes as her own body shook from another contraction. Her legs trembled uncontrollably and she felt a shift in her abdomen as the baby started to make its decent. She pressed her lips together to keep a moan from escaping her throat as her back contorted in pain. A ringing began in her ears and she thought for a moment she was going to lose consciousness. But at the last second the pain that clawed at her body quieted again and she had a few precious moments to breathe. She ran a hand between her legs feeling her body relax and open, she pulled her hand away slick with fluid and blood. She needed Chakotay. She pressed her back into the bed again and turned her face into the comforter allowing a few tears to escape. She couldn't feel sorry for herself, but the pain was becoming unbearable and fear was welling up inside of her. She didn't want to do this alone, but the ship needed him more, and she accepted that.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"We can't take much more of this!" Tom called out as the ship reverberated a thundering noise as it literally tore apart around them.</p><p>"Slow to impulse" Chakotay called out and the ship seemed to sag when it slowed.</p><p>"There is a class 9 nebula one light year away. We can make it and use it as a shield while we make repairs to the ship. The Krenim will no be able to detect us from inside." Tuvok explained.</p><p>Chakotay nodded and clapped on Tom's shoulder. And he maneuvered the wounded ship towards the nebula. The commander rung his hands as the ship slid into the pinkish gas and slowed to a stop. "Get repair teams to every deck and survey the damage. Primary systems up first and move down from there. I want to be out of here in 24 hours." Chakotay ordered. He couldn't handle it any longer. He hadn't heard from Kathryn in over three hours. The ship was secure, at least for now. "You have the bridge" He said towards Tuvok as he made his way out of the doors.</p><p>Chakotay punched the wall in frustration when the turbolift failed to move. He should have anticipated it but it infuriated him. His anger propelled him as he started up a Jeffries tube.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Her skin was pulling, tearing, and there was an overwhelming burning sensation that started low and rolled up into her back and shoulders. She was soaked, her body working over time as she struggled to bring forth her child. She grasped at the floor wildly with both hands, her lip bleeding from where she had bit almost straight through it. Blood and fluid poured out of her and she slammed her head back into the bed frame as her voice left her body in a roar that was unfamiliar to her. The air from her chest left and she fought to bring it back, she coughed and nearly gagged as she struggled. Her body was becoming something foreign, a machine gone erratic and she was at a loss of what to do. "Chakotay!" She cried unable to control herself. Again she reached her hand between her legs but this time she felt solidity behind her hot flesh. Her baby's head was starting to emerge.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay pulled himself out of the Jeffries tube and ran toward their quarters. He jumped over debris, fractured metal and trashed conduit. The overhead lights flickered and threatened to go out. He nearly slammed into the door as punched in the pad. The door didn't open. He wedged his fingers between the gaps and pried them apart. He wedged his body threw. "Kathryn?"</p><p>"Chakotay!" Kathryn gasped and nearly lost all control when he rounded the bed.</p><p>He stared down at her, his voice lost at the site. Blood smeared the floor under her, as she sat soaked in perspiration, her back pressed against the bed, one leg pulled up to her chest, the other stretched out. Her face streaked from sweat and tears and soot from the day's battle. She held out a hand and he crouched down and clasped it between both of his. "Oh Kathryn" He said, as he kissed her forehead and moved her hair out of her face. She didn't have time to answer when another contraction overtook her. Her whole body clenched and she gritted her teeth, a moan started deep inside her and exited as almost a howl. Her free hand grasped at the bed and Chakotay ran a hand down her belly and between her legs. Between her flesh, he felt the soft yet hard skull of their child. He smiled and looked down at Kathryn. "The baby is right there Kathryn, you're almost there."</p><p>Kathryn pushed, her chin pressed to her chest, the foot of her out stretched leg flexed and her body shuddered. Chakotay pressed around her and felt the baby move further down between her legs. She gasped as the contraction ended and another started again. She moved her own hand down near Chakotay's and felt the tautness of her skin as the baby pressed and pushed at the opening. She felt hair and a smile escaped her lips. She pushed again and tears poured down her face as she baby moved, its forehead emerging, stretching her tight. Her body seared like a white flame and she dug her nails into her own thigh. She pushed into the pain as Chakotay held his hand firm below their child's head. She called out, unable to contain the pressure that was building inside of her. Chakotay leaned in and whispered into her ear, kissing her neck and egging her on.</p><p>"Almost, just a bit more". He tried to be reassuring, when in fact he was terrified. He had never seen the captain in this kind of pain. She had become almost animalistic as she fought to bring their child into the world. He let go of her hand and put it above the baby's head, guiding it as its eyes emerged from Kathryn's flesh. She groaned and tore into the bed spread as she pushed, pulling her other leg up to her chest, opening her hips as the baby's nose and mouth passed. Her body tightened around the baby's neck and she ran her fingers delicately over the child's face. She maneuvered her body so she was holding her weight on one side, bracing herself with her hand, almost lifting her body as she bore down. A shoulder slowly emerged as blood and fluid oozed around it.</p><p>"Chakotay!" Kathryn called as her body stirred as if to get away from the pain. Chakotay crouched between her legs as the other shoulder moved into view. Her skin tore and blood swirled beneath her as the baby slipped into Chakotay's awaiting hands. Kathryn gasped and looked down as he placed the wet child on her chest. Its little arms flailed against the cold and it opened its mouth wide, making its first protest of anger. Kathryn felt between its legs. "She's a girl" A small laugh escaped her lips as she used her free arm to push herself up against the bed. Chakotay was speechless as he pulled down the bedding, putting the comforter over Kathryn and the baby, then bunching up a sheet and pressing it between her legs to stanch the blood flow from the tear. "She's so small" Kathryn said as she looked at her daughter.</p><p>"Three weeks early, she's perfect, Kathryn" Chakotay said as he slid next to her, propping her up on his arm and chest. Kathryn unbuttoned her gown and held the squalling newborn to her breast. Chakotay reached over and helped guided her eager mouth to Kathryn's nipple. In no time at all she was latched and quiet. Kathryn leaned her head back against Chakotay's shoulder, her eyes heavy. Chakotay leaned forward and moved the sheet from between Kathryn's leg to check the bleeding. It had not slowed but it was not aggressive, Chakotay was confident she would be okay until they called the doctor. The doctor? "Kathryn?" He touched her cheek. "Why didn't you call the doctor?"</p><p>"So many of the crew hurt, he was needed in the mess hall. We managed just fine. Didn't we?" She asked her nursing daughter. Kathryn moved her leg and winced. She was sore, her body ached, but she felt regenerated, recharged, until she was hit by another contraction. Not as strong, but it moved with a purpose. "Chakotay…" She looked at him with concern as her back tightened. He steadied her as she pushed herself up with her free arm, shifting her weight. The pressure of the muscles moving clamped down around her uterus and expelled the placenta. Chakotay wrapped it in a towel and set it aside for the doctor.</p><p>"Let's get you to the bed okay?" He crouched down as Kathryn handed him the baby. He laid her down on the bed and she screamed in protest. Kathryn's groin ached at the sound. Chakotay helped her shakily to her feet and she slid onto the bed, replacing her daughter back to her breast. Chakotay moved to the bed next to her and tapped him commbadge. "Chakotay to the Doctor".</p><p>"What can I do for you commander?"</p><p>"When you have a moment, can you come to the captain's quarters? We have a new crew member who needs her first physical." Chakotay put his finger to his little girl's hand and she instinctively wrapped her tiny fingers around it. He kissed Kathryn's moist head as she leaned against him. The pink light of the class nine nebula welcomed their little girl in a glow that surrounded the three of them.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Everything looks perfect" The doctor announced as he tucked the comforter around Kathryn and baby. "Six pounds it's a healthy weight for her gestation, and she is eating heartily. Captain, your stitches will dissolve within the next ten days." Chakotay stood at the edge of the bed beaming. "Call me if you have any concerns or questions, I am just a transport away."</p><p>Kathryn nodded, never taking her eyes off of her daughter. "Thank you, doctor.” Her fingers gently traced across the baby's eyebrows. The doctor nodded at Chakotay, tapped his mobile emitter and dematerialized.</p><p>Chakotay sat down on the bed and placed a hand on Kathryn's thigh. "Are you okay?"</p><p>She looked up at him and nodded. "Oh, yes. Just perfect." She smiled.</p><p>"She needs a name.”</p><p>Kathryn nodded again, shifted her weight and bit her lip at the discomfort, she had torn significantly and had 15 stitches. "Has anything come to you?"</p><p>"Not yet. Maybe she will tell us later." Chakotay watched as their daughter drifted off into a milk-induced sleep. He could tell Kathryn was uncomfortable and he eyed her as she shifted her weight again.</p><p>"Can I hold her? You can get cleaned up…"</p><p>Kathryn nodded and Chakotay gently placed his hands under the bundle of a baby and pressed her to his chest. He moved her to one arm and with his free hand helped Kathryn out of the bed. He made sure she was steady on her feet before her let go of her arm. She stood for a moment, eyes closed. She swayed a bit and he grabbed her bicep. "I'm okay," She said with a hand on Chakotay's arm, looking at their daughter. She made her way to the bathroom and stripped out of the soiled nightgown and left it in a heap. She ran a bath and stepped gingerly into the hot water. Her body protested as the hot water covered her skin. She gently washed away the blood on her thighs and rested her back against the tub. Her body was sore and felt empty without the baby inside of her. But she couldn't help the bit of pride that welled up in her chest. She had created a beautiful child with dark haired and a light soul, just like her father. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay was welcomed back to the bridge with congratulations and slaps on the back. It was hard for him to be back at work, leaving Kathryn alone with the baby, but she had practically delivered her herself and he knew he didn't need to worry. He also knew better than to take her threat of coming to the bridge herself if he didn't lightly. The ship was still a wreck. Repair crews had worked through the night and into the next day doing whatever they could to get the injured ship back on track. The nebula swirled around them as it protected them from the sensors of enemy ships. Chakotay worked along the crew with repairs. He made his way around the bridge working on what he could and assisting others when he needed it. He made his way down to engineering and watched as B'Elanna worked feverishly on the core. She took a moment to hug him and congratulate him on their new crewmember.</p><p>"How is the captain?" She asked as she crouched back down under a consol.</p><p>"She's good. She was strong."</p><p>"Were you expecting anything different?"</p><p>"Not really. But she never ceases to amaze me."</p><p>The half Klingon smiled up at the commander. "Hand me that coupler, dad…." She laughed as he handed her the tool. "Things are going to change around here".</p><p>"They already have."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay sat in the command chair as Voyager pulled out of the Nebula. It had been over 24 hours and the gasses had started to become more of a problem than it was worth staying for. The hull was still badly damaged but warp was back on and shields were at 100 percent.</p><p>"Maintain warp 4, Tom. Lets see how she handles it. We need to work on getting out of Krenim space.".</p><p>Tom nodded and adjusted the settings on his dash.</p><p>Chakotay tapped his commbadge. "Bridge to engineering."</p><p>"Torres here.”</p><p>"How is the core holding up?"</p><p>"So far, so good. I will let you know if we run into any problems but we should be okay at this speed." The chief engineer answered.</p><p>"Tuvok?" Chakotay asked as he looked over at the Vulaca.</p><p>"Shields are holding, hull is maintaining. Nothing on long wave sensors."</p><p>"Good! Lets hope everything stays that way," Chakotay said as he leaned into the chair. He needed a good report to give to the captain.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay slipped into their quarters as quietly as he could as soon as his shift was over. The lights were dimmed and he stepped into the room towards the bed. Kathryn was asleep on her back and the baby slept soundly on her chest. His movement caused Kathryn to stir and she opened her eyes, focusing on him.</p><p>"Chakotay" She smiled and eyed the sleeping baby. "Can you help me? I am trapped.”</p><p>Chakotay kneeled on the bed and lifted his sleeping daughter and held her in his arms. Kathryn pushed herself off of the bed and into a standing position. She walked over to the pair and Chakotay lowered his head as Kathryn kissed his neck.</p><p>Chakotay sat on the bed as Kathryn went to the bathroom. He gazed at the sleeping face of his daughter and walked towards the bathroom door. "What do you think about, Shannon?"</p><p>Kathryn looked up at his reflection in the mirror as she fiddled with her hair. "Really?" She turned and looked at the pair.</p><p>"She looks like a Shannon.”</p><p>Kathryn smiled. "She does, doesn't she? Already the explorer. Shannon. It's perfect, thank you Chakotay."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn spent the next three weeks in a dream-like state with Shannon. Chakotay had the ship back into safe space and it was running almost perfectly. Kathryn felt like she had finally let go and could enjoy not worrying about being a captain for a while and focus on their daughter. But she was getting restless. She made daily walks through the ship, introducing Shannon to the crew and stretching her legs, but it she was cramped. She lay on the bed and watched Shannon softly mew in her sleep. She placed her hand gently on the baby's belly, comforting her as she slept. Once Shannon quieted down Kathryn closed her own eyes forcing her-self to try and get some sleep before she had to nurse again.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay sat on the bridge in silence. All he wanted was to be with his little family, and he knew Kathryn was ready to be captain again. She was a terrific mother and Shannon was thriving, but the captain was still the captain and she was becoming restless. They had talked at length about when she would return to work, and she agreed to start back slowly in another two weeks after her body had time to heal a bit more and Shannon could go for longer intervals without her. Chakotay knew the next few weeks would be long and he wracked his brain for ideas. "Tom, join me in the captain's ready room" He stood and exited the bridge while a confused Tom followed.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Chakotay, what are you up to?" Kathryn asked with slight annoyance and she shifted Shannon to her other arm as the small family made their way to the turbo lift.</p><p>"You'll see." He smiled as she shook her head. They ended up at the hollodeck and Chakotay gave orders to the computer. "Computer, run Chakotay Alpha 571 program 1."</p><p>"Chakotay Alpha 571 program 1 is now in progress" The computer replied.</p><p>Chakotay held out his arm. "After you.”</p><p>Kathryn walked through the double doors of the hollodeck and was met with warm sun and a sweet breeze. She looked around her and smiled at the site. Indiana. The rows of corn swayed in the breeze as birds flew overhead. Kathryn walked towards a small lake where a windmill turned. "Chakotay!" She put a hand on his chest. "How did you do this?"</p><p>"I had a little help," He said as he lead her around the lake towards a clearing under a huge oak. He helped her sit and he wrapped his arms around her and Shannon. "I thought you could get a little taste of home."</p><p>Kathryn watched the water lap at the grassy shore. Children ran in and out of an old farmhouse and the smell of diesel fuel was faint as the sound of a tractor chugged in the background. Shannon looked around with her big brown eyes, interested in the new sounds and sights. Kathryn leaned into Chakotay and closed her eyes, the breeze dancing across her face. She sighed "thank you…. Really."</p><p>"You're more than welcome" He said as he ran a hand gently over Shannon's dark head of hair. He kissed Kathryn's temple and looked out across the lake.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Life was starting to feel normal again. Kathryn was back on the bridge almost full-time and Shannon was growing like a weed. B'Elanna had modulated a hologram as a sort of live in nanny for Shannon when her parents were both on duty, so far it seemed to be working well and Kathryn was enjoying her double life as ship captain and mother.</p><p>The captain sat in her command chair, watching as her ship scanned a small planet for resources. It was getting close to lunchtime and she felt her body engorge. She knew she only had a little bit of time left until she had to make a beeline to feed her daughter. She already had one too many mishaps on the bridge for her liking, it wasn't every day a crew takes orders from a leaky captain, but at least they had all been mature about it. "Any dilithium?" She asked hopefully. Their stock was down, again.</p><p>"Sensors are picking up traces, but it does not seem like enough to make a mission for it." Tuvok answered. Kathryn could swear she saw disappointment in Harry's eyes. The crew was getting cabin fever, she understood all too well.</p><p>"Should we risk it?" Chakotay asked her with a glint in his eye.</p><p>Kathryn sighed and felt a pull in her chest. "You make the call commander.”  She stood up hastily. "You have the bridge." She said as she made her way towards the turbolift doors.</p><p>"Harry, get an away team started" Chakotay said as he watched the captain disappear with a smile on his face.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Shannon was awake and hungry when Kathryn arrived. The baby was growing fast, and at three months was already a hefty 10lbs. Kathryn deactivated the hologram nanny and undid her jacket, talking to Shannon the entire time. The baby started to nurse and Kathryn let her head rest against the back of her chair and she closed her eyes.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"No life signs" Harry called over the comm from down below on the small planet.</p><p>"Head on back, we got what we could, lets get moving." Chakotay ordered and took his seat in the command chair.</p><p>"Yes sir" Harry responded and the comm went dark.</p><p>Chakotay paced the bridge and sighed. He was disappointed for the crew, it had been so long since they had been able to leave the ship and the last time had been disastrous with the loss of Kes and the plasma rain. The holodeck provided only so much relief; even his small family had started to get bored of it. Planets and systems were beginning to become fewer and farther apart and he knew Kathryn was worried about the ships resources. They had a good amount stocked up, but long-range scanners were not picking up a thing as far as they could reach. The away team returned with a bit of dilithium and a few other elements of interest but there was nothing on the planet to keep them in orbit so they continued on into the blackness that was becoming the delta quadrant.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Shannon squalled on Kathryn's chest waking her up. The captain changed her daughter and fed her again, glancing at the time irritated that she had allowed herself to fall asleep. Shannon settled down and Kathryn reactivated the holo-nanny, kissed her daughter and made her way to the bridge.</p><p>"Captain on the bridge" Harry dutifully announced as Kathryn made her way down to the command chair. She couldn't help but noticed the blackness on the view screen as she took her seat. She glanced at Chakotay.</p><p>"There is nothing out there" Chakotay said with a slightly worried tone.</p><p>Kathryn furrowed her brows and her eyes darted from Chakotay to the screen and back to the commander. "Tuvok?" She called.</p><p>"It seems we are entering some sort of space, void of any material. There is no way around it, it goes further than our sensors can read." Tuvok announced.</p><p>"Can we make it?" Kathryn asked Chakotay.</p><p>"I don't think we have much of a choice. That small planet didn't give us much. We should have enough stocked up but we are going to need to cut back on anything that uses energy." He answered.</p><p>Kathryn nodded. "Make it happen." She sat back in her chair and looked out into the blackness. An unsettling feeling made its way into her gut and she swallowed it back rubbing her damp palms on her thighs. Her thoughts shifted to Shannon, sleeping in their quarters. She looked over at Chakotay as her anxiety rose and she bit her lip to suppress as she felt her pulse rise in her ears. "I will be in my ready room" she said quickly and disappeared behind the doors. Once inside she leaned over her desk, bracing herself with one hand as the other ran over her face. She pulled in a deep breath and made her way to her chair. She pulled up computer towards her and typed in a few commands and the screen flashed to a video of their quarters. Shannon was awake, rolling around on a blanket on the floor with the holo-nanny wiggling toys at her egging her to move forward. Kathryn's anxiety receded at the sight of her daughter but it had not left her. She held her head in her hands and forced herself to focus. She glanced at the black outside her window and silently hoped it would end soon.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay sat on their bed and wrapped a wet and squirming baby in a towel. He held her to his chest and breathed her in. He never knew babies could smell so good and his daughter was intoxicating. He glanced over at Kathryn who was sitting at the table staring out the window into nothingness. "Kathryn?"</p><p>She jumped slightly and looked towards Chakotay and Shannon. "I'm sorry" her lips lifting into a slight smile as Chakotay pulled the towel over Shannon's head. "I can't seem to get over this feeling of anxiety." She got up and sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand down her daughter's chubby thigh. "It started when we entered the void."</p><p>Chakotay watched her with a sympathetic look. "Its just another bump in our road, we have gone through worse and come out of the other side." He said as he struggled to maneuver Shannon into her pajamas.</p><p>"I know" she nodded. "But this time feels different, I can't shake it. This feeling of restlessness is unnerving." She confessed with a sigh.</p><p>"Your maternal instincts may have something to do with it" Chakotay suggested. "The biological need to protect your child."</p><p>"And here we are, completely out of control." She looked into his rich brown eyes, half pleading for his wisdom that she so desperately needed.</p><p>"You never lost control. From the moment she was born you have been in total control. And you will continue to be. Kathryn, you are the captain of a ship, you have fought terrors and horrors that to some seem like only that of nightmares. You will get us all through this."</p><p>Kathryn pursed her lips. She was grateful for his confidence in her but she was unconvinced. The rock in the pit of her stomach didn't budge. Her eyes flicked towards the window. The absence of stars and space matter was unnerving and she forced herself to look away. She crawled up next to Chakotay as Shannon quieted down on his chest. She leaned her head on his shoulder and stroked her daughters back as she drifted off to sleep.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Three weeks had passed and voyager glided through the blackness like a ship on glass water. The crew was becoming antsy as cabin fever started to set in. The lack of scenery was proving to make a larger impact on them than had been anticipated. The captain was fighting her own demons. Her anxiety had turned into full-blown panic attacks. She had not left their quarters in over a week and just the thought of letting Shannon out of her sight caused her heart to seize and her breath to catch. Chakotay managed the bridge just fine but his mind was always on Kathryn, it was so unlike her to struggle with her emotions like this.</p><p>Long-range sensors were not picking up anything anywhere around them and they continued on into the pitch darkness hoping for a break. Nothing happened, there was nothing to do. The crew sat at their stations and stared; all repairs that could be done were done, all maintenance was done, the ship was silent and almost eery.</p><p>Chakotay sat in the command chair, his knee jumping up and down. The bridge crew was half asleep from boredom at their posts and he was consumed by his thoughts. He got up and left the bridge to head of security- Tuvok and made his way to the quarters he shared with Kathryn. He tapped the keypad and the doors slid open. The large room was quiet and Chakotay knew instinctively that his daughter was sleep. He slipped inside and headed towards the captain who was standing at the window.</p><p>"You okay?" He asked quietly. She turned to look at him. Her long hair was down around her face, unkempt and in waves. Her eyes rimmed by dark circles and her jaw locked tight as it did whenever her emotions tried to get the best of her. He had noticed over the last week or so that she had lost weight and it was evident now in her face. She didn't answer him, just stared at him, or almost… past him. "Kathryn, have you eaten?" She shook her head and turned back to the window. "You know…."</p><p>She held her hand up- silencing him, a classic Captain Janeway mannerism. "Please don't lecture me, Chakotay." Her voice stern but wavered.</p><p>Chakotay suppressed his irritation. "Fine, then what about Shannon? You're still breast-feeding. If you're not eating, you can't feed her." His voice rose.</p><p>"Thank you, I know. She's getting fed; she is healthy. I am taking care of her." Kathryn snapped at him.</p><p>"You need to start taking care of yourself. And I do not mean just eating. You need to get out of here. Move around, see the crew, do something."</p><p>"Do something? Really Chakotay? I am raising our daughter! What do you think I am doing?"</p><p>"You're hiding. I don't know from what but whatever it is, it has total control over you." Chakotay didn't try to hide his irritation this time and his own anger reflected back from the captain's eyes.</p><p>Kathryn looked defeated and Chakotay watched her visibly deflate in front of him. She put a hand to her forehead and moved some stray hair. "You really have no idea do you?" Her voice seethed. "Why the hell do you think we are here? Why a whole ship of people is stranded 60 years from home? I did this. I did this to them. And now we are out here with nothing to do but think about that home we may never see again!"</p><p>"We made a choice…"</p><p>"No. I made that choice. And look where it got us."</p><p>"Kathryn, if you hadn't had made that choice would we have Shannon? Would we have each other?"</p><p>She looked like she had been kicked in the stomach. "Shannon.” She whispered.</p><p>Chakotay took hold of her shoulders and looked at her face. "You have to stop this. The crew needs you, Shannon needs you, I need you, Kathryn!"</p><p>Kathryn looked alarmed and pulled herself out of the firm grip. "I can't control this, Chakotay. This paralyzing anxiety, its consumed me, suffocating me."</p><p>"We can talk to the doctor, we can get you help. You can't continue to live like this."</p><p>She looked embarrassed. The captain didn't show weakness and here she was, unable to leave her quarters, wracked with guilt over her ship and crew and paralyzed with fear over her daughter. Her mind raced as she tried to make an excuse, but it was too late, she knew he was right.</p><p>"Will you please come with me for dinner at the mess hall? We can activate the holo-nanny. One hour, you and me, the crew will be encouraged when they see you, you will feel better. You have to get out, you have to eat."</p><p>She ran a hand through her hair and nodded slowly.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Fifteen minutes later Chakotay and a well-pressed captain made their way to the mess hall. Random crewmembers nodded their acknowledgements and Kathryn did the same as they walked the corridors. Anxiety swam in the captains gut and tension held tight to her head and shoulders. Her mouth was dry as she swallowed trying to keep her composure. They should have brought Shannon. What if she needed her? Chakotay eyed the captain and continued walking. They entered the mess hall where a few members of the crew sat scattered. They took their usual table and sat down. Neelix appeared out of nowhere, his cheerfulness irritated Kathryn but she returned the conversation with professionalism and ordered whatever Chakotay was having. Her mind continued to jump to Shannon as her eyes darted past Chakotay's head towards the black window.</p><p>"Do you want to trade seats?" He asked, kicking himself for not taking the chair facing the windows. She shook her head. "She's fine, she won't be up for another hour." He said knowing where the captain's mind was.</p><p>The overwhelming feeling of panic was starting to wash over her. She felt out of control, half embarrassed and half terrified. Her fists clenched and flexed, jaw tight as she fought back the wave of panic. "Maybe we should check in…." She suggested, trying anything to calm her nerves. Chakotay looked at her, but before he could answer she tapped her comm. "Janeway to HNU". She waited for a reply, but none came. She tapped the badge again. "Captain to holographic nanny unit" Her voice rose and eyes widened in alarm when there wasn't an answer.</p><p>"Kathryn!" Chakotay tried to grab her arm as she pushed back from the table, knocking over the chair, half running out of the mess hall. Crewmembers looked up in alarm as their captain left in a dash. Chakotay followed at a jog and caught up with her at the turbo lift. Her face was white and her voice stoic as she commanded the lift to their deck. Her hand pressed her comm and she called to the holo-nanny once more. Again there was no answer and Chakotay watched as the captain was crumbling before his eyes. He didn't know what to say, there wasn't anything to say. The lift opened and Kathryn ran to their quarters, Chakotay at her heels. She slammed her fingers to the pad and opened the door, snapping her head to look around the dim room. A noise came from the bathroom and she ran towards it.</p><p>"Shannon!"</p><p>"Captain Janeway, back so soon?" The pretty blonde HNU smiled up at the command team as she bent over the bathtub rinsing off a sudsy baby girl who smiled up at the sight of her parents. A half sob escaped from Kathryn as she shoved the young woman out of the way and pulled the wet naked baby to her chest. "Captain?" The woman asked alarmed.</p><p>"Computer, deactivate ENU" Chakotay called and the woman disappeared. He turned and watched as Kathryn clutched their daughter and sat on the end of the bed, her shoulders shaking and her eyes closed tightly. "We have to talk to the doctor." He said as he wrapped a towel around Shannon and tucked it under Kathryn's arms knowing she wasn't going to be letting the baby go any time soon.</p><p>Kathryn opened her eyes and tears threated to escape her steel blues as she nodded in agreement.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Captain Janeway bit on the fingernail of her thumb as she sat on a bio-bed and watched the doctor scan her body with his medical tricorder. Chakotay stood to the side with Shannon and watched with a slight look of amusement. Kathryn hated being the object of the doctor's focus and her irritancy grew by the minute.</p><p>"Well…" The doctor started.</p><p>"Well?" The captain asked rather quickly.</p><p>"Aside from some weight loss, lack of sleep and dehydration you are in relatively good health…. Physically. "</p><p>"Physically." She echoed him.</p><p>"From everything you and commander Chakotay have been telling me; it seems you are suffering from panic attacks and acute anxiety."</p><p>Kathryn huffed. "Doctor, I know what I am suffering from, but why now? Why so suddenly?"</p><p>"She was just fine a few weeks ago" Chakotay added.</p><p>"It seems to me that you are suffering from post-partum depression and a possible case of PTSD." He doctor announced.</p><p>"PTSD?" Kathryn shot her eyes at the hologram, surprised by his diagnoses.</p><p>"Captain, over the last four years you have been involved in countless mental and physical traumas. While you have handled everything remarkably well in the past, it is clear that you have compartmentalized much of the experiences. Your maternal instincts have heightened your fear and protective drive causing you to panic over situations that you normally would not panic over."</p><p>Chakotay and Janeway stared at him. Kathryn sighed and rubbed her head. "What can we do?"</p><p>"In a perfect world I would tell you to take time off, speak with a counselor and clear your mind…." He trailed off when the captain gave him a look. "But we can try a different approach. The chemicals in your brain are out of balance. We can try some medication to see if we can realign them. But in my honest opinion captain, the whole ship is depressed; this blackness has caused much disarray to the mental health of the crew. Medication alone is not going to be a cure.”</p><p>"There isn't much we can do about that at the moment" Chakotay spoke up, eyeing the captain with concern. It frustrated him that the situation wasn't going to get better. The captains fears and anxiety were always going to be fueled by voyager's situation. He knew her mind was always on Shannon and her well-being. The seemingly endless void was not helping and was in reality, making things much worse. He shifted his daughter to his shoulder as quietly as he could, she had fallen asleep and he wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>"The daily mediation will help, and I can give you some pocket hypro-sprays for panic attacks. But a lot of your recovery is going to be difficult, giving our present situation."</p><p>Kathryn nodded. "Fine, lets get this started."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Voyagers journey through the darkness continued. Two weeks after her first visit with the doctor, Captain Janeway was making progress with her panic attacks. But, like clock work- new concerns were popping up all over the ship. Kathryn and the doctor discussed her condition and they both agreed for her to start back on light duty, making sure not to push herself past her mental limit. She allowed her mind to wander to Shannon and their situation but she always made sure to keep herself busy. She sat in her ready-room reviewing PADD maps and routs through the void when the chime rang.</p><p>"Come in."</p><p>"Captain" B'Elanna made her way towards the captain's desk.</p><p>Kathryn smiled a sincere smile when she saw her chief of engineering. "B'Elanna, please sit down."</p><p>The half Klingon woman sat across from the captain and returned the smile. "Glad to see you back."</p><p>"Me too". Kathryn folded her hands over her desk. "Always nice to see you, what can I do for you?"</p><p>"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we have used the last of the dilthium and are starting on the reserves. We have about a four weeks supply, after that, we are done." She handed the captain a PADD with the documentation on it.</p><p>Kathryn read it, her face etched with concern. "Thank you, B'Elanna….." She trailed off.</p><p>"Captain. We have options, and we could be out of here before then." The young woman reassured the captain.</p><p>Kathryn nodded. "How are you holding up?"</p><p>"Me? Just fine. Keeping busy. Its weird though, its almost like we are not moving."</p><p>"I know what you mean." The captain agreed with her.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>The senior staff sat at the meeting table a few hours later. They were discussing options regarding their current situation.</p><p>"What about the delta flyer?" Tom Paris asked during a moment of silence as the officers sat in their own thoughts.</p><p>"What about it?" Chakotay asked back.</p><p>"The flyer doesn't take near the amount of dilithium as voyager, she is already prepped and can go further on less. Why not take a scouting team, see what we can find?"</p><p>"We have no idea where this void ends. At the very least we could have two ships stranded." Tuvok gave his opinion.</p><p>"That goes both ways, Tuvok." Harry said boldly. "With all due respect… what do we have to lose?"</p><p>Janeway looked around the table at her senior staff. She nodded. "It doesn't hurt to try. Tom, Harry, get some preliminary plans for me by tomorrow. We can get you out and scouting. But only until you reach the point where you have enough energy to come back. Lets not make Tuvok's worse case scenario a reality.</p><p>Paris smiled triumphantly "Yes, Captain!"</p><p>"Keep your heads up. We have been through worse and we will get through this. Dismissed." Janeway pushed herself back from the table and turned to look at the inky black from the window. B'Elanna was right, if she didn't know, she would have thought the ship was floating around at a standstill. She was grateful for her crew's optimism and she hoped Tom's plan would work. It had to work.</p><p>Chakotay made his way beside her after the officers left. He placed a large hand on the small of her back and felt her sigh. "I believe you. So does the crew."</p><p>"I am not sure I believe it myself, but what other choice do I have? I can't allow myself to fall back down into that spiral."</p><p>Chakotay smiled down at her. "I won't let that happen."</p><p>"I know." She rested her head on his chest for a moment before straightening herself, pulling at her jacket. "Shall we?"</p><p>"After you" He motioned his arm towards the door and followed the captain to the bridge.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay watched Kathryn sitting crossed legged on the floor of their quarters playing with their four-month-old daughter. He had never seen her look more comfortable than he did when she was spending time with Shannon. It was as if the ship and the stress melted away and she was transported home. Though he often had to remind himself, voyager was home now. The captain and Shannon, they were home. Maybe it was denial Kathryn was fighting, she had given her word that she would get the ship home and she was not known to break her word. And he knew the possibility of not making it back was very real. But for tiny moments she could forget her responsibilities as captain and enjoy motherhood. "She looks like you". Chakotay mused.</p><p>"What?" She held the baby up and looked at her. "This head of dark hair? These dark eyes? She's all yours Chakotay. If I had not birthed her myself I would doubt my part in her." She laughed and tickled her tiny girl's belly.</p><p>"Her smile. I have only seen a smile like that on one other person." He winked at Kathryn and she smiled back softly. "It's getting late."</p><p>"I know, I know. The days are agonizingly slow on the bridge, but time seems to move at warp with this one." She got up and carried Shannon to her bed and laid the tired child down. Shannon stared back at them, her dark eyes blinking sleepily as her parents watched and smiled. Chakotay tugged at Kathryn's arm and pulled her towards his chest.</p><p>She let herself dissolve into him and sighed heavily. "Chakotay" She whispered his name and looked up and him. He smirked and released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. It had been so long…. She slipped from his grasp and shrugged out of her sheer pink nightgown. For a moment Chakotay was stuck staring at her. Her body was perfect. After the birth of Shannon she had held on to her curves and they drove him wild. Her hair hung around her should and spilled on to her chest. She pulled him out of his daze by lifting his grey shirt over his head. He assisted by removing his shorts and then pulled her into him once more. He kissed her. Hard. A passionate kiss. She pressed into him harder, pushing her mouth to his. His hands explored her body and she wrapped her arms around him. They kissed for awhile, enjoying the moment. Kathryn was the first to break that moment; she pulled away and led him towards the bed. She lay down and he crept up next to her. They didn't speak; they didn't have to. His large tan hand grazed her thigh and she pushed her hair off of her neck. He moved towards her, pushing her flat against the bed, holding himself above her. Her hands were quick and on him in a flash. A groan left his throat and he was surprised- almost embarrassed by how little it took to get him aroused. She manipulated and teased him, a smile flashed across her face. He moved his weight to one hand and used the other to cup her face, kissing her again. His kisses moved from her soft lips down her thin neck to her full chest. Her breasts were full and engorged. He nibbled at her swollen nipples and moved down to her soft belly. As his mouth explored her his free hand parted her legs and he teased between them. Kathryn pressed her lips together to hold back a soft moan. It was too much, all of it, neither of them could handle the time it was taking and suddenly, he was inside of her. Kathryn overflowed with pleasure, her body void of everything but him. Chakotay closed his eyes feeling nothing but her. They moved in tandem, Kathryn's fingers racking across his back. Chakotay knotted his fists in the blankets and pressed himself deeper. Kathryn gasped and Chakotay pulled at her collarbone with his teeth. Kathryn's body gave way first and she shuddered beneath the pleasure. Her eyes pressed tightly as waves of ecstasy washed over her. She was hardly aware of Chakotay releasing inside of her until he dropped to his side breathing deeply. As the last of the waves passed she turned to look at him. He had turned to his back and had his eyes closed. Kathryn ran her hand over his chest and he grabbed it, holding on tightly.</p><p>"I have missed you" She whispered.</p><p>Chakotay smiled.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Bridge to Captain Janeway". Tuvok's voice cut through the silence.</p><p>Kathryn jumped awake and propped herself up on her elbows. "Janeway here". She watched Chakotay stir and open his eyes.</p><p>"Captain, there is a quantum singularity forming less than a million kilometers from the ship." Tuvok's voice was stern and clear. Kathryn shot a look at Chakotay was already up and getting dressed.</p><p>"On my way. Janeway out." The captain pulled herself from the bed, her heart thudding in her chest.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The command team initiated their holo-nanny and made their way towards the turbo. Chakotay stifled a yawn.</p><p>"What? Two hours of sleep is really all we need." She nudged him in an attempt to calm her own anxious thoughts. The ship shuddered as they entered the lift and red flashed all around them. The pair looked at each other as the doors opened and they made their way on the bridge.</p><p>"Report!" Kathryn called as she stood in the middle of the bridge staring at the hole forming in the middle of the inky space.</p><p>"The singularity started forming about 15 minutes ago. It is pulsating and seems unstable." Tuvok announced as the ship shuddered as another wave from the pulsating phenomenon moved over them.</p><p>"Shields are holding" Harry said before the captain could ask.</p><p>"How far can our scanners reach?" Chakotay asked. He watched as the riff grew, light emanating from it causing him to blink.</p><p>"Tom, take us back a bit." Janeway ordered.</p><p>"There is an end. There is a stable galaxy on the other side." Tuvok proclaimed.</p><p>The captain and Chakotay looked at each other, both feeling the wave of hope crossing over them. "We have no idea how stable it is. It could collapse at any moment." Chakotay said as the voice of reason.</p><p>"Tuvok?" Kathryn turned to the Vulcan for more information.</p><p>He shook his head. "There is no way of knowing how stable it is. I suggest we wait to see how it does after it has fully formed. We can then get a better idea of how well it is going to hold up and if we can travel safely through it." He replied.</p><p>"We don't even know where it ends." Tom quipped.</p><p>The captain turned at looked at him. "Anywhere is better than this damn void." Tom nodded in agreement and turned back towards the helm. "Fine. We will give it a few hours."</p><p>"Captain, what about the flyer?" B'Elanna asked</p><p>"No, we can't risk it." Janeway was quick to answer.</p><p>"With all due respect captain" Tuvok started "At this present time the singularity is stable enough to allow a small craft to pass through it. It is possible for the delta flyer to make it through and then back unharmed."</p><p>Kathryn furrowed her brow as she considered what her Vulcan friend had just said. She nodded slowly. "Okay. The flyer it is. Is it ready?" She asked Tom.</p><p>He nodded. "Yes ma'am, we finished up with it this morning to take it through the void."</p><p>Kathryn nodded again and Chakotay watched as the captain stared at the table, deep in thought. "Captain?" He asked quietly as the crew looked on.</p><p>She snapped her head up at him. "I will leave in two hours, prepare the flyer. Dismissed."</p><p>The officers didn't move. They stared at Captain Janeway trying to find the words to combat what she had just said. Tuvok was the first to break the silence. "Captain, we have other officers that can take the flyer through, there is no need for you to go."</p><p>"This isn't a debate. I am not risking the lives of anyone on this ship for a scouting mission. If we don't all go together as a ship, then I will go alone." She stood firm and scanned every one of her officers, looking them all in the face. She had made her decision and they knew better than to argue. Even if they knew it was wrong. The officers left, all except for Chakotay. "Well?" Kathryn asked.</p><p>"Well what?" Chakotay asked back and folded his arms across his chest.</p><p>"Are you going to try and stop me? Tell me I am being flawed in my decision and shouldn't be taking chances like this. That I should think about our daughter and my life?"</p><p>"Is that what you want me to say?"</p><p>"I have to do this, Chakotay. For the crew, for us, and especially for Shannon." She put a hand on his crossed arm.</p><p>He nodded. "I understand. That's why I am not going to argue with you. The crew doesn't understand. They don't know what you are going through. Facing our fears can sometimes be the cure for the worst of ailments. And as much as it terrifies me, I know this is the right thing for you to be doing."</p><p>She looked up at his face, surprised at his reaction but grateful nonetheless. "I don't expect to fail.”</p><p>"Now that would surprise me." He smiled down at her.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn sat on the small couch in their quarters and held Shannon tight to her chest. Her daughter was sleeping soundly and hadn't even stirred when Kathryn picked her up out of her bed to hold her. She breathed in her warm sweet scent and kissed the dark curls on her head. She had never loved so hard and had never been more terrified of loosing something, or someone. The fear that had been swallowing her whole the past few weeks had to be conquered and she knew this risk was how she would do it.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Captain Janeway sat in the command chair and watched the quantum singularity on the view screen. The bridge was filled with tension as they waited for engineering to give the captain the green light for the flyer to leave dock. "Nervous?" She looked over at Chakotay who was staring out at the singularity as well.</p><p>He looked back at her and forced a smile. "No, I know you can do this, I know you're going to find us a way home."</p><p>Before Kathryn could answer B'Elanna's voice sounded over the comm. "Torres to Captain Janeway."</p><p>"Janeway here."</p><p>"The flyer is ready for you captain."</p><p>"On my way," Kathryn stood and headed towards the turbolift doors. Chakotay followed as Tuvok nodded in her direction. The rest of the bridge crew watched as she and the first officer disappear behind the doors.</p><p>The lift headed down to the shuttle bay and Chakotay watched as Kathryn chewed her lip. He lightly touched her face with the back of his hand and she turned to him. Without a word he leaned down and kissed her. She melted into the kiss and for a moment everything ceased to exist around them. He pulled back as the doors opened and they entered the bay.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Captain Janeway held the flyer outside the mouth of the singularity. The pulses washed over the tiny ship and shook it every few minutes. "We will keep an open comm as long as possible," Chakotay said from Voyager. "See you when you get back, Captain."</p><p>Kathryn smiled. "Acknowledged. " She maneuvered the vessel and started forward. Everything on sensors continued to scan as stable and she was confident she would make it. She continued to focus as she forced herself to push Shannon out of her mind. She couldn't crumble now, and she knew if she allowed her daughter to enter into her thoughts, she just might lose it. The light was blinding and Kathryn held the back of her hand to her face to shield her eyes. The ship shook as it passed through the mouth of the singularity. "I have made it in….." She said hoping voyager could still hear here. A garble of static and pieces of unrecognizable words came back through the comm and she shook her head in frustration. She had lost them already. The singularity twisted and turned and her flying skills were tested. Energy waves pulled at the tiny ship and she struggled to maintain course. She read the scanners. She was not far into the anomaly but Voyager had vanished from her readings. She felt a twinge in her chest but ignored it.</p><p>Through the brightness she thought she saw a point of darkness and squinted towards the area, her fingers running over the controls. How could she be near the end already? She thought to herself. Long-range scanners were picking up nothing but the singularity but she could swear every few moments she saw a break in the light that grew larger. It had to be the end. She sat back and let out a deep breath and moved the ship up in speed, she was going to make it.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Delta Flyer trembled and lurched forward. Kathryn swore under her breath. She was thankful that the comm wasn't working. Again black flashed across her eyes, bigger this time, she was sure of it. Scanners were still not reading anything. But she knew now this was due to interference and not lack of something out there. This gave her confidence and the panic in her gut subsided a bit.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Anything?" Chakotay couldn't hide the anxiety behind his voice. It had been fifteen minutes with no word from Kathryn.</p><p>"Nothing, Commander". Chakotay noticed Harry also harbored concern within his voice and he was grateful for the crew. Chakotay stood from his chair and paced the deck, his eyes never leaving the view screen. Come on Kathryn, he thought to himself.</p><p>"The singularity is now stable" Tuvok announced and Chakotay watched as the pulsing stopped.</p><p>Chakotay tapped his comm once again. "Voyager to Captain Janeway." Nothing but static answered his call. He wasn't expecting to hear her voice but the lack of it still felt like a rock in his gut. He continued to remind himself that she was more than capable to be on this mission, if not the most capable on the crew. And he wondered to himself if he were not in love with her and had a child with her would he still feel the same way? He shook his head unconsciously to clear the thought. It had only been fifteen minutes but it felt like an eternity. They had decided on six hours. If the captain had not returned by then they would consider the mission a loss and move on. Chakotay knew now that if six hours passed and Kathryn had not returned that he would be breaking her orders and following her in.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Finally, the black speck stayed within view. It was the end and she was moving towards it, fast. The scanners blipped and beeped at her as the exit approached. She ran her fingers over the controls trying her best to reline scanners to pick up anything outside of the anomaly. Still there was nothing, just the promise of an end. The ship moved forward and she squinted her eyes trying to focus past the black hoping to see something more. She was almost out, just a few more kilometers. She slowed the ship down unsure of what lay ahead. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath ignoring the slight shudder of apprehension she couldn't control. She opened her eyes just as she left the singularity. Her eyes adjusted to the lack of light and she looked around. Galaxy. She nearly cried at the sight, her blue eyes welling. Planets, stars, moons, comets, it was beautiful and it was alive. She read the sensors, class M planets, moons with fresh water, mineral deposits, dilithium, and humanoids. Humanoids. Ships. There were ships here. Kathryn checked her location. Her heart pounded in her ears. She was 5 thousand light-years from where her ship was, and 5 thousand light-years closer to home. An alarm sounded and she looked over her dash. A large ship was approaching, and before she could do anything, two more followed behind it. "Shield's up" she said to herself. She hailed the first ship and it was answered almost instantly. On a small view screen an alien appeared. He had a pig like face and dark shaggy hair like a mop on his head, his moss green skin speckled with florescent scales.</p><p>The alien grunted, Kathryn could only assume it was a greeting or a question. She introduced herself. "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager, my ship is through this singularity, and I am here on a scouting mission looking for a way out a space void." She waited for an answer.</p><p>The green piggish face starred at her for a moment. "You came from the singularity?" He asked it what sounded almost like surprise.</p><p>"Yes" She answered him. "My ship is on the other side. I need to return to it and bring them back through."</p><p>The alien starred again, this time he narrowed his eyes. "I am Quel."</p><p>"Hello" She nodded, apprehension tingled the back of her neck. The two ships flanking Quel's ship came around and closed in on her tiny craft.</p><p>"We wish to welcome you to our territory." He grinned and black pointed teeth were exposed through his thin lips. Before Kathryn could make a move she was transported out of the Delta Flyer.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Five hours had passed and the whole crew was on edge. The captain had not returned and with an hour until they were to call the mission; tensions were high. Chakotay had been debating with himself on what to do. Never reaching a conclusion he called a senior staff meeting. He sat in the captain's chair and looked at the officers.</p><p>"I say we go in." Tom Paris was first to offer his opinion. "The singularity is stable, at full warp we can catch up to her if she is still in it. If not we can catch her on the other side."</p><p>Chakotay waited for Tuvok to retort the comment but the Vulcan surprised him. "While it is in direct violation to the captains orders, Mr. Paris does have a point. We do not know how much longer the singularity will be stable, we could lose our chance to find the captain." Chakotay nodded. Tuvok knew Kathryn longer than anyone on this ship, he knew the Vulcan disagreed with the plan from the start, but being the officer he was he did not debate with her. Now that she was gone, he felt obligated to give his opinion, the captain's certain wrath at breaking orders never crossing his mind.</p><p>"Everything is in perfect working order, the ability of the ship is not a question." B'Elanna added.</p><p>The first officer had already made up his mind, but having the crews support gave him confidence. "Alright, we are going in. Everyone to their stations. Lets find the captain."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn found herself standing in a bare room with solid grey walls, two guards stood at each side of an open door open across from her and in the middle of the room was a small table. At the table sat Quel, his black eyes boring into her. "Why have you brought me here?" She asked with more confidence than she felt. </p><p>"Graciousness, I think, is what you give a host when you are a guest." Quel spoke.</p><p>"I didn't ask to be a guest on your ship. I would like to be returned to my own vessel." Kathryn said as she lifted her chin, holding her hands on her hips.</p><p>Quel tsked at her. "Such a feisty little…. What are you again?"</p><p>"Human."</p><p>"Of course, human. From the Alfa quadrant you say? What stories you must have! Tell me, my little human captain. How did you make it over 65 thousand light-years to my humble sector of space?"</p><p>"We were thrown here by an entity. I am trying to get my ship home."</p><p>"So noble you are. And how smart to use the singularity as a path towards your home." Quel watched her intently.</p><p>"We are explorers. We had no idea where this singularity would take us. I scouted ahead to make sure it was safe and…."</p><p>He cut her off. "And is it safe?"</p><p>She pursed her lips and looked at him. "I never try to make enemies, I have always found it safer to have allies. My ship is not a threat, like I said before; we are explorers, scientists, learning whatever we can and just trying to get home. So, if you accept my alliance then yes, I think it is sufficed to say that this is a 'safe' sector".</p><p>"Scientists? How delightful! We have something in common, my little captain! My people are also scientists. Although we claim this sector as our own, we really do not have a home. Our ships are our homes, where ever we decide to go." He smiled, a malicious evil smile that made Kathryn's skin prickle with a chill. "We study. We study everything, and we collect." He tapped a finger to his green head. "You know, now that I think of it; we do not have any human specimens in our collection."</p><p>Kathryn swallowed. "I do not think you should count on adding any humans to your collection any time soon." She narrowed her eyes at him and he stood. She stood her ground, her head held high.</p><p>Quel called to his guards and in a few seconds they were at both sides of her. "Please, take our guest to see the science lab." He ordered and large hands clamped down around her arms and she was led out of the room.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Shields are holding!" Harry called over the shudder of the ship as they moved through the singularity. They were holding strong at warp 7, Tom maneuvering the ship through the twists with great agility.</p><p>"How far until we reach the end?" Chakotay called.</p><p>"Unknown. The sensors are being scrambled by the anomaly. No sign of the captain." Tuvok answered.</p><p>"Damn." Chakotay said and balled his fist. He watched the almost blinding light of the singularity twist and bend around the ship. Voyager shuddered but pressed on, seemingly unharmed by the energy pulls.</p><p>"commander." Tuvok called out suddenly. "The singularity is loosing stability." His voice void of concern.</p><p>"How long do we have?" Chakotay asked alarmed as he watched the light begin to pulse through the view screen.</p><p>"Unknown. But if the phenomenon from earlier in the day is any indication we have roughly two hours to make it out before it collapses."</p><p>Chakotay tapped his comm. "Chakotay to B'Elanna".</p><p>"I'm here commander."</p><p>"How is the core holding up?"</p><p>"Steady and strong."</p><p>"Can we jump to full warp?"</p><p>"No objections here, sir."</p><p>"Chakotay out. Tom, warp 9". Chakotay watched as Tom initiated full warp and the light moved faster past them. The pulsing continued around them.</p><p>"Shields at 95 percent" Tuvok announced.</p><p>"Commander! I think we are near the end. Sensors are…. No… yes! Sensors are picking up space matter about a million kilometers ahead of us." Harry proclaimed excitedly.</p><p>"How long?" The commander asked.</p><p>"With the energy fluctuation and at full warp…. Fifteen minutes. We are going to make it!" Harry said.</p><p>Chakotay stared ahead watching the bright light flash. "Any sign of the delta flyer?"</p><p>"Negative" Tuvok answered.</p><p>"She made it out." Chakotay said to himself. She must have made it out. They would find her on the other side. The ship shook and he grabbed the arm of the command chair to keep from being flung to the ground. He ran his hand over the cool leather, as Kathryn had done countless times before.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn was pulled into a bright room; it smelled oddly familiar, like window cleaner and bleach. The walls were lined with long metal tables. Tools of all shapes and sizes were heaped in a pile near a dripping sink. The sickening sight of coagulated blood coating the tools made her turn away. Shelves above the table held glass specimen jars, of all sizes containing what looked like organs, limbs and other unidentifiable organic material. Her stomach flipped uneasily.</p><p>"Doctor! Doctor Lin! I have a surprise for you!" Quel called out and a brutish light green female appeared from behind a closet door Kathryn had not noticed.</p><p>The doctor hurried over to them and looked Kathryn up and down. "What is it?" She clapped her large hands excitedly as she touched Kathryn's hair lightly.</p><p>"A human!" Quel answered her.</p><p>"A what? I have never heard of human before. Where is it from?" The doctor asked, taking Kathryn's hand in her own and turning it over. The captain resisted the urge to pull away.</p><p>"She. The human is female. A captain of a star ship no less! And a scientist!" Quel seemed proud of himself. "For the collection!"</p><p>Doctor Lin pulled Kathryn out of the grips of the guards and shooed them away. Quel nodded and they left leaving the three of them alone. "A human female. How extraordinary!" Lin pulled at Kathryn's jacket and unzipped it, pulling it off of her shoulders, and began touching her skin on her upper arms and shoulders. "No scales!"</p><p>"No, no scales" Kathryn said and pulled back from the touch. Quel took her tightly by the shoulders and held her firm. "She is lively isn't she? And yet so small." She tugged at Kathryn's hair and touched it gingerly as it fell down around her shoulders. She continued to touch her skin on her arms and the fabric of her grey shirt and black pants.</p><p>"Lets get a specimen shall we?" Quel suggested with enthusiasm. His eyes narrowed when he caught her looking at him. He twisted her arm and held it out for Lin to examine. Kathryn winced at the force and clenched her jaw. The word "specimen" didn't sit well with her and she struggled at the hold as Lin nodded turning to a small cabinet filled with tools. Quel twisted her arm harder at her protest and she quieted down.</p><p>"Here we are!" Doctor Lin came back with a tiny scalpel and Kathryn's eyes widened slightly.</p><p>"You don't have to do this. I can give you all the information you want; anything about humans, and other species. My people have massive catalogs of information from numerous planets and solar systems."</p><p>"What's the fun in that?" Quel asked?</p><p>"Hold still please" Lin said happily as she sliced through sprig of Kathryn's hair and placed it on a rolling tray. She turned back and touched the soft skin of Kathryn's inner arm. Lin steadied the sharp knife over her arm and Kathryn recoiled. She yanked her arm way from Lin and slammed her back into Quel's hefty frame. He took a step back as she worked to free herself from his grip.</p><p>"Quel! Hold her! It's just going to pinch for a moment, dear. We have to find out what we are working with!" Lin took Kathryn's arm again and pressed the scalpel into her soft pale skin. Kathryn turned her head away and closed her eyes as she felt warm blood run down her arm and into her palm. Lin held up a small vile and caught some of the blood and corked it. She then lifted the scalpel again and pressed it into her flesh pulling downwards and then away from her. Kathryn gasped and gritted her teeth as Lin peeled back an inch long slice of her flesh. Quel tightened his grip on her as her knees threatened to give out. "All done! See? That wasn't so bad." Lin pressed a white rag to the bleeding wound in her arm. Crimson seeped through the fabric and Lin watched in amazement. "Red blood?" She turned and took the hair and skin to what looked like a microscope at the far side of the room. Quel released one of Kathryn's arms and she used it to press the cloth to her bleeding arm. She felt her pulse in the wound; Lin had severed a large vein and blood dripped from her fingertips.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sensors are picking up space matter at the end of the quantum singularity…. Results are scrambled but there seems to be some sort of ship near the opening." Tuvok reported as the ship slowed near the mouth of the anomaly.</p><p>"The captain?" Chakotay asked.</p><p>"Unknown."</p><p>"Commander, we are leaving the singularity." Harry announced. The ship fell out of warp and the blinding light disappeared, replaced with a beautiful galaxy. The crew was silent at the sight. But the silence only lasted a moment when their eyes fell to three alien ships, one with a blue tractor beam holding the delta flyer.</p><p>"Shields up! Red alert!" Chakotay called and red flashed around him. "Hail that ship!"</p><p>xxx</p><p>Quel shoved Kathryn down to the floor and stepped around her. "Don't move!" He said harshly as he made his way towards a rolling metal table and laid a sheet over it.</p><p>The captain moved her foot away from the small puddle of her own blood and winced slightly as she moved the rag to look at the small square of missing flesh on her arm. The bleeding had slowed but only slightly and the stinging remained. She watched the two aliens as they worked and noticed how agile they were despite their rather large bodies. "You have taken your samples. Please return me to my flyer, I need to get back to my ship." She tried reasoning with them.</p><p>"Do you really think we would be content with just samples? You are the first of your species we have ever seen. There is so much to learn, to explore. You of all people should understand that." Quel sneered and Lin nodded in agreement.</p><p>Kathryn looked up at the jars around the room and her stomach turned. It had been well over six hours. Voyager should be well away from the start of the singularity by now. She thought of Shannon and her heart sank. She couldn't allow herself to wallow in self pity, she could still get out of this, get back to the flyer and back to Shannon. Suddenly a shrill alarm sounded overhead, Kathryn ducked slightly out of instinct and watched as the two aliens spun around in concern. "What is that?" She called over the alarm and watched as Quel made his way out of the lab in a rush.</p><p>"Stay here, I will be back." He said to the doctor then looked down at Kathryn. "It would benefit you greatly if you stay where you are." And with a slam of the door he was gone. Kathryn looked up at Lin and thought she saw a look of concern cross her piggish face.</p><p>"What's happening?" Kathryn asked the doctor as she watched the large woman busy herself with menial tasks as she looked about the room each time the alarm blared.</p><p>"Nothing you need to be concerned with." The doctor replied in an even tone. Unlike Quel, Lin did not exude evil and she thought had they met under different circumstances and if she had not just cut a chunk out of her arm she would have like to learn about her, talked with her about her life and experiences. "Why don't you come over here and we will get you cleaned up, hm?"</p><p>Kathryn looked up at her unsure but lifted herself off of the floor. The dried blood on her injured arm cracked and flaked, the puckered skin pulling at the wound caused blood to seep from the edges. Kathryn walked towards the doctor who held up a warm wet rag and softly cleaned around the injury. Kathryn nodded in gratitude when she was done and looked at her arm and let out a breath. "What else do you plan on doing to me?" She asked before she lost the nerve to receive the answer to the question.</p><p>Lin looked at her, trying to ignore the alarm. "We are going to dissect you, dear…."</p><p>Kathryn felt the blood drain from her face and her skin felt clammy. "You…. You can't….."</p><p>Suddenly the door swung open and Quel lumbered back in. "Humans. They have come for the little captain. Get started on her, I do not want to lose this opportunity!" He yelled and grabbed a large syringe filled with a milky yellow substance and shoved it towards Lin. Kathryn's eyes flashed. Voyager. Chakotay. A new sense of hope filled her and she watched as Lin took the needle.</p><p>"You don't want to do this, Lin." She held up her hands towards the doctor. But Quel was already behind her, holding her in a solid grip as Lin plunged the needle into her bicep and pushed the contents into her body.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Where is Captain Janeway?" Chakotay asked in a firm voice as he studied the pig-like alien on the large view screen.</p><p>"Janeway? Captain? I am sure I don't know of whom you speak of." Quel replied with a ghoulish smile.</p><p>"You have her ship locked in a tractor beam and our scanners are picking up one human life form aboard your ship. Release her now." Chakotay voice rose in agitation.</p><p>"She is perfectly safe. She is our guest."</p><p>"I would like to speak with her. Now"</p><p>"Commander, the flanking ships are powering weapons." Harry announced as the view screen went back to space view.</p><p>"Align shields to compensate, ready torpedoes. Tuvok, can you get a lock on the captain?"</p><p>"Negative, they have a force field around the containment room where she is being kept. I will continue to modulate transport to see if I can compensate." Tuvok studied his dash and his fingers flew over the lighted screens.</p><p>"They are firing!" Harry called as a bright blue light slashed across space and slammed into Voyager. The ship rumbled but nothing more. Harry looked around in surprise. "Shields still at 100%"</p><p>"They're toying with us. Give them something back, see if we can get through their shields, maybe it will give us some insight on how to knock out that force field around the Captain in the main ship." Chakotay watched as their torpedoes sped towards one of the flanking ships. It exploded before reaching the ship and a strange green light shimmered around the entire vessel. "What they lack in offense they sure make up in defense". He shook his head and pressed his fingers to the bridge his nose. He tapped his commbadge. "Chakotay to Torres".</p><p>"Torres here."</p><p>"B'Elanna, we have to get past their shields, see what you can come up with….."</p><p>He was cut off by Tuvok. "Commander, the ships are retreating."</p><p>Chakotay watched as the three ships backed up and changed direction the main ship pulling the delta flyer along with it. "Follow them, match course and speed."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Kathryn opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurry. She tried to rub her eyes but she couldn't move her arms. She rolled her head to the side and saw someone moving around the room. She groaned inwardly and tried to move her legs. She couldn't. She was on one of the metal tables, she was naked and a sheet was thrown over her. Large straps restrained her arms, chest and legs.</p><p>"Oh you're awake. I was wondering when you would wake up. You are such a small frail thing. You had a strong reaction to the serum. Very interesting." Doctor Lin peered over the table at the captain.</p><p>Kathryn's eyes moved in and out of focus on the alien woman's face. "What? What are you doing?"</p><p>"Your people have come for you. We need to move quickly. Quel will be extremely angry if we lose you before we are able to add you to our collection." Lin answered, a slight waver in her voice.</p><p>"Why don't you just let me go? Why go through all of this trouble?" She pulled at her restraints, testing them. The metal table was cold and her skin prickled.</p><p>"I don't make the rules, dear. I just do as I am told." Lin shifted uneasily and uncovered Kathryn from her chest down to her lower hips.</p><p>Kathryn felt exposed, uncomfortable and out of control but she thought she was making progress with the alien woman and continued talking. "Don't you think you could make a difference? Don't you think you would feel better knowing you have saved lives instead of taking them?"</p><p>Lin studied the captain's face as she pressed and manipulated her body, Her large warm hands traced her collarbone and over her breasts. Her breast. They were full and engorged and she had not realized until now how tender they were. They yearned for Shannon. Kathryn closed her eyes at the intrusion of privacy. Lin moved her hands down, pressing into her ribs seemingly to count them. Lin then pressed her hands into Kathryn's abdomen, hard, feeling and kneading. Kathryn flinched at the pressure.</p><p>"How many stomachs do humans have?" The doctor asked casually.</p><p>Kathryn arched an eyebrow. "Just one.”</p><p>Lin nodded and continued prodding. "Do you have children?"</p><p>Something in Kathryn's chest pulled and her stomach ached. "One".</p><p>"Egg bearing?"</p><p>"Egg bearing? What…no." Kathryn was confused.</p><p>"No?" Lin had a look that resembled confusion and she removed her hands from Kathryn's abdomen. "Live birth. So rare nowadays, seems more species have evolved past the burden of inner-body gestation."</p><p>The captain watched Lin as she turned to her small trey of instruments and picked up another scalpel. "What are you doing?" She pulled at her ties again.</p><p>"We do not own any human organs, let alone female human reproductive organs. And I can't wait to see what a human heart looks like." Lin answered softly.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"I don't understand. Why don't they do anything?" Chakotay sat in the command chair and watched as voyager followed the three large ships at a sluggish pace. The alien ships easily deflected everything they fired at them and they had not fired anything back. They just moved along, slowly.</p><p>B'Elanna who had made her way on to the bridge earlier was deep in thought as she watched the three lumbering ships. "Send me in". She broke her silence and the bridge crew all turned to look at her.</p><p>"What?" Chakotay asked, though her had heard her the first time.</p><p>"Send me in, lets get a shuttle out, and they will take me just like the captain. I can get a transceiver on her that should be able to cut through their force field, then you can beam us back and we can leave at warp."</p><p>Chakotay considered what had just been said but shook his head. "We can't risk it. We don't even know if the captain is still…" He trailed off.</p><p>"Chakotay, we may be federation crew now, but we will always have the hearts of rebels. We do not back down from a challenge and we do not leave a member of the crew behind. I have studied the logistics of their shields. I can do this." She was stern but willing and she looked him straight in the eyes, never faltering.</p><p>"You're not going alone. I want the senior staff in the briefing room in ten minutes, we need a game plan." He headed into the captains ready room.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>A slick sheet of sweat covered Kathryn's body as she prepared for what was about to happen to her. She watched at Lin sterilized her instruments then came back to the captain and wiped her chest and abdomen down with a cool cloth leaving a blue residue. "Always better to be sterile" She said as she swiped at Kathryn's skin.</p><p>"Doctor Lin…. Please. She stretched her hand as far as she good through her ties and it brushed the aliens arm. Lin starred at her for a moment then looked away.</p><p>"I don't like doing this. I am a doctor. I help people." The doctor closed her black beady eyes for a moment then looked back at Kathryn. "You seem like such a nice woman. I would have liked to learn more about your people."</p><p>Tears sprang to Kathryn's eyes and she blinked them back. "I have a daughter… Her name is Shannon. She is four months old." She took a shuddering breath. "I can't leave her."</p><p>"Shannon." Lin repeated the name softly and pressed the scalpel to Kathryn's abdomen below her navel. "I'm sorry….".</p><p>Kathryn looked down at her stomach past her breasts and watched as the small knife sliced into her flesh. A searing pain started at the point and spread across her abdomen. A white fire burning as her skin split easily under the blade. She let her head fall back onto the metal table, her thoughts foggy as she felt warm blood drip down her hips and pool under her at the small of her back. Beads of sweats dripped into her eyes and down her temples. Her body shook uncontrollably and she knew she was going into shock. There was a pressure now, where the alien woman pressed deeper into the captain's flesh. Janeway bit down on the inside of her lip and rolled her head back and forth trying to keep conscious a quiet moan escaped her lips. Unexpectedly the lab door flew open and a group of people entered. Lin jumped in surprise and the pressure stopped but the searing burn continued as Lin pulled the sheet over the captain and a red stain grew. The doctor looked up in alarm and moved towards the group. Kathryn's eyes rolled back, she shook her head again, and craned her head back and nearly cried out at what she saw.</p><p>Two brutish alien guards were dragging an unconscious B'Elanna between them. They hoisted her up onto one of the tables and her head slumped to one side. Her face was bloody and one eye was swollen, tinged a deep purplish black. Behind them Quel walked in shoving Tuvok ahead of him. Tuvok's eyes met hers. "Got you two more Dr. Lin!" Quel announced excitedly.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chakotay paced the bridge, his first to his chin, his eyes darting from the large ships on the view screen to his feet. B'Elanna and Tuvok had been gone an hour, no word from them, no word from the ships. They continued at their glacial pace. "Life signs?"</p><p>"Three, strong." Harry answered and watched the commander, then glanced at his friend Tom who gave him a concerning look. "Should we hail them?"</p><p>Chakotay shook his head. "No, we have to give Torres and Tuvok time.” Harry nodded in understanding. The bridge was eerily quiet as they waited for something; anything to happen.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Quel shoved Tuvok into the room where he assessed the captain's condition with a swift glance. Her naked torso exposed, a white sheet saturated with blood covered her abdomen. Her skin was pale from blood loss and her blue eyes seemed darker as they blinked long slow blinks, her mind threatening to loose consciousness. B'Elanna lay unmoving on the metal table, her head turned away from him. He watched as a female alien, the one who had been cutting into the captain ran her large hand over the half Klingon's forehead.</p><p>"What? What is she?" The woman almost gasped in amazement.</p><p>"Ask him, she was unconscious when we transported them over." Quel shrugged his shoulders and looked towards Tuvok.</p><p>"She is half Klingon and half human." He answered without any inflection in his tone.</p><p>"And what are you?" Lin said and she circled him, eyeing his pointed Vulcan ears.</p><p>"I am Vulcan."</p><p>"Vulcan. Klingon. Human." She repeated, and glanced over at Kathryn who was squirming on the table, blood dripping slowly onto the floor. "What happened to her?" Lin asked Tuvok as she touched B'Elanna's bruised face.</p><p>"She disobeyed a direct order. She stole a shuttle in an attempt to save our captain. I beamed over before your ship transported us. She attacked me. I fought back." Tuvok explained.</p><p>"You did this?" Quel asked staring at the tall dark man.</p><p>Tuvok nodded. "My species is trained extensively in combat. Klingons are also a highly trained and aggressive species. I had to subdue her before she caused me harm. She will not be awake for hours."</p><p>Quel nodded and shrugged again. "Well, it looks like you're going to have a busy day, Doctor! Three new species!" His voice rose in excitement as he twisted Tuvok's hands behind his back and clasped them in strong bindings. "Sit" he said sternly and pressed on Tuvok's shoulder. The Vulcan did as he was told and sat on the floor near an empty table. "Do not move." Quel went over to the cabinet and grabbed a syringe, filling it with milky yellow fluid. "How's it going with our little captain?" He asked casually as he made his way back to the Vulcan, pausing for a moment to run a hand over Kathryn's slick brow.</p><p>"No progress yet, only made the initial incision before you came barreling in." The doctor answered and pulled the sheet from the captain's belly and pressed lightly at the wound. A six-inch incision through the first layers of skin and fat was visible from where Tuvok was sitting. Blood pooled and seeped from stark white skin and a layer of belly fat. From the looks of things, the doctor had not made her way though the captain's abdominal muscles.</p><p>Quel pushed Tuvok's head to the side and stuck a large needle into his neck, plunging the yellow liquid into his veins. Tuvok winced. "What is that?"</p><p>"A sedative. Can't have you awake and causing trouble now can we?" The alien laughed maliciously. He motioned for his guards, and they left with a nod. Quel walked over to the opposite side of the table where the captain lay and looked at Lin. "Their ship is following us, I cant' stay, as much as I wish I could be here to watch. Two guards will be outside the door if you need anything. The Vulcan will be out for a while". Lin nodded and Quel made his way out of the lab, leaving the three members of Voyager alone with the doctor.</p><p>Tuvok's vision blurred and he felt like he was sitting in thick mud, his limbs heavy, and his mind slow. He did what ever he could to stay conscious but in a matter of moments; darkness consumed him. His body sagged and his head slumped forward.</p><p>"Tuvok" Kathryn called weakly, letting her head roll back to the side after watching the Vulcan lose consciousness.</p><p>"There, there." He will be fine. Lin patted the captain's hand. "Lets finish up shall we?" We have a busy day ahead of us, now that your friends have joined us."</p><p>The thought of these aliens dissecting her crew, her family, fueled anger inside of her and she seethed at the woman. "You will not take my crew, you will not…." She clenched her teeth and hissed in pain as the doctor pressed at the slice in her belly. She closed her eyes tightly then opened them again staring up at the metallic ceiling. She felt Lin at her side, then suddenly there was a thud and the doctor disappeared and was replaced with B'Elanna.</p><p>The young half Klingon winced as she looked at the slice in the captain's skin and pulled the sheet up over her and winced at the cry her captain gave when she put pressure on the bleeding wound. Then quickly, she bent down to tie the hands of the doctor. When she was done the young half Klingon untied her captain and didn't fight her when she pushed herself into a sitting position, gasping. She replaced the sheet with a clean rag over the wound and wrapped the sheet around the captains shaking shoulders. "Give me your arm" any other time she would have regretted ordering the captain, but Kathryn did as she was told and held out a pale arm. B'Elanna fiddled with her commbadge and pulled out a tiny blinking transmitter and pressed it into the captain's flesh. B'Elanna watched for a reaction but received none. She put her commbadge back together and tapped it. "Torres to Voyager."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>Chakotay's head snapped up and he looked up towards the screen. "Voyager here."</p><p>"I have the captain she needs the doctor now. Tuvok is unconscious, they injected him with something." Her voice was quiet and but hurried.</p><p>"Did you get the micro-trans unit to the captain?"</p><p>"She's got it. We are in some sort of lab, there are guards posted outside. Not sure I can get to a control panel. We may have to do this the hard way."</p><p>"Do what you can B'Elanna, tell us when."</p><p>"Torres out".</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Wake her up" Janeway swayed on the table and B'Elanna held a hand to her shoulder to steady her.</p><p>"What? Captain…."</p><p>"Wake her up." She winced and pressed a hand to her abdomen and swallowed hard. "She will help us."</p><p>B'Elanna looked at the captain with uncertainty but bent down and pulled the alien woman into a sitting position. She pressed her knuckles into the brown cloth over her thick green chest. "Hey. Hey!" She said trying not to be too loud.</p><p>"Doctor Lin" Kathryn told B'Elanna.</p><p>"Doctor Lin, wake up." She shook her by the shoulders.</p><p>The doctor moaned and opened her black eyes. "Whaaa…. Whhhattt… Queelll" She started to yell out but B'Elanna shoved a rag into her face.</p><p>"Do not make a sound. Do you understand?" B'Elanna said with anger in her voice and she watched wearily as the Captain pulled herself down off of the table, nearly doubling over, grabbing the table for support as her knees buckled.</p><p>Kathryn waved her hand at B'Elanna. "Lin…. Lin…. Listen to me. We are getting off your ship, one way or another. If you help us, it will mean less casualties for both sides. I know this isn't you. I know you don't want to hurt people. You are a doctor. You help people. Please, help us get home."</p><p>B'Elanna watched the captain, then looked down at the doctor. The alien nodded slowly. "Is there a control panel in this room?" Torres asked Lin. The alien nodded again and pointed with her chin towards a closed door. "Don't move!" She ran towards the door and disappeared behind it.</p><p>Lin gave Kathryn a pleading look and the captain removed the rag. "Thank you." She said quietly. Kathryn starred down at her, blood running down the front of her thighs in thick rickets and she moved her eyes to scan the room for her uniform. "On that table" Lin motioned behind Kathryn and the captain turned and saw her clothes folded neatly behind her, her commbadge sitting on top of them. She felt a sudden almost irresistible urge to grab it, to call for Chakotay, to tell him she was alright, and she loved him and Shannon more than anything. But she stayed put, watching the alien doctor as her chief engineer worked.</p><p>A familiar alarm sounded around them and B'Elanna emerged from behind the door. "We only have a few minutes!" Kathryn turned and moved painfully towards her uniform as B'Elanna barricaded the door. She turned and pulled Lin to her feet.</p><p>The doctor's eyes flashed with uncertainty. "What are you going to do to me?"</p><p>B'Elanna didn't answer; she pulled the doctor to the far wall and pushed the metal tables towards her leaving a small opening to get through. She glanced over at the captain who had managed to pull her trousers and grey shirt onto her body, and was crouched painfully over Tuvok. "Captain!" She called. B'Elanna was at Kathryn's side in an instant. "Get behind those tables, turn them over if you can, I will get Tuvok." Kathryn's mind was foggy and she wasn't sure what was happening but she did as she was told. She made her way towards Doctor Lin and the tables, using her weight she pulled one down to its side and it crashed at her feet. Pain shot through her and she staggered for a moment closing her eyes.</p><p>Lin watched her with an almost sympathetic look. "The pink bottle, in the cabinet. It will help the pain."</p><p>Kathryn eyed her wearily and pulled down another table as B'Elanna made her way towards them dragging Tuvok behind the fallen tables. They could hear yelling from behind the door and something was slamming into it, trying to knock down the barricade. "Captain! Get down!" She tapped her comm. "Torres to Voyager".</p><p>"Voyager here." Chakotay answered and Kathryn's heart leapt at his voice as she lowered herself down behind the over sided table.</p><p>"Wait for my mark…." B'Elanna yelled over the yelling and crashing of the door. The door gave way and guards spilled into the room charging towards them; guns raised.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Torres?" Chakotay called but only silence answered. "Harry?"</p><p>"Nothing yet commander!"</p><p>xxx</p><p>"Get up!" Quel stood in front of the group of guards and pointed a large rifle towards Janeway. "GET UP!" He screamed and Kathryn flinched and tried pushing herself up off of the ground.</p><p>"No!" Doctor Lin knocked into Kathryn causing her to stumble back to the ground.</p><p>B'Elanna's dark eyes flashed, from the door at the end of the room to the rifle in her face and back to the captain who was maneuvering herself back into a sitting position. Suddenly, an explosion reverberated through the room. A bright light flashed and a wave of hot air smashed into everyone in the room. Guards stumbled and tripped over themselves, Doctor Lin fell back. Sparks jumped from overhead as bits of metal rained down on top of them. Quel got back to his feet aiming his gun at the captain's head. Lin pushed herself from her knee and dove into the side of Quel, and they both crashed to the floor.</p><p>"Torres to Voyager! Three to beam directly to sickbay!"</p><p>Before they were transported Kathryn watched in horror as Quel shot his rifle into Lin. A scream escaped Kathryn's lips only to dissolve into nothingness as she was transported off of the ship.</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"Kathryn?" Kathryn." Chakotay's voice sounded far away, her head pounded behind her eyes but she opened them anyway. The blurry figure of Chakotay standing over her in sickbay holding Shannon slowly came into focus and a smile crept to her lips. She sat up and held out her arms and Chakotay placed their smiling daughter into them.</p><p>"Hey you" Kathryn whispered into the side of Shannon's head, kissing her chocolate brown curls. Chakotay bent down and kissed Kathryn's temple, running a hand over hers on Shannon's back. Kathryn looked up at him. "And hey you."</p><p>Xxx</p><p>"How do you feel?" Chakotay asked a few days later as Kathryn sat on their bed bouncing Shannon in front of her. The baby girl smiled and a sound that was meant to be a giggle escaped her plump pink lips.</p><p>Kathryn smiled and looked up at Chakotay. "I'm fine, I have been fine for days."</p><p>"I don't mean physically."</p><p>Kathryn stopped bouncing Shannon and was still for a moment. She thought about the alien ship, the lab, Quel and Doctor Lin, she thought about the pain and the explosion, it was a memory that wasn't going away soon. But during the entire ordeal her thoughts were on Chakotay and their daughter. All she had wanted was to get back to them. To be back on Voyager, foraging on towards home. And here she was doing just that. Her anxiety, the panic attacks were gone, she couldn't remember feeling anxious since before she left Voyager. She looked at Chakotay, a half smirk on his face as he waited for her answer. "I faced my biggest fear, the prospect of losing you, of losing Shannon and I am still standing. There is so much more to fear than we are aware of, Chakotay. It is something deep inside of us, in all of us. Sometimes it manages to gnaw its way out and the only way to push it back in is to fight it with itself. My anxiety stemmed from loosing my family when in reality I was never in much danger of having that happen, and the cycle just continued on and on. Until it did almost happen, and the realization, the jolt of being able to come back from that… that's what did it. That's what saved me."</p><p>Chakotay nodded. "I think I understand" He said and sat down next to her.</p><p>She shook her head. "Even I am not sure I understand it. But, I think, I think I have my own fear to thank." She trailed off looking outside of their window at the billions of stars moving in white trails past them. "And Lin."</p><p>"Lin?" Chakotay asked.</p><p>"Someone who showed me what real bravery is." She leaned her head on Chakotay's chest and smiled at Shannon who rolled over from her belly to her back. Her parents cheered for her as Voyager slipped quietly through space.</p>
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